Not to feel lucky that DP cooks for me

[TheoriginalLEM]

A colleague told me how lucky i am that my DP cooks every day.

Why is that lucky?? I work 10 hour days and am rarely home before 7. Physically and mentally demanding job.

He works hard too bit is home by 4.30 and often works from home. If we wait for me its going to be a late dinner.

I do most of the house work.

Yeah my DP is a good egg and i have actually got a bit lazy with the cooking but is it really still seen as the woman's role.to work AND cook? Fuck that shit

No it isn't about professional offence.

It is about the continual expectation that men can't do x, y and z because they are fucking lazy 'made differently' to women.

Knowing how useless most of my friends' partners are, I do actually feel pretty lucky that DH isn't a lazy, sexist slacker. Sad but true.

Oh trust me i know i am lucky to have DP we have been to hell and back together with debt and serious mental health issues (mine) and he has stood by me. He is fucking fantastic and i know im lucky, and yeah i guess its lucky hes picked up on the cooking since i am working full time.

I am just puzzled that people consider it to be an extraordinary thing. He does it all because of my hours. The people who said this tome have a similar set up. Yet they think im lucky i dont have to cook for my dp on top of 10 hour day.

I don’t think you’re lucky you don’t have to cook for your DP...but I do think you’re lucky you have a meal prepared for you at the end of a 10 hour day. I don’t! And I may well call a colleague (either male or female) lucky who does. Cos I’d be a bit envious are you sure you haven’t taken this comment the wrong way???

😁 Makes me lucky then. My partner does all the cooking, i deal with cleaning, washing, ironing etc. Feel it's a fair split but i get the same comments all the time how lucky i am. He's lucky i don't mind doing the other stuff! Think the world is used to women doing everything 😂😂

is it really still seen as the woman's role.to work AND cook? Fuck that shit
Well it's a good job he doesn't the same attitude to cooking and working as you do or you'd be pretty hungry

The thing is, there is still an element of luck. That the man you fell in love with meets those standards.

I'm not saying it's wrong to have them, obviously! Just that there aren't enough men who aren't raised like little princes around - yet - that some of us don't have 'projects'.

My husband isn't a sexist pig. But he was raised not to lift a finger, never taught to cook, most effort that was expected of him was laying the table. His brother was the same. We went to an evening party with his parents that his 15 year old brother wanted to skip, and his mum went through microwaving instructions with painful detail for the ready meal.

His mum ironed his shirts when he lived with them working too. She's one of those "why wouldn't you do something kind for your DC" posters you see on mumsnet who extends the theory to a point where their children do nothing and learn no self responsibility. His dad is the same - very proactive himself, but didn't teach either of his sons to muck in and work on tasks that need doing in the household.

Like I say, my husband has steadily grown in responsibility - and so have I! He's not a bad person, he can be lazy, but he has made efforts to overcome the lack in his upbringing.