To cut a long story short my life dramatically improved in the spring of 2010 after some years of loneliness/trauma unhappiness. I mean socially and personally improved more than professionally .While the years 2010 - 2012 were very good, after 2013 I let things slide and lost my way. Admittedly my fault. Things are better now than they were in 2014/15 aka "the hell years" but I still haven't recovered the happiness of 2010 and I've sadly lost my much loved social connections. I'm recently facing a very tough situation involving elderly parents and feel life is shit atm. I hate myself for wasting the social opportunities I had in 2010 and feel life is as flat as a pancake