to think sterlization shouldn't be offered 30 mins before a c-section?

[Seasiderabbit]

A hospital registrar came to visit me on her rounds 30 mins before I went into theatre for an elective c-section. I'd never met her before. (Some context - I decided to have the c-section the previous day in conjunction with a hospital consultant for very good reasons. I'd signed the consent forms and done the pre-op etc.

So, with 30 mins to go before going into theatre, the registrar questioned my decision to have a cesarean and told me how difficult it would be to have a future vaginal delivery. I told her that with 2 children already and age 40, we have decided not to have any moe children. She then said "So, what you are telling me, what you are trying to say, is that you want your tubes tying at the same time as your cesarean." I said that no, I did not want that. She then questioned me about what contraception I'd be using in future.

I was vulnerable - in a hospital gown and nervous before going into theatre. She was standing over me, her tone throughout was passive- aggressive and hectoring. It was also clear from a couple of things she said that she hadn't looked at my notes.

AIBU to think this is out of order? Isn't sterilization something you need time to think about with all the relevant pros and cons?

*planned ffs

But then, when I went into hospital a few hours earlier than planned as I went into labour, I had a registrar trying to persuade me not to go ahead with the c-section and to try for a vaginal delivery instead.

My best friend had a planned c-section booked because her baby was breech, she went into labour early. She went to hospital at 2 am and they said we aren't going to call the surgeon until the morning so your body can have a chance to labour naturally even though you will have a section in the morning.

As you can imagine my friend was not best pleased as, as she says what is the point of going through agony for hours to just have a caesarian anyway (plus it could have ended in emergency if things had happened quickly). Luckily her partner said no, get the surgeon in here now and she was delivered within an hour.

You told her that you didn't want any more children, so it doesn't seem that outrageous to me that it was offered tbh.

To add, sterilization wasn't offered or even mentioned by the consultant when I dediced to have a c-section in a meeting the day before. This was a long and productive meeting where we discussed all the birth options, the pros and cons and risks of each. I guess the consultant could have offered it at this point, but I believe her judgement was right in not offering it. I had enough to think about.

You told her that you didn't want any more children, so it doesn't seem that outrageous to me that it was offered tbh

It is outrageous because OP was saying, 'I don't want any more children in my life circumstances now'. In consultations about sterilisation you will be asked to think about whether you would want any more children if your life circumstances changed, such as all your children died (this happens, I know two people whose partners and children were killed in horrific accidents, and another whose entire family were killed when he was a child ). That is why decisions about sterilisation are not to be taken on the fly. You have to consider if you would always be happy with being sterilised in all situations.

Totally inappropriate YANBU

You told her that you didn't want any more children, so it doesn't seem that outrageous to me that it was offered tbh.

Of course it is, it's not something you decide in 30 minutes and I'd presume not something you'd decide without a lengthy chat with you husband either.

Happened to me. I had it done and then ds was v ill in nicu
They gave me NO verbal info NO written info about the procedure or alternative contraception
I was bullied. It was hell they kept saying I had to or id have more children and probably die the language used was almost threatening

I then had 5 years of ivf (5 cycles)and a reversal and had another baby

It was done to me 2 days prior as an inpatient I was v ill also had a uti and couldn’t think straight
Didn’t know till 18 months later what procedure they’d even done !

Sounds like she wanted to do it. Complain but I doubt anything will happen from it, drs are well protected

Thanks for this @greybluegeometry - very helpful.

I'm applying for a copy of my maternity notes now to see what record there is of her visit. It did feel like a hard sell and that's really not good at all.

I think it is a bit wrong to offer it right before your operation. It’s not really enough time to consider and also my consultant told me there is a 1 in 200 chance of sterilisation not working when done during a c section.

I was very surprised they offered it to me in my upcoming section as I’m in my very early 20s.

I said no the first time they asked and the dr wrote
‘Patient does NOT want sterilisation’
The next day they carried on bullying

Well, besides that, 30 minutes before I went into labour I may have told you...
I will never have another baby
I will never have sex again
I won't need my old sling because I will definitely get the hang of putting this baby down to sleep
I will definitely take up yoga and whip this body back into shape the moment this baby launches
And all sorts of crazy shit you think 30 minutes before your life changes completely with a new baby.

Cynical me thinks said registrar needed an extra sterilisation for their portfolio. However it was IMO wholely inappropriate and insensitive given the registrar steered the conversation in the direction and as others have said its not a decision to be taken likely.

No I don’t think that is okay at all.

30 minutes before a c section? It’s a huge operation and I remember having to listen to my hypnosis tapes and cuddle my husband at least an hour before.

The time to have raised it was when you decided to go for the op. At least 24 hours before.

Massively unreasonable timing and the way you describe it sounds quite aggressive too. I would be inclined to complain.

A friend of mine was sterilised during a c-section last year. She was due dc no5, early 40s and had complication during her 4th and 5th pregnancy. Doctors had advised her not to have more children. She came in due to reduced movements at 34 weeks and they kept her in and scheduled a section for the next day. She was obviously stressed and worried and when they asked her in the morning if they should also tie her tubes she said yes. She really regrets it now. Its not that she wants more children necessarily, she just feels she was rushed into the decision and actually got quite depressed over it.

I checked after what happened to me and you are meant to be given verbal AMD written info on the procedure itself plus alternative contraception so you can make an informed choice
I didn’t even know if I’d had clips or tubes cut etc till a year and a half later I cried at an appt and they looked up the notes and histology report
I’d had my tubes cut burnt and tied I was devastated. I still cannot believe how Lucky I was they could be repaired after all that

Actually, given that you had just said you didn't want anymore, I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest or ask if you'd also like that procedure.

THIS ^

At 35 weeks I was scanned in emergency for a bleed. Penciled in for a emcs 4 hours later.
I was bullied - no other word for it - into agreeing to tubed tied. I refused.
After ds was delivered and I was in recovery, my consultant came round and apologised on whoever it was behalf. Offered assistance in making a complaint if I felt that appropriate. I didn't as it happened as ds being prem was my priority. It was out of order imo though..

YANBU

Pay more tax and then your NHS doctors won't be so harried and rushed and they'll have time to do the nicey-nicey thing in plenty of time.

Seriously, if people didn't always vote against raised taxes then we might have services which treat delicate flowers like delicate flowers. As it is, we want to be treated like hothouse plants while only paying for hardy annuals.

If you went in and asked for a sterilisation when you weren't pregnant they'd never give it to you in a million years and make you have coils instead.

How utterly bizarre, I asked to be sterisised at the same time as c-section and was refused for a myriad of resons, notwithstanding they rarely will because your reproductive orgams, all of them, are slightly swolen and the clips have a habit of coming away from the fallopion tubes after the swelling subsides

Things must have changed