Trusting partner with baby

[MelissaHoney22]

Don't even know how to write this..my baby is nearly 4 months old. I cant trust my partner to care for him for long periods of time. When I'm at home he has shouted at the baby for crying. Sometimes leaving him wherever he is or if he does pick him up if he doesn't call down straight away or doesn't calm to "watch tv".
Partner ignore him if he is playing on his phone or watching tv. When i ask him to see to the baby I just get negative comments. Or he says to the baby shut up there's nothing wrong with you.
He left him in his chair/bouncer without straps done up.
When he has been screaming he just put him up in cot as he says he can't stand the screaming.
I feel I cant go back to a work in a couple of months on nights as he has never woke for baby when he cries in the night even when i had woke him he says shut up you deal with him.
I dont know what to do? I think baby's needs won't be met. Any advice? I am also considering leaving

He sounds like an abusive arsehole. He shouts at a baby? And if you split, which I would encourage, if he can't be arsed to engage with your baby or do any of the care now, what are the chances he's going to step up and do it by himself, slim to highly unlikely I'd say. You (and your baby) can do better.

Shouting at the baby, not securing the bouncer, letting the baby cry to the point of upset when baby has a hernia is abusive. You are not being unreasonable in not wanting him to be alone with baby.

Aside from this you have also talked about wanting to leave him when you were pregnant and he behaved awfully locking you out and is talking about court.

You are clearly saying you want him to have a relationship with his child but sitting watching telly having no interaction is not meaningful interaction.

If you do decide to leave your relationship contact a domestic violence charity who will help you safely exit the relationship as well as helping you gain impartial advice about contact arrangements.

He doesn't sound like a good father or supportive partner. Do what you feel is best for your child and you.

As for pp that says 4 months isn't ling and give him a chance... I disagree. You have discussed this with your partner already and he hasn't changed. He doesn't help in any way. Things will only get more difficult when baby is mobile and there needs to be a lot more interaction and management if baby's safety. Can you trust him to tear him himself from his phone or telly when baby is rolling about or exploring a room.

Speak to your health visitor again. Especially about his behaviour when you were pregnant. This shows that he hasn't changed.

Bloody hell that sounds horrendous for you and the baby. I don’t blame you for not trusting him. I’m appalled with respect to putting the baby into a bouncer without straps, I mean how bloody stupid and lazy!

Would he really likely fight you for access? The reality is taking care of a baby is hard work. Will he really want that? You’re better off without him.