Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Bedroom sharing

25 replies

glub · 10/02/2019 22:50

Aibu to think that it is inappropriate for a boy aged 8 and girl aged 10, who are not related and have known each other for less than a year, to be forced to share a bedroom one night every two weeks?

OP posts:

Biscusting · 10/02/2019 23:19

I’m not sure, how do the children feel about it? Is it short term or likely to be a permanent set up?

Lovingbenidorm · 10/02/2019 23:23

No, I don’t think it’s appropriate or fair to either of them.
Is this the result of a breakup?
None of my kids would have been happy with this at those ages

wigglypiggly · 10/02/2019 23:25

What are the circumstances and is there an alternative solution, can one sleep in the lounge.

Redshoeblueshoe · 10/02/2019 23:27

No it's not fair or appropriate

Dothehappydance · 10/02/2019 23:27

It isn't ideal, however which child is yours and have they voiced that they feel forced to do so or is that your interpretation?

Moving forward the 10 yr old really needs somewhere separate especially if she will soon be 11.

Is there any alternatives that could be suggested?

Ghanagirl · 10/02/2019 23:30

Gosh I think some parents put their wants before their children’s needs it’s incredibly selfish.

Original poster

glub · 10/02/2019 23:38

The boy is my ds. He'd rather share with his elder sister who has the other bedroom, and who used to room swap regularly to accommodate the girl but this is no longer allowed. He is scared to sleep in this other room for some reason so won't swap rooms with his sister. He has asked to sleep on the sofa but is not allowed. He's unhappy with the arrangement as he doesn't sleep well with this girl in the room, as she wakes up very early. The girl is his dad's girlfriend's daughter and isn't even supposed to be living there.

OP posts:

Original poster

glub · 10/02/2019 23:39

...So he has suggested that his dad's girlfriend and daughter just go back to their own house for that night's sleep but is told this is not an option

OP posts:

Bobbycat121 · 10/02/2019 23:40

havent you posted about this before??

starzig · 10/02/2019 23:43

YABU. Totally fine at that age. You say not related, but they must have some link to be in that situation. If it is different kids through breakup and remarriage, we still call that family in our household.

Dothehappydance · 10/02/2019 23:43

Ok. I think his Dad is being totally and utterly unreasonable, he should be prioritising his son over his gf.

What is your relationship like with him? Would he listen to you? (Though I am guessing not)

Original poster

glub · 10/02/2019 23:44

Don't think so

OP posts:

Original poster

glub · 10/02/2019 23:50

Their dad listen to me? Haha no

OP posts:

Bobbycat121 · 10/02/2019 23:52

sorry must have mixed you up with another
posted who posted a similar thread a little while back.

Bluelady · 10/02/2019 23:57

Maybe your son could refuse to go unless he can share with his sister.

EdtheBear · 10/02/2019 23:57

Why aren't his sister and the other girl sharing?

Pumpkintopf · 11/02/2019 00:05

His father is being very inconsiderate. He should certainly be allowed to share with his sibling if this is what he prefers.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 11/02/2019 00:11

Why is he scared to sleep in the other room and why is he no longer being allowed to share with his sister who he, obviously, feels more comfortable with?

I used to hate my bed being a certain way in my room as it meant I could see down the hall and I was scared of the darkness. I didn't shut my door at night because it was a rather small room so bit claustrophobic with the door shut. If it's something like that, could he sleep the wrong way round on the bed when he's there?

SerendipityReally · 11/02/2019 00:16

He shouldn't have to fight this.

What's the situation with your daughter? Is she refusing to share with brother or gf's daughter?

Original poster

glub · 11/02/2019 00:16

Edthebear - yes this would seem the most logical option and I have mentioned it. Presumably it's because he is scared to go in room 2 (he would rather be on the sofa or share with his sister than be in that room alone, and he hates sharing with his sister!) and the bunk bed is in room 1... Well that's led me to an idea; I will suggest the bunk bed be moved!

Blue lady - an option if nothing else works but I wonder then how appropriate is it for ds and dd10 to share once every two weeks? Less bad I suppose but they are getting to that age...

OP posts:

Original poster

glub · 11/02/2019 00:20

Dd doesn't want to share a room either but would rather share with her brother than the noisy early waker.

Themobile I will discuss that with him, thanks hopefully it's something like that so it's easily sorted

OP posts:

Original poster

glub · 11/02/2019 00:32

I just don't get why this is even an issue when their dad's gf and daughter have their own place to live a matter of minutes away :( they could go home to sleep and be back for breakfast! And if they did move in together they could easily afford a four bedroom home

OP posts:

purplepigs · 11/02/2019 01:27

He obviously doesn't want his gf to go back to her own place and then come back in the morning. He should put his son first.

I dated someone who had a child and she thought it was okay for her children to be woken halfway through the night to visit me and then then wake him up to leave again..... I didn't agree with keep waking him. Although that was only one thing.

People don't always put their children first

People like to display they do but in reality they don't

I think you and ur son should stand ur ground and say that he will not be staying until he is comfortable where he is sleeping.

mrsm43s · 11/02/2019 07:59

Very obviously, the two girls should sleep together, and the boy on his own. An 8 year old boy can't dictate whether his dad's girlfriend and daughter are allowed to stay over, when there is adequate space, but he is refusing a particular room. I'd say he has two choices, the current arrangement, or staying in the other room.

anniehm · 11/02/2019 08:04

The girls share - sounds like it's only a temporary situation because the girlfriend will either properly move in (and they may move) or the relationship will fizzle.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread