Are you happy? If so why?

[sweetmarie]

Posting here for traffic mostly. I've seen a lot of posts lately on here about cheating husbands and difficult relationships, hard times and other things. I've been surrounded by this a lot in RL lately too. Friends whose marriages are breaking down, people crippled by debt and overworked, overtired, arguing over childcare and household chores ect.

I think I've got it good with dp and we have a good life. But everybody around us seems to be either instagram perfect or having a really really horrible time.

I just wanted to hear from people who have all the usual juggles but have a happy relationship or happy life, and why they feel happy, what they value or let go to sustain that.

Despite having had a difficult few years with close family loss, health issues and dealing with house flood:
What makes me happy on these grey Feb days is -
Walking and seeing snowdrops
Being glad I'm fit to walk and see
Planning to have pots of herbs for summer
Having a home
Lighting a fire and cosy up
A good book - doesn't matter what you read but do like a murder mystery to take my mind of things.
Funny its the simple things that make me content - not days out or anything Is it Just Me?

I'm happy.

I love my husband, love our children, love my friends and our community, love my work and the people I work with (and am confident I do a good job, and have achieved some level of success)- and while we are by no means rich, we own our (tiny) house and live within our means, and save a bit each month, so there's never any (or at least much) financial stress.

Also, DS is currently being treated for Leukaemia. We're two years into treatment, and I think it has changed my perspective in some ways: I literally see life as a gift. And I know that I want to be remembered for being a good parent, for being kind, good, honest etc. - rather than, say, being remembered for being successful, or stunningly beautiful. And so that is what I concentrate on - along with eating healthily, exercising, trying to maintain a good balance between work and family life, so that I can be all those things.

And I try really hard never to compare myself or my children to others. For comparison is the thief of joy....

I have now realised that this all sounds really smug. It's not meant to. And there are sacrifices that have been made to achieve this: holidays with friends we haven't been on, because we can't afford it, I would probably be enjoying a more prolific career and earning more if DS had not been diagnosed with cancer - but it transpires that dialling it back was really good for all of us - I love being able to go on school trips with both children etc,, and I don't miss the international travel that my role used to involve. So....

Also I think some people just are happy. I've basically nearly always been happy.

LukaeLucky I'm so pleased to hear you are home. I hope all continues to go well post-transplant.

I'm happy

I've had some awful years to get through that needed to recover from and lots of depression as a result of those dark times

I got through the bad times with help from great friends , pets that needed me to be reliable , work that kept me busy , time , and a strong personal character .

Now I'm on the other side and really happy , I think my basic disposition is one that sees the better things and wants to be happy

I remember one convo with a friend when we were discussing how our separate days had gone in the bad times and I said mine day had been a bit boring and nothing much had happened , she replied with sometimes boring is good in fact it's a bit of a luxury as at least it wasn't bad , but boring you can deal with - how true that was !

I'm very happy.Dont want to jinx it,but after many years of ups and downs I truly know what makes me content.We used to earn a lot more,had a bigger house but as DH and I approach retirement we lead a simpler life and I love it.Im older,wiser and have realised some friends were energy sappers and not true friends.The ones we have be are gems.
I love my home,adult DCs and DGC.I love my dogs and walking.I love my garden.We have enough to eat well.We holiday far less,but chilling at home feels like a holiday.I have had some very bleak periods in the past.Makes feeling happy now feel well earned and precious.

@Puffykins thanks a lot and best of luck to your son in his treatment. I wish you strength and courage. Its tough for the people going through treatment but we tend to forget how hard it is for the friends and family too.
Going through this definitely made me appreciate life more as you said. And people have been incredibly helpful and supportive while I was away: arranging playdate for my LOs, organising their bd party, bringing me food to hospital...
people I barely knew but who had children in my children's classes just looked out for us and I'm forever grateful for this.

I mean at this precise moment I have the flu so I’m not running around the-hills-are-alive-with-the-sound-of-music happy, but in general I’m very happy with my life.

