To think I might never sleep again

[Mandraki]

Semi lighthearted, but my daughter who is 17 months old has probably not slept through the night since November. Over Christmas we had a nightmare with her sleep, 2 hours of screaming each night. Sort of calmed down afterwards but still waking every night, sometimes has milk sometimes just a cuddle but always waking. Last night was a new record, she was awake for 4+ hours (stopped looking at the time after a while). We try and keep it boring and dont play or anything in the night, and I dont go to her immediately and will leave her to whinge for a while in between each time I go to her, never let her become distressed though. Just at the end of my tether, someone tell me it gets better?

We dont cosleep and have no intention of (not a road I want to go down, plus she is so wriggly i doubt it would mean anyone got any sleep)

I may be in a minority but at this point I would be looking at sleep training before she gets too much older. Good sleep is essential for her as well as you and four hours awake is awful for you all. I have a vey poor sleeper too, currently much too little for any training (4 months) but I think I will definitely go down that route around a year if needed. I understand it isn't for everyone though. I just think if you get to 2+ years it will be much harder to tackle when she is in a bed and that much older and more ingrained with poor sleep. I really feel for you, you must be exhausted.

Does she sleep during the day? It could be that it isn't enough or too much.
Does it get worse through developmental phases?
Could you get her a soft toy to keep her company, if she doesn't have one?

I think you need to take action tbh.

Sleep train or get a sleep consultant in. If you want things to change I would advise you to try a new approach.

I think you need to put a plan in place before you keel over.

I post my experience every time one of these posts come up - so here it is - I hope it’s useful.

My son was 14 months when I realised we couldn’t continue. We co-slept and he was still breastfeeding and I was working full time so exhausted. I took a week off to get him into his own bed, off the breast, and sleeping through the night.

I did controlled crying for three nights before he got it - basically cried for 2 hours the first night, 15 mins the second and on the third he’d got it and lied down and went to sleep on his own. CC just meant for me I’d go in and shush him at five minute intervals but not talk and not take him out. I think I extended the intervals every so often as well.

Good luck!

What I forgot to mention is that this was in a cot in his own room which I think definitely helps.

Yes I definitely think we need a plan, we said in the night we are going to have to do some sleep training, just bite the bullet and have a few nights of hell until she gets it. Cant go on like this! I think what we need is consistency, with a plan, rather than just giving milk sometimes and cuddles sometimes etc etc.
She does sleep well in the day, will have a good long 2 hour nap around 11 if at home and maybe 30 mins later on if her nap was short or early. Doesnt nap well at childminders (only there 2 days a week) but doesnt seem to make a difference to night sleep. She is an otherwise lovely girl, no problems in the day, so sweet and cheeky and lovely, it breaks my heart how much of a pain she is at night at the moment because I feel so angry and stressed at night (I never ever shout at her or get cross really though, though husband has raised his voice a couple of times which I always think is pointless as it just makes her cry more and he always feels bad after) and then I feel guilty in the morning.

Yes defo need to sort it before she is in a bed

Booked a phone call with a sleep consultant for Friday night, going to bite the bullet!