Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with irresponsible dog owners

55 replies

TheClaifeCrier · 10/02/2019 17:27

More of a rant really.

I live in a national park. I have two kids and no dogs. We spend a lot of time hiking etc. Both my kids have developed a fear of dogs because over the years numerous dog owners have allowed their massive dogs to run up to the kids, which is pretty scary when the dog is bigger than you.

Anyway, we've worked on their fear, reassured them that the dogs are just being friendly etc, spent time with dogs of friends and family. Both are generally now fine, if a little nervous.

Today when out for a walk by a lake a dog came up and jumped at my three year old daughter, putting its paws on her head. Luckily for her she was wearing a hat so didn't get scratched.

The owners were sat on a nearby bench and were pretty slow to react. I picked up my daughter who was screaming and it continued to jump up at her whilst I held her. It was only once I walked away that the owners got it under control.

We later saw them shouting for their other dog who was running madly around the woods, totally ignoring them.

AIBU to think that if you can't control your dog it should be on a lead in a public place? We were lucky my daughter wasn't scratched or pushed over into the freezing cold lake.

She has since been talking about it and said she doesn't want to go back to the lake because of the scary dog. All our work into calming her fears and once again we have to start at the beginning because of an irresponsible owner. I'm so fed up with it. The national park is very popular with dog owners so there is no escaping it.

OP posts:
havingtochangeusernameagain · 10/02/2019 17:39

AIBU to think that if you can't control your dog it should be on a lead in a public place

No. But many dog owners will tell you you are being unreasonable to expect them to control your dogs, and why aren't you parenting your child properly to stop them being scared etc etc.

Actually the law is to keep your dog(s) under control so do it.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 10/02/2019 17:39

their dogs not yours!

lilpeach · 10/02/2019 17:39

I think your fear of the dogs hurting your children is imprinting on them. Dog's are off-lead and around children in millions of scenarios every day, and the occurrence of a dog hurting a child is extremely minimal. I think your worries are a little OTT. You can teach your children to have more confidence around animals for their sakes at least. I know I'm grateful that I was taught from a young age how to handle and direct dogs and animals in general, firmly saying NO when needed etc. Unfortunately for your daughter it seems the damage is done, and thats not the dogs fault either. It's yours.

Original poster
TheClaifeCrier · 10/02/2019 17:45

lilpeach where on earth did I express a fear of dogs hurting my children? They have become fearful because of so many incidents of strange dogs running up to them in the past. It is scary when a creature bigger than you bounds up to you. At no point did I think the dog today was going to bite her, but I picked her up to comfort her because she was so upset.

Let me guess, you're a dog owner with no qualms about letting your little darling run up to small children. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
TheClaifeCrier · 10/02/2019 17:46

havingtochangeusernameagain it didn't take long for one such owner to appear. Apparently I'm the one with the fear Hmm

OP posts:
Sabby321 · 10/02/2019 17:58

OP, I am totally with you. Your explanation is totally rational and it sounds as though you have worked really hard on your children's fears. I'm so sorry you're back to square one. As a dog owner it is only fair that we are responsible for how our dogs behave!

Good luck working through your children's fears again; sadly with so many dog owners not willing to realise or deal with the fact that they have so little control over their pets I genuinely hope you are not confronted with this again any time soon. There are so many responsible owners and the irresponsible few do so much to tarnish the rest of us Thanks

FaFoutis · 10/02/2019 18:04

YANBU
My daughter is scared of dogs because of idiots like that. I'm not in the least scared of them and have owned dogs over the years. My daughter's fear is not from me, it is rational response to out of control dogs.

PinkGin24 · 10/02/2019 18:05

Of course owners shouldn't let their dogs jump up at others - I say rhat as a dog owner and get really annoyed when other peoples dogs jump up (mainly because it gets my clothes muddy!).

Totally disgaree with you though about it being a problem about a dog just running upto/near your child. It doesn't mean it isn't under control, just means there is no need for the owner to recall it - it isn't doing anything wrong.

Brigante9 · 10/02/2019 18:08

Totally agree with you, OP, although in my case, it’s out of control dogs running up to my fearful one. Pisses me right off. He gets scared, I get stressed and annoyed. If I hear ‘It’s ok, he’s friendly’ one more time, I might scream! Mine never jump up or run at other dogs or people because I taught them not to. It’s called being a responsible owner.

Wolfiefan · 10/02/2019 18:08

YANBU.
I have a dog.
Too many people think their dog being “friendly” is a good thing. Their dog needs to be calm and have good manners around people. No dog should even approach you without an invitation. And as for jumping up? Never ok. Ever.
By law dogs should be under control in public. If a dog is young or new to the owner it should be on a lead or longline.
Hope your LO is ok. Both mine were scared of dogs. Books and films and soft toys and a visit to a Dogs Trust talk all helped.

Niffler25 · 10/02/2019 18:15

YANBU at all and I speak as someone who has a large dog (Alaskan malamute). Dogs should not be off lead if they approach other dogs or people without permission, especially if they have poor manners and will jump up! My dog is old now and the amount of bouncy, poorly trained dogs who come charging up and bounce all over him really irritates me (especially when they don't apologise!). My DS adores dogs and has been around large breeds since birth but he would be upset if a big dog jumped on or charged at him.

