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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what your backstabbing experiences are?

3 replies

Monkeypuzzle2019 · 10/02/2019 11:56

So several years ago I was working for a company for about 5 years at the time. A vacancy has arisen in my team and due to a very bad experience with a temporary employee who was doing a maternity cover, we wanted to make sure we choose the right person. The vacancy hasn’t been advertised outside the company, so we tried first to recruit within our office or local sister companies. During that time the sister of one of my good friends has been made redundant and was struggling to find a very similar position at the right salary. I didn’t know her very well, just met her a few times before. I passed the info to her and she though she might be interested although she was a bit more experienced than the position in question and salary was on the lower side. She got in touch with HR, she got an interview and I was in the first interview panel. All good, we thought she did well and offered her a second interview with our big boss. She liked her, however my ‘friend’ wasn’t happy with the salary so, after a bit of discussion with my boss, they decided to offer her a higher salary. I was thrilled for her and very happy I’m getting a friendly face in my team in an otherwise very stressful environment. She started straight away and I was in charge of her training as I did that role for a few years before. All was going ok for a few weeks and then she started being very ‘political’. She knew all the gossip from the company, started hiding things from me, started going through my reports behind my back and a few months later during my 2 week holiday she was getting in touch with various consultants that I was dealing with without keeping me in the loop by cc, trying to learn some of my reports and spending an awful lot of time in my boss’s office. I started being very suspicious as to her intentions but kept my cool and pretended I see nothing. A few months later, on 1st April, I got a promotion which I was expecting for a while and became her direct line manager. She was livid at the news and couldn’t get over it, telling me at lunch time, in a jokey way, ‘is this a 1st April joke’? Anyway, to cut a very long story short she was offered my previous job which after a lot of fucking around she accepted but she just couldn’t stomach the fact that I was her line manager and after a few months of not bothering with deadlines and complaining she’s not enjoying her job she finally moved to our sister company in the same building. I was thrilled to lose her and gave a glowing reference to her new employer. I had so much heartache during that time and so much f..ing around from this girl that I promised myself to never ever help anyone with a job. I have left that company over 2 years ago and she is now back with my previous employer doing a job similar to the one I had.

OP posts:
Connieston · 10/02/2019 12:50

When we were amicably separating after 20 years, lots of hugs, no tears really, even though it was sad, calm planning of the logistics my XH sent me a message by accident intended for his mother saying I'd been hysterical "again" that I was drunk and out of control at midday and scaring the children. It was absolute fantasy. Not a word of it was true. After knowing him so long I was shaken to the core to think this narrative was going on and his family must therefore believe I was like that. The way it was worded made it obvious this was how he had been describing me for a while. I had literally cried one time. In my car. Alone. Not ever in front of the kids and I have never been drunk during the day. And the disrespect for my parenting was incredible... when I was pretty much the sole carer for the kids because he was always on the golf course. To paint me in that way...

On the plus side it nailed down some niggly feelings I'd had about his attitude to the truth over the years.

Years on and I still struggle to trust anyone tbh. It affected me that profoundly.

He apologised about the message, was mortified and said he was just upset. But the lies. The betrayal. Awful.

Monkeypuzzle2019 · 10/02/2019 12:56

@Connieston awful :(

OP posts:
flameycakes · 10/02/2019 12:59

My ex screwed my best mate, told me it was to stop me being friends with her x

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