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Original poster

Age restrictions on films - how strictly do you follow guidelines?

37 replies

greenmelon · 10/02/2019 10:46

My DP lets his DS's 3 and 8 watch the movie Venon which is certified 15. AIBU to be shocked at this?? My DD is 6 and I'd never let her watch a 15 movie but he seems to think I'm being overly strict!

OP posts:
Original poster
greenmelon · 10/02/2019 10:59

Just to add this has now caused a row between us as I asked DD to leave the living room whilst he put the film on for the boys and he said I was being ridiculous!

I didn't say he can't put it on I just don't want DD seeing it. He's making me feel like I'm the unreasonable one!

OP posts:
UnderMajorDomoMinor · 10/02/2019 11:01

He is crazy! Some people seem to think violence is fine but they are wrong. Why does he want to desensitise his kids to that content?

ArmchairTraveller · 10/02/2019 11:06

How does their mother feel about her ex being an arse?
Is she OK with it? Is he unable to understand why it’s not reasonable for young children to see films way outside their age limits? Disney Dad? Making men of his boys? Or just indifference and letting them choose?
As a teacher, this happens a lot and it’s always seemed very selfish of the parent.

Original poster
greenmelon · 10/02/2019 11:06

I'm glad it's not just me who thinks the same. It's just so inappropriate for kids to watch that level of violence.

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 10/02/2019 11:08

With mine, I used to decide on a film by film basis, and depending on the child. But Venom isn’t suitable for most under 12s.

ArmchairTraveller · 10/02/2019 11:10

How long has he been your partner, because arguing about your parenting seems worrying.

Ifangyow · 10/02/2019 11:10

I never stopped mine watching age inappropriate films or playing age inappropriate games. My son was a big fan of The Terminator when he was around six years old.
They grew up fine.

Original poster
greenmelon · 10/02/2019 11:10

I did ask if their mum knows and apparently she does and is fine with it... Hmm

He's a great dad in a lot of ways but does let the kids make the rules a lot of the time which I massively disagree with. It's hard to comment on it without coming across as judgemental.

OP posts:
dolorsit · 10/02/2019 11:12

Wow. I was coming on to say we are flexible. Our now 11 year old has seen most of the marvel movies which are rated 12. However we have already watched them beforehand and make a decision. For example we have not allowed her to watch the DC movies like wonder woman. We're starting to discuss letting our 13 year old watch some 15 rated movies but she's been told that she's not watching Deadpool, rated 15, until she's 18 if we can help it Grin

However 3, 6 and 8 watching a 15? No way. The 3 year old may not understand what they are seeing but the other 2 are old enough to get upset.

YANBU

TheSmallAssassin · 10/02/2019 11:13

Why do they even need to watch it? Age ratings are there for a reason! There are so many films suitable for that age.

I have always been fairly strict, though as my kids got closer to the age we did a case by case basis for films we watch as a family - 12 films are often OK for a slightly younger child. My 13 year old finds some 15 films too much, so we have learnt to be cautious. 18 films are generally a no-no (eldest is 15) although we did all watch The Terminator together accidentally because I thought it was 15.

Original poster
greenmelon · 10/02/2019 11:14

@ArmchairTraveller we've been together a couple of years however it's only been in the last 6 months that we've all spent time together as a "family unit".

We do have different ways of parenting which most of the time is fine and I'd never comment on how he parents his kids but when I'm being made to feel like the bad guy and being too sensitive it's really bugs me.

OP posts:
Happygolucky009 · 10/02/2019 11:17

I struggle with age ratings as most cartoon type movies are "boring" and they are disinterested hey are 8 & 10 so have started to allow 12 films. I guess when they get to 12 i will allow 15 but it really does depend on the film

Original poster
greenmelon · 10/02/2019 11:17

I'm not totally inflexible - I'd be ok with some 12a's if I'd watched first and thought it was appropriate but I just don't think 3/6/8 year olds should be watching a 15.

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 10/02/2019 11:19

I think it's really good that you've taken it slowly when it comes to bringing your families together, but I do wonder whether you'll be able to reconcile your parenting styles. Maybe you should cut your losses.

dolorsit · 10/02/2019 11:21

The thing is we all make choices for our children. So, if he wants to let his kids watch inappropriate that's his look out. However, he shouldn't critize you for not letting your child watch.

BTW it's worth considering how ratings have changed over the years. We watched Deadpool and couldn't work out how it wasn't rated 18. I'd be surprised if many of the 15/18 rated films released 20 years ago would get the same rating if released today.

TheSmallAssassin · 10/02/2019 11:22

Happygolucky009 not all kids/family films are cartoon types, maybe you need to cast your net wider rather than looking for higher rated films?

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe · 10/02/2019 11:24

@dolorsit - They've released a child friendly Deadpool now. Same film, all the unsuitable stuff taken out. It's called "Once Upon a Deadpool".

OP - I take it on a film by film basis. DC had seen all the Harry Potters by the age of 6. I wouldn't let them watch Venom!

treadcarefull · 10/02/2019 11:35

I go film by film, DD is 8. She watched suicide squad when she was 7, that is a 15, nothing in that film fazed her. However, The House With The Clock In It's Walls was a 12a in the cinema & absolutely freaked her out. Watched jumamji yesterday which is a 12a. I hate scary films so no way is anyone watching venom in my house 😂

TeenTimesTwo · 10/02/2019 11:43

I follow them pretty strictly. My main tolerance is older 15s, rated before 12s existed (e.g. Billy Elliot). There are so many age appropriate films, why the push to show things early?

greenelephantscarf · 10/02/2019 11:45

I have a look at www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews before I watch a film with dc.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 10/02/2019 11:48

YANBU. I wouldn't follow guidelines to the letter but a 6 year old watching a 15? No way! I go to "common sense media" and follow their guidelines. It will also be dependent on the child. Some kids are more sensitive than others but I can't imagine any 6 year old should be watching a 15!

Mmmmbrekkie · 10/02/2019 11:50

Absolutely not unreasonable

Hope you left the room with your DD though!

WhatNow40 · 10/02/2019 12:05

Harry Potter, the first one, is a 12. Hagrid says Bastard. I wouldn't let my 6 yo watch that bit, and FF a few other scenes. It's not ok to disregard the age cert.

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe · 10/02/2019 12:05

Harry Potter, the first one, is a 12

No it isn't.

goldengummybear · 10/02/2019 12:05

There are some 12a that are fine for most 8 yea olds eg The Avengers but there's a reason why Venom is 15 rather than 12a and he should have checked this out first. (I haven't watched it but presumably Swearing? Sex? Extra violent? )

There's a lot of 12a movies that the 8 year old could have watched over this 15.

As for the 3 year old- you obviously know if they are sensitive or not. My kids watched PG at 3 (say Star Wars episodes 4-6) and probably saw part of the odd 12a because of siblings eg Jurassic Park

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