Friend

[Englishgal]

I’m new here having a hard time and don’t know if I’m in the wrong:

I met a mum about a year ago. She was a friend of a friend and we became quite close. Our babies are similar ages and we went out a lot. At the time she was having issues with her husband and the Rship broke down.

I know it’s been a difficult time for her adjusting to single life. She stayed here lots, we had dinner together and took the kids out. I tried so hard to support her. Since about September we haven’t seen as much of each other. I put it down to work and kids and her situation. Recently I’ve seen she’s been on lots of nights out. She’s had playsates and not invited my wee one. I’m organising a night out and I haven’t invited her. I feel like I’m in the wrong but I also feel like why should I invite her when she hasn’t invited me? She completely blanked my husband last week at the shop too and he was quite pissed off. I don’t know if I’m out of order or I should move on and try to establish new friend groups?

YANBU. If she's backed off from you it's fine not to invite her. On the other hand if she was previously a good friend I'd probably make one last attempt to speak to her openly and honestly.

That sounds quite hurtful; I’m not good at leaving things alone so I think I would have to message just to find out if/why she’s upset with me or if there’s some other explanation

You only met her a year ago. Seems like she has moved on now that she's single and maybe looking for a different kind of friend now that she's got the support she needed from you. She's shallow. You're as well to steer clear. Don't feel bad for not inviting her out.

Thanks- I kind of want to message her but a stubborn part of me thinks no. I’ve been nothing but a really good friend and feel she’s massively let me down husband says move on and i probably will but it has knocked my confidence. I find it hard to make friends and now it’s taken me back to being at school and feeling lonely. And I actually feel annoyed at myself for feeling like that!

In her defence maybe you remind her too much of a rubbish time in her life. Sometimes easier to move on without the ones who bore the brunt.
When I split with exh it was nice to be around people who didn't know my problems sometimes.
Sorry that's awful though when you have obviously been a fab friend.

I tried to be I really did. I’m very shy and find it hard to connect with people but I’m very loyal and a good friend. Hoping I’ll be able
To make new friends and move on because we kind of move in the same circles and now I dont really want to be hanging out when she’s around. It feels like being back at school and its seriously pissing me right off