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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When is exhaustion not just...exhaustion?

54 replies

SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 19:26

I’m a teacher
I have small DC
I’m a single parent (50/50)
I had a traumatic bereavement a year ago
I’m - I think - peri menopausal
My sleep is shit

And I am so tired. Given a choice, I’d spend every single minute I’m not working or mummying in bed. I don’t, but it’s so hard to make myself do anything.

Is that just because of my life or is it a doctor thing?

OP posts:
SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 09/02/2019 19:35

You do have a lot going on. Some people thrive on stress- I used too. Others, like me now, crumble when stress hits. But if you think it’s starting to damage your health, your work and your home life, then I would make an appointment with the GP. Good luck.

Sillysallys · 09/02/2019 19:36

I think it’s your life but you possibly do need to have a chat with your GP if you can, either in person or on the phone.

It seems like everything has hit you at once and it’s starting to take it’s toll...quite understandably.

Have you got a good friend who can listen?

Can you get childcare for a day you have off work so you can have a break? I accept a day really isn’t going to cut it but psychologically it may help a little.

If you are struggling with grief, can you have counselling via the GP through the telephone system? I’m sorry, I can’t remember the name of the procedure they use.

You can have bloods taken for hormone levels and get meds if necessary, I think?

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 19:40

It kind of feels like I’m totally fine when I’m DOING DOING DOING but the second I’m not I’m just....I don’t know..blank. i hate it. I used to run lots but I haven’t done any proper exercise in a year and it just feels too hard now because my fitness has fucked off. Even though I know it would probably help.

OP posts:
OldSiam · 09/02/2019 19:43

Well teaching is exhausting going by teacher friends’ experiences
How’s your periods, could you be anaemic?

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 19:46

Periods are currently every two weeks and like a river of doom.

Proper pmt and pain also. Hence I think peri menopause?

OP posts:
macblank · 09/02/2019 19:47

Knowing how my.fiancee suffered through her menopause. How having a demanding husband (he cheated and was.kicked out, i.met her over a year after he left). Her situation was a college.kid, as well as demanding husband.

She didn't sleep well either, but she carried on with her job and "keeping house" and waking g several times a night with extreme flooding n needing to wash n change. She was tired a lot of the time.

I'd definitely recommend going to Dr, who may give you something to help you sleep and maybe something for the pain.

Good luck

Sillysallys · 09/02/2019 19:54

My counsellor once said she found it interesting that ‘I peaked’ when I was running myself ragged (similar reasons as you, OP)

She said that I was deliberately keeping busy so as to avoid having to stop and think about stuff.

Sounds like you may be doing the same.

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 19:57

What kind of counselling?

OP posts:
bababoom100 · 09/02/2019 20:01

I'm not sure but a friend who had exhaustion literally didn't have the energy to even get out of bed or do simple tasks like get dressed. From what you've said you just sound tired and I'm not surprised it sounds like you have a very busy life! If you can maybe taking some time out to deal with things and rest would help and be what you need to get your mojo back. Forcing yourself to exercise will release more energy, but when you're exhausted that's easier said than done!

Sillysallys · 09/02/2019 20:02

I had counselling for all the reasons listed on this page....& a few more!!

www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 20:03

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like a chronic fatigue type thing - poor your friend bab - because I can pack shitloads in.

It’s the empty spaces.

I can’t do them.

OP posts:
sunshineandshowers21 · 09/02/2019 20:08

it could be worth going to the doctors and having some blood tests. i was constantly exhausted and blood tests found that my vitamin and iron levels were very low. i had injections and then daily tablets and now a few months on i feel miles better!

Crockof · 09/02/2019 20:10

Don't just accept it. See a doc get some tests. Two monthly flooding is not normal

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2019 20:14

If it’s a hormonal peri thing what can they do?

OP posts:
8FencingWire · 09/02/2019 20:23

Haha, OP, silly’s busted you!
I’m in the same boat. Slowing down is scary. I’m anemic, sleep is shit, too much on my plate etc. I can fall asleep standing up, the afternoons are the worst, I am literally falling asleep and I can’t fight it.

It’s a combination of life and doctor and counselling thing.

Go see the GP. Start C25K again. Refer yourself for counselling.
You are so not alone!

FaithInfinity · 09/02/2019 20:46

It’s definitely worth a trip to the GP. That amount of blood loss could have resulted in you becoming anaemic. It’s worth asking for routine blood tests to check there’s nothing else going on causing the fatigue although I have found that busy lifestyle and coping with a bereavement is exhausting.

rainbowbash · 09/02/2019 20:52

agree re GP

you may well be anemic. and your periods sounds horrific. could have other causes than peri menopause such as fibroids. would definitely get this checked out as well we ruling out iron deficiency (which you can counter with supplements)

Siameasy · 09/02/2019 23:48

I was exhausted to the point I was climbing stairs on hands and knees. Periods extremely heavy. Was anaemic of course. Also had fibroids. Go to the GP and ask for a full blood count, including ferritin levels.

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/02/2019 23:53

How old are you?

elephantoverthehill · 10/02/2019 00:05

I am a teacher also. When I went through peri menopause I would come back from school and sleep for an hour, just as I did in the first weeks of pregnancy. Power naps are great Wink

HerRoyalNotness · 10/02/2019 00:07

I took myself to the Dr and found I had low iron and very low bit B and also got diagnosed with RA and another autoimmune. Worth a Doctor visit IMO.

hastingsmua1 · 10/02/2019 00:15

It reaches the point where you should speak to a doctor when it impacts your day to day life.

I have experienced tiredness before, like everyone else. In my uni years, I would constantly go out on consecutive nights out whilst studying and working full time - sometimes I would skip sleep for 1/2 days. However I could still function and live my life as normal, whilst having other stresses to deal with.

However a year later and after my life calmed down, I just couldn’t get out of bed most days. I really had to convince myself to leave the house as my whole body was aching and I had a constant low mood. Was constantly cancelling things as I just didn’t have the energy. Turned out that I was severely deficient in vitamin D.

bridgetreilly · 10/02/2019 00:19

Could be thyroid. Could be vitamin D. Could be anaemia (especially with being on your period half the time). Could be just needing to start exercising again and maybe changing up your diet a bit? Could well be your body's response to everything that's hit you in the last year.

But definitely worth going to the doctor to check whether there's a simple, fixable medical cause.

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 10/02/2019 08:19

Ok. GP visit then.

It feels like a whole bunch of unrelated stuff to spit out in one go! I guess I start with the physical symptoms and then give her all the additional info...

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 10/02/2019 08:29

Write a list to take with you and literally read it to the GP - much easier that way, rather than trying to remember everything on the fly. How’s your diet OP? Are you able to eat well?