Chottie · 10/02/2019 18:15

YANBU

OP - I feel for you and your LO.

I am an adult woman and I hate untrained, undisciplined dogs jumping up at me, putting mud and saliva on my clothes and laddering my tights....

The owners always say 'he's just being friendly'. But I just do not want any dog jumping up at me. Is that so unreasonable?

SleepDeprivedCabbageBrain · 10/02/2019 18:16

Yanbu!! Here in the city it’s the epic tide of dog shite that I object to.

adelias · 10/02/2019 18:16

I have two dogs, of course those owners were being unreasonable. Unfortunately the world is full of twats and some of them own dogs.

vampirethriller · 10/02/2019 18:16

I'm with you. I have a little dog who's always on the lead in the park because she's deaf. Other dogs make her nervous. So many people just smile whilst their dog runs up to us. They don't have any way of knowing why my dog is on a lead- she could be nasty for all they know. I've also got a baby in a pram and really don't want mastiffs and staffies (they're mostly that type of dog where I live, or husky type) jumping at the dog beside us. I was knocked over by an American bulldog while I was pregnant and the owner just told me the dog was playing. There's a dog walker who looks after 7 dogs and lets them all run up to other dogs. 7 big dogs running at my Jack Russell and baby is not pleasant but she gets nasty if I ask her to call them back!

bruce43mydog · 10/02/2019 18:18

i am a dog owner and i wouldnt let my dogs near kids cause i wouldnt want the child to be fearful. its common sense

the same as i would expect parents to control there offspring in public.

was in the supermarket today and kids are as bad as dogs running in front of trolleys nearly getting run over

child or dog its always best to keep a eye on where they are

so no you are right to expect you child to not be frightened.

Karigan195 · 10/02/2019 18:23

It pisses other dog owners off too. My dog loves people but is very ‘noisy’ around other dogs. In 11 years he’s never hurt another dog but I don’t risk it so when other dogs are around on the lead he goes.

This is a dog that walks to heel through my grandads sheep fields and always recalls but I just don’t take the risk.

However everywhere we go people just let their dogs run right up to him whilst he’s on a short lead st heel. Which leads to lots of noise from him and complaints from them. 🤷‍♀️

goodwinter · 10/02/2019 18:23

"AIBU to think that if you can't control your dog it should be on a lead in a public place" That's the law, right?

It's been just over a week since we got our dog and already we've had two off-lead dogs run straight at ours, who was on a lead. I've also seen a remarkable amount of dog shit just sitting on grass where nobody has bothered to pick it up. YANBU.

Ihaveabloodyheadache · 10/02/2019 18:24

YANBU

I don't know why there's this attitude that you should learn to deal with it from some dog owners, then they don't have to be arsed controlling their dogs.
And I love dogs, have two, yup I've had a couple of incidents where my dog has caused an issue through accident falling flat on my face in the mud and accidentally let go but I have apologised profusely, and accept it's actually my responsibility to keep the dog under control. I'm just lucky that the people she ran up to were pissing themselves laughing saw the funny side and grabbed the lead for me.
I have a horse, a bloody big one. He's friendly and loves people, and will ransack pockets for treats and rub his head and dribble green slime on people. I think I may start just letting him wander up to these types of people and shrug saying he's just being friendly, doesn't matter if you're scared or don't like horses - learn to deal with it.

goodwinter · 10/02/2019 18:25

Totally disgaree with you though about it being a problem about a dog just running upto/near your child. It doesn't mean it isn't under control, just means there is no need for the owner to recall it - it isn't doing anything wrong.

It becomes a problem when the dog makes contact by jumping up at/on a child, as in the OP.

anatol · 10/02/2019 18:25

YADNBU
I say that as a dog owner. People should not allow their dogs to be off lead if they do not have solid recall. Dogs shouldn't be allowed to approach or hassle unknown people or other dogs or animals regardless of how friendly someone thinks their dog is, there are plenty of reasons why other people would not want their 'friendly' dog approaching them/their child/their own dog. I'm currently on a campsite with my dog, the campsite has an 'on-lead' policy but every dog I have seen except one has been running around off lead. It's so thoughtless.

Karigan195 · 10/02/2019 18:26

It wasn’t under control if it’s jumping up at a kid.

Karigan195 · 10/02/2019 18:29

@Ihaveabloodyheadache

I came up jumping at a show once and my horse ran off. Found him pinning a guy to his car and stealing his sandwiches. I was mortified!

AMLadvice · 10/02/2019 18:31

and the occurrence of a dog hurting a child is extremely minimal

I'll leave this here for you @lilpeach Hmm
dog attacks

Arnoldthecat · 10/02/2019 18:36

Yes, im sick to death of irresponsible dog owners. The ones that shit everywhere,the ones who hang shit bags on trees/fences/bushes, the ones who let their cur run free and dont care who it harrasses/jumps up on, the ones who open their front door to me with some vicious cur barking behind the door..