I love my partner, I love our daughter and think she’s the best, cutest, most hilarious baby ever (obv biased), I’m studying a course I’m really passionate about and I have a good group of friends. We don’t have much money but we get by and we don’t have any debt.

I’ve suffered from PTSD and depression in the past so I really try to take the time to enjoy things now that my mental health is better.

@LeukaeLucky thank you. I think we are given the opportunity to see the best in people, too, when something like this happens - the community that rallies around. And I find that majorly life affirming and very special - I feel like I discovered that the meaning of life is to be the best that I can be, and to be good to others as they have been to me.

Anyway, here's to surviving Leukaemia .... XX.

I’m mostly happy. I have a few traumas that are still with me but I am mostly a glass half full kind of girl. I have an amazing family, a good job, comfortable, have a roof over my head, full fridge, a warm bed and an amazing partner, soon to be husband, that I’ve been with for years and love very much. I feel like everything will be okay once we have each other, and I can’t wait for what the rest of our lives has to bring.

I am happy.

My dh is a pita at times. But I love him very much, we are friends as much as husband and wife and we have a laugh together just the 2 of us.

My 2 dcs are good kids. Dd is 14. Very bright and focused and beautiful and kind. But also ditzy and dizzy, usual teenage laziness about chores and flounces about silly things but never really been a moments bother. Ds is 5. Absolutely hilarious. Tidied his room today and announced it was 'a thing of beauty mummy, just look at it'. He's a happy little soul.

We have some debts I would love to see the back of. And as dh is in construction it will be nice to finally work out if the market is going to blip post brexit. I work from home, self employed and just starting to branch out into other things so am excited about that.

We have had some tough years. We have been on the bones of our arse skint. Dh has had 2 serious illnesses. We have lost family members and also has some serious illnesses (cancer) in the family.

We are busy and it can get hectic sometimes. But generally I am happy. I am very lucky that my mental health is pretty robust and I can usually see a way out of problems. Definetly not instaperfect though. I am too fat, don't wear enough, if any make up. My house is clean but chaotic and untidy at times. Dd and ds are instaperfect though if I was any good at photoshopping the chaos out of the background.

Yes I'm happy. I have a lovely husband, wonderful children, great family and friends. We are comfortable financially (finally) and our health is not too bad.

It's not perfect of course and in all honesty I've only been properly happy for the year or so. I was happy before that but there was a lot of stress - the insecurity and family issues of my teen years, awful financial difficulties from early 20's to mid 30''s, terrible anxiety which plagued me from 23 to 35, DS's many issues and eventual ASD diagnosis, DDs bullying at school, DHs very stressful job etc etc. But for now we have a lull and I'm enjoying it immensely (of course I'm aware it could change at any moment!).

I’m happy. I’ve always tried to be a positive person and look on the bright side of situations. This has really helped me through some tough times and I’ve survived!

2018 was a great year with a new baby and my sons health improving drastically. I’m incredibly grateful for everything and everyone that I have. I appreciate my husband, he’s also still so sexy to me! We’ve no debts but will have a very overwhelming house renovation next year that we can’t afford. I try to stay in the ‘now’

Every night I think of the good parts of the day and plan something nice for the next day - usually something with the kids.

I’m happy, tired but happy

I am happy all the time. Pretty much regardless of what's going on. I think it's because I'm a positive person, very optimistic. So, I might do something that someone else finds dreary, say cleaning the house, but I enjoy it - pottering around with the radio on. Or say the school run, there's lots of posts on here about how awful it is; I enjoy it, I talk to my friends, enjoy the river as I walk over it etc.

Yes. I have grumpy days especially when PMTbut I’m very pleased with my lot overall. I’m a simple creature. DH is a good man, I wouldn’t want anyone else and we love our daughter and our cat
His family live very near us and they are nice. I also have a good team at work and these two things really help I think.
I’m part time so I have a good work life balance
DD is old enough that I can enjoy hobbies/exercise
I’ve lost 1.5 stone ish since summer so I’m really feeling great!

I would call it more at peace with my life now more than ever. Things could always be better but I'm managing