To just want to go home

[Footloose80]

On holiday with dh and dds. Dh is unable to much due to a deterioration in mobility. I drove down Friday evening after I had a tummy bug. Since than all the stress had fallen to me. I loaded and unloaded car. Did all the cooking, clearing up and childcare etc. Yesterday dh got the hump because I didn't hand the snack he wanted directly to him in the bedroom as I was distracted by dd2.
Today he posted about our first attempt at going out and about with the travel wheelchair. He joked about my inadequacy steering online.
I just feel like this isn't a holiday and that we might as well go home. Also really starting to question future with dh.
Tbh right now I feel obliged to support dh during illness but once well things may change.

Deep down I feel I need to stick by him during these difficult times. However I am almost planning my exit once things improve.

So he's using his temporary problem to take advantage? Exaggerating his disability? How long do the doctors think this problem will last?

Holiday now over. Up earlier than necessary as he called out for his phone and pain relief. As usual kids didn't hear.
I know he can't reach them and needs pain relief at least but may be he should keep them by the bed.

Go out with the kids and leave him behind to fend for himself. Do something life softplay so you can relax a bit, take a book. Ignore your phone. You need a break from him.

Of course he should keep the by the bed! I'm astonished he doesn't, it's quite shocking.

He seems to have no interest in helping himself and is very much taking his anger out on you. Was he like this be he became ill? Was he the sort of person who blamed anything/everyone else for his own wrong-doings? Did he take responsibility for his own actions?

Why is he blaming you for his disability, why is he forcing you to be respnsible for it?

Re his pain relief, move it his bedside each night with a glass of water and tell him that's where it is if he needs it. Does he get you up so he can get to the loo during the night? Get him a chamber pot or a commode... mind you, you'd then have to clean them for him wouldn't you?

Talk to your gp about how exhausted you are and how you can't keep up this level of care, ask for help. I suspect that if you got carers coming in to deal with him he'd miraculously find he can do loads of things for himself.

You can’t leave medication lying around with young children, that could be extremely dangerous.

I have a disability (MS) OP, and it is bloody tough to live with, some days are really awful.

But I try not to take it out on my DH as he does everything he can to help me. But being in pain, isn’t easy.

Could you have a conversation with your DH about what you both need and how you are feeling? Could you have some help to care for your DH from family or carer?

Your needs are also important OP. Sending you a hug.

I have MS too, and yes, it's hard to cope with constant pain. I am immensely grateful that my dh and dd help me to the extent that they do, but I also push hard to do as much as I can for myself.

It was harder when dd was small, finding safe places to keep pills etc so she couldn't get at them, initially if they were out of her reach then they were also out of mine!

So does your dh have MS? Is the assumption that his mobility isser temporary made because atm his MS is considered r/r?

Youngest dd is 6 and doesn't really go in our room.
Don't want to say too much about his condition but it does cause mobility issues and lots of pain. Some planned procedures on the next 9 months should help immensly.
Sorry so many others are suffering.

I'd put his phone/ipad and whatnot on a high shelf out of his reach

That would be abuse.

My Dad has MS and it is very hard on the caring partner although my DM was at least ‘lucky’ enough to have small children.

Have you talked to your local authorities about any respite care that may be available for you?

Sorry, lucky enough not to have more children.