Would you say anything?

[Wishiwaswonderwoman87]

11 year old being allowed to stay up til 1am and 2am playing IPAD at grandparents?
By the time he comes back he's pale and tearful, moody and argumentative.

Contact is ExP parents.

Have asked them previously not to let him stay up so late... Every time they say they won't.

Should I just leave it?

Your child, your rules.

I understand they allowing him to stay up late as a treat, but 1am is unacceptable.

What time does he come back home?

Today we collected him mid afternoon.

It’s too late. How often is it? I would speak them direct and insist the iPad comes off him at 11pm if it’s a Friday or a Saturday.

Why isn’t at school?

Is it a regular occurrence?
Does your 11 year old realise how much it's affecting them and the general mood in the house when they're so tired?
Are the GP's turning a blind eye, actively encouraging or just leaving them to it and it's their choice?

Could you turn it into more of a discussion between you and your child about understanding one's own limits and that they can say no/take control?

Leave him there all day so they see his behaviour first hand.

I’d say no more overnight stays then. I am not experienced in dealing with the complexities of dealing with keeping ex in laws happy etc so I may well be unreasonable.
Could you have a chat to him and say why you have concerns about it? Don’t let him take it with him?

Your child, your rules

It's also the exp's child too. His rules apply when child is with him/his family.

I can understand your frustration though OP.

i would say no more overnights. Maybe give them one last chance but dont make it a threat just say he is struggling because of his tiredness and you normally remove ipad at X time so please could they do the same. Depends how often you have raised it before.

I'd have a word with the grandparents and also your son. I'd tell him that if he does it again the iPad will be disappearing or some other punishment. If it carries on I'd stop the overnights

If it's the odd one off during holidays and weekends I wouldn't bother about the late night.

My only concern would be how supervised is his internet use at 1/2am?

Can you just put screen time lock on the iPad and only you know the code. It will work wherever he is. No drive to stay up if the iPad is out of action.