I read so many threads on here that mention abusive/unkind/hurtful behaviour and I wanted to tell you a little about my story.
I was married to a horror- he started off sweet, typical love bombing behaviour and then after some time ramped up the financial, emotional and mental abuse.
All the time I struggled to see it. I made excuses believing him to be introverted, socially awkward, the victim of a difficult childhood etc etc. And worse, my fault.
Then I did begin to see it and I made excuses telling myself that divorce would be so hard and I’d end up poor and worse off than with him.
Then one day I did it. I left him and realised all the time I had stayed all I ever focused on was what I was giving up in terms of security etc. I couldn’t see at that time what I would gain from being away from him and I’d like to tell you all now what I have gained in the two years of being free:
Peace. The real peace of knowing there’s no atmophere, no eggshells and no looking fight.
Money. I have much less coming in but I actually end up with more of it for me.
Love. The love of friends and family who I can socialise with openly.
A future where I know I am free to make my decisions my plans and live my life free from the misery of life in an unhappy marriage.
It was hard but bloody hell it was and is worth it.