DH works from home most of the time for his own business. Sometimes needs to work away. I work full time out of the home in a mentally and emotionally demanding job. We have one 8 year old DD.
I tend to do school drop offs, DH does pick up and after school activities, unless he is away, in which case I manage my diary around pick ups as well. DH will usually get DD ready in the morning, but goes back to bed between stages (eg while DD is eating breakfast, getting dressed etc) so everything takes far longer than it should and we’re usually in a rush.
I cook 99% of meals, sort out food deliveries, washing, ironing, finances, do the books for his company, VAT and tax returns. I make 95% of DD’s packed lunches and deal with all the school stuff like PE kit, reading books, non-uniform days etc.
DH has for several years been a bit of a workaholic. For the past several months he’s barely managed to work 6hours on average per day, despite needing to work late regularly. Turns out he’s been going back to bed once DD and I have left, then getting up around lunchtime and starting work somewhere around 1pm. He says he can’t get going in the mornings, but it has absolutely nothing to do with him staying up online gaming until 3 or 4am. 
On Saturdays DD has either one or 2 activities (one thing is every week, the other is fortnightly). Today it was both things. I was up before 8am to get ready. DD was up at about 8:15am. I had to wake him up at 9:15am and ask him to get DD some breakfast. I had to remind him of what she needed in her bag. He was such a mess that we ended up leaving late, and she was late to her activity. I spent the time she was there going to get things she needs for a show next week. I picked her up, took her to get lunch and then off to her other activity. She usually has a sleepover with grandparents once a fortnight and i meet them with her at a retail park between our homes. (Around 20mile drive.)
DH needs some new shoes, so asked if after DD’s 2nd activity could I detour to pick him up and he could get some shoes at the retail park. I told him what time we’d be there. He wasn’t ready. In the car he tells me that he’s emptied the dishwasher and put out the washing. I am not impressed. He said he has spent the day on his PS4. I say nothing.
When we get to the retail park I get DD’s overnight bag (which I packed with her) out and go to get her activity bag as she has an extra session tomorrow which my way parents are taking her to. It’s not there. He took it out of the car when we went to pick him up. He said he didn’t know about the session tomorrow, but I reminded him that it was him who told me about it last weekend as he found the letter in her bag. I said that I had told him my parents would be taking her to the activity and now he would have to make arrangements to get the stuff to her as he didn’t bother asking before deciding to take the stuff out of the car. He stormed off. I have moved the car and am sitting in the car park. We are meant to be going for food and to the cinema as he complains that I am usually too busy/tired to spend time with him.
I really don’t want to spend another 10 years putting up with this shit. I am so utterly fucked off that everything is down to me whilst he spends hours and hours playing games online, shirking his responsibilities and not even working full days. Any hint of criticism and the blame gets put onto me.
WIBU to go home and take a hammer to the PS4 and pack up his stuff? I feel I’ve lost all rational thought.