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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be scared of a mortgage?

29 replies

PaintingOwls · 11/02/2019 17:59

This is a stupid, vicious circle that I seem to be walking in.

DP and I have saved up a deposit, we pick a location, explore the area, look at houses, see one we like, then go cold at the prospect of getting into £300k of debt for a 2 bedroom house or something.

It's always fine on paper, then when we are faced with the reality we just can't go ahead with it. We made one offer but then were outbid and quite frankly relieved.

I just don't know what to do. We're wasting money on rent. I don't know why I'm being so stupid. I can't face the thought of such high levels of debt but I am also sick of renting.

OP posts:
vickibee · 11/02/2019 18:04

It is scary, a big financial commitment, but you see your mortgage balance coming down year on year and your equity increasing. If you are young 25 years seems for ever. Good luck

Dragongirl10 · 11/02/2019 18:06

What should scare you far, far more is thinking about still renting when you are retired and on a lower income, think how high rents are likely to be then........then think of owning your own home mortgage free.

Bluelady · 11/02/2019 18:07

Don't think of it as a debt. It's an investment. Better to pay your mortgage than your landlord's.

Villanellesproudmum · 11/02/2019 18:07

You’re just renting off the bank rather than a landlord and eventually you pay it down and the balance of ownership tips in your favour.

Magmatic80 · 11/02/2019 18:08

Every month when my mortgage payment goes out, I think about the little extra slice of my very own house I just bought, rather than pouring money down the drain. Look at it like that!

C1rrus · 11/02/2019 18:10

You'll be paying for a roof over your head for the next 25, 30 years whether you rent or buy. Better to have that investment if you can. If you change your mind at any time you can sell up and go back to renting.

lidoshuffle · 11/02/2019 18:11

I remember standing by the postbox dithering whether to post the cheque to my solicitor for my first flat purchase. It was such a big, "grown up' and scary thing to do.

SO glad I did, that £25k (sic) flat got my on the property ladder and the first step of moving up. I'm now mortgage free with a property worth loads more than that initial £25k. Take the plunge, it really is worth it.

UncleBulgariasGiantPenis · 11/02/2019 18:11

I think with a mortgage, you should not think of it as a debt. Obviously it is a debt, but a controlled, manageable and totally acceptable one, and one that at the end of you will own a house. Renting probably costs similar to renting and you end up with nothing. Hence the reason never to put meals out/takeaways on a credit card - you have nothing to show for it 2 days later, but will still have to pay the bill at the end of the month.

C1rrus · 11/02/2019 18:11

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic by the way, £300k sounds a lot to someone like me who paid £40k for her first house only 16 years ago.

Unfinishedkitchen · 11/02/2019 18:12

But you’re still paying a mortgage if you rent, it’s just that it’s someone else’s. Better to pay off your own.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 11/02/2019 18:15

I was the same. Really liked renting because if anything broke it wasn't my responsibility and if we wanted to move we could.

We ended up buying a house in the end and our repayments are the same as our rent was but for a much nicer place.

However I still feel uneasy being a "home owner" - I do miss renting.

JassyRadlett · 11/02/2019 18:17

The debt is pretty meaningless, in reality.

Right now, you pay the landlord every month. You gain a roof over your head and nothing more.

If you buy, you pay the bank every month. You gain a roof over your head and a small proportion of ownership of your home.

If you rent, you will pay an increasing amount each month over the next 25 years, and have nothing at the end of it. You will have to keep paying increasing rents.

If you buy, you will pay around the same amount, depending on interest rates and your mortgage deal, each month for the next 25 years. At the end of it you will own the property outright and not have to pay for housing any more.

You need to remember you’re not only taking on the debt, you are acquiring an asset worth the same amount that will almost certainly (based on historical trends) increase in value in the medium term.

Purpleartichoke · 11/02/2019 18:18

It’s really not that much different than renting.

The one downside is that it is harder to move on a whim.

