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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m not being a Scrooge about this leaving do

41 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 11/02/2019 14:18

An acquaintance is moving to Australia, we used to be quite close a while ago but over the last few years have drifted apart a bit, for context it was my birthday last week and they didn’t get in touch to wish me a happy birthday. I don’t mind but just for context that we aren’t mega close.

Another friend who is much closer to them is organising their leaving do. They have decided on Alton Towers.
I really really really hate roller coasters, and theme parks. I went to Alton towers a few years ago for a friends birthday and really didn’t enjoy the rides. I’d have been game for anything else but I really don’t want to go and pay however much it costs to get in. I’m one of the few people in this group of friends with a car so I suspect I’ll be pressured to drive people there.

The lady organising it is switching between making me out to be a misery guts or trying to convince me it will be fun anyway.
AIBU to use a mumsnet classic “no is a complete sentence” and not engage any further in it or am I being a bore Blush

OP posts:
Travis1 · 11/02/2019 14:19

YANBU. Not my idea of a fun get together either tbh.

SavoyCabbage · 11/02/2019 14:20

I wouldn’t go to a theme park if I didn’t like them even if I had a great relationship with the person. You’d be miserable.

Wolfiefan · 11/02/2019 14:21

So it’s really expensive day out to somewhere you’d hate? Why would you go?!

quirkychick · 11/02/2019 14:22

I really really hate roller-coasters too. I think it's your perfect excuse not to go. You won't find it fun, yanbu.

HeathRobinson · 11/02/2019 14:22

YANBU. It wouldn't be my cup of tea these days.

They can organise a minibus.

Sukochicha · 11/02/2019 14:24

I'm really not keen on theme parks. Thanks for asking me but I am not going to come. If you arrange something locally (like drinks or dinner) please do let me know.

ForalltheSaints · 11/02/2019 14:24

You don't want to be sick over anyone, do you? So just be clear you won't be going.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 11/02/2019 14:24

Of course you're not being a scrooge. Do you need MN help with compiling a no nonsense but polite message to the organiser?

greendale17 · 11/02/2019 14:24

Who organises a trip to Alton Towers for a leaving do????

Steamedbadger · 11/02/2019 14:25

Personally I would be there in a heartbeat, but if it's not your kind of thing and you're not that fussed about them then for goodness sake just say no.

2birds1stone · 11/02/2019 14:25

Why can people not accept that not everyone likes doing what they have planned and just leave them be. Yanbu. By all means arrange to meet for drinks or afternoon tea to wish them well but say no to spending £50 to queue up for nothing (we might be British doesn't mean you have to be a complete sheep)

No I won't be going.... have fun...

importantkath · 11/02/2019 14:25

You don't need to go. Send a card and offer your best wishes though

Sciurus83 · 11/02/2019 14:26

Oh god are they fourteen?! Can't they just go out for a meal like normal people?! No I don't think I would be going to that...politely decline, say you'll go for a drink before friend leaves

Sparklesocks · 11/02/2019 14:27

No, it’s very expensive for a leaving do! Most people opt for drinks because you can buy one soft drink if you’re skint and aren’t obliged to spend loads of money. Plus you have theme parks! You’d be bored all day or putting up with people pushing you to go on things.
You’re perfectly reasonable to push back.

purpleelk · 11/02/2019 14:28

What did you reply to her that makes her think you might want to go but just need some encouragement?

PutyourtoponTrevor · 11/02/2019 14:28

Nope, I wouldn't go to that either....you're probably right in that they want you to drive!

ShatnersWig · 11/02/2019 14:30

If you don't like it, don't go. Although as you know from having been there before, there are the gardens and the towers themselves plus some other things that don't involve going on rollercoasters.

WarpedGalaxy · 11/02/2019 14:30

Don’t engage any further, you’ve said no and that’s enough. You’re not a bore, you don’t like theme parks and you wouldn’t go on any rides, you’d basically be paying to spend most of the day alone while they’re all off thrillseeking. What’s the point of that?

onemouseplace · 11/02/2019 14:31

I wouldn't go either - who wants to spend over the odds to do something they don't enjoy? I'd make noises about meeting them after for drinks though, if that is their sort of thing.

Last time I did something like this it was for a friend's significant birthday and another friend suggested we go to an event and pay for her and her DH's tickets as her birthday present. I had never even heard of the act in question, friend booked top price tickets, it cost me an absolute fortune and because of the way friend had booked seats, I didn't even get to speak to my birthday friend that night - the whole evening cost me in excess of £200 in the end for something I didn't even want to do.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 11/02/2019 14:33

Purple I said I don’t like theme parks and to count me out!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 11/02/2019 14:35

YANBU, there is no way in the world you would get me paying £££ to go to a theme park, or another activity I wouldn't enjoy, even for someone I was close to.
You do enough of that malarky for your dc when they are little, I wouldn't start doing it for a 'person I used to be friendly with some time ago'

PutyourtoponTrevor · 11/02/2019 14:39

True ShatnersWig but would you pay £56 to go and look at some gardens?

onlyk · 11/02/2019 14:39

Most “leaving dos” are drinks in a local bar or lunch etc.

If someone organises something outside the norm then they should expect some people to opt out.

So it’s a No thanks but if you’re having drinks locally happy to go to that.

I find it hard to believe your friend won’t be having leaving drinks before she goes.

Isleepinahedgefund · 11/02/2019 14:41

I think if you arrange something expensive and/or so specific, you have to expect that a lot of people won't come. Same principle as hen do's.

What's wrong with a nice meal and a catch up? Why do they need rollercoasters to say goodbye?!!

cstaff · 11/02/2019 14:49

Also if it is just drinks in the local as normal - people can arrive and leave as and when suits them but if you go somewhere like Alton Towers (never mind the fact that you don't like it), the chances are there will fixed times to arrive and leave and you will be stuck there against your will for who knows how long.