The biggest upside for me is that I control my home.
A huge perk is that it can make you money over time. We got lucky enough that our equity went up so much we were able to get a new much smaller mortgage. Even if the market ranks, our home will be paid off well before we want to retire at this point.

AnnabelleLecter · 11/02/2019 18:20

Perhaps you haven't found the right house you can imagine being your home yet?
We were scared too. This was the 90's and the mortgage was £40k! You'll look back and be glad you plucked up the courage.

OrcinusOrca · 11/02/2019 18:23

I felt scared when we bought our first house in 2015. Now I forget we have loads of debt because it's so 'normal' to have a big mortgage if you aren't in rented these days. We upsized and have an even bigger mortgage now, I was completely unphased this time!

Topseyt · 11/02/2019 18:23

How will what you pay in mortgage repayments compare each month to what you are paying in rent?

Sometimes mortgage repayments can be cheaper than renting, so you would be quids in. Even if it is similar or more, you are shaving off some of the capital every month and you own that bit more of your own house (and the bank that bit less). Providing you can pay the mortgage each month, you will have much more security that if you are renting. At present you are at the mercy of landlords, who might decide to sell etc.

It is easy to be scared by the debt level as the figures can seem huge, but if you are able to pay, or even overpay the monthly contributions you will be fine.

There is such a thing as good debt and bad debt. A carefully chosen mortgage that you can afford to pay, secured on a carefully chosen property is on the good end of the spectrum as the property is usually a good investment.

When you are renting you are almost certainly paying off someone else's mortgage each month and you will never own the property. They will. Far better to simply be paying off your own mortgage on your own property if you are fortunate enough to be able to get onto the property ladder these days.

AornisHades · 11/02/2019 18:35

Totally understand how you feel. When we bought a grown up house our mortgage trebled and it seemed such a stupid amount to owe.
It was totally the right thing to do. You will have something to show for it.

Andromeida59 · 11/02/2019 18:44

I was also nervous when we were taking out our first mortgage. We didn't want to go over £100k as it seemed like a lot (12 years ago), then two years ago we didn't want to get one for over 250. It can seem scary but it can be worth it. We're paying far less in a mortgage than we would in rent.

Funnyface1 · 11/02/2019 18:44

I couldn't be more different, I resented every month of renting. Now I've bought my own home and every payment is an investment in our future instead of a landlords.

BackforGood · 11/02/2019 18:44

It is a scary moment. However it isn't like a debt for a holiday or a new car that is never going to hold its value. You are buying an asset that, despite dips in the market (yes I sold at a massive loss in the 90s.... but bought my next house at what seemed a bargain price), long term is such a sensible thing to do.
When you are young, a 25 year debt seems like forever, but it goes in the blink of an eye, and you aren't sitting there in your 50s wondering how you are going to afford your rent once you retire.

Far better to be paying down your own mortgage, than your landlord's.

Disfordarkchocolate · 11/02/2019 18:52

After being in rented for nearly 5 years I thought I would be relieved to buy a house again. However, I have found having a mortgage again really stressful. I'm still glad I did it though, this house is mine. Just remortgaged and the payments will go down a lot and I think that will make me feel better.

pinknsparkly · 11/02/2019 18:55

I'd be more concerned if you weren't even a little bit nervous or worried about it! It's a huge commitment to make and one you need to think seriously about before doing. That said, I love our little place and the knowledge that one day it will all belong to us and no one can kick us out or make us move!

Mirime · 11/02/2019 19:10

I wish I'd been more worried tbh. Bought just before the crash, still have negative equity but now we need to sell and all our savings plus some more are going to be used up.

Singlenotsingle · 11/02/2019 19:19

Think of it as a savings plan, not a debt. You're putting money into a house and gradually paying it off. Fast forward 25 years and you've got a lump sum. If you rent, fast forward 25 years and you've got nothing except more rent to pay for the next 25 years., and probably much higher than it was initially

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/02/2019 23:04

You need to think about the alternative - which is paying rent forever. That’s fine if you want to do that, but are you hoping there’s better outcome still to come?

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