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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To care about my friends relationship..

4 replies

Whycare2018 · 09/02/2019 17:02

My friend is in a relationship with someone who is lovely but no matter what he does or does not do , she clings onto the relationship . He is bisexual . She is straight. This is relevant because he much prefers sex with men , women not as much . He treats her poorly and she hangs on waiting for any amount of attention . She has a grave history of dysfunction and has never been treated right. A series of twats by his account. He doesn’t boast about how dismissive he is about her wants, needs or feelings but has no shame either . I have lost respect for him. Why do I care so much? . Help me to make sense of it please. I have told him when asked that his treatment seems selfish and a little cruel when all she desires is a serious relationship and has been treated badly all her life from caregivers to friends to men . I struggle to listen to tales of him being the great partner etc. I’m interested but can’t yndwrstand why I care at all? I have no romantic interest in him and he has had lovely partners throughout our friendship but this doesn’t seem to be like him. Frankly I think he is a twat right now. Any advice appreciated about how best to shut him down without being blatantly mean

OP posts:
Whycare2018 · 10/02/2019 15:51

Anyone??

OP posts:
flameycakes · 10/02/2019 15:53

Doesn't sound lovely

Bumblebee27 · 10/02/2019 15:55

Of course you care, it's your friend and it's very frustrating to see someone you care about being treated badly. I have a friend whose partner is a total tit. He's stolen from her, lied, been abusive, he tries to control her and stops her seeing her friends. It's very very hard to stomach but she has made the choice time and time again to go back to him. What can you do? It's their life.

All you can do is be there for support if needed but try not to get too involved otherwise. Take a step back. At the end of the day it's her life and she will spend it with who she likes.

Whycare2018 · 10/02/2019 16:05

I think I may have written the post in a misleading way. It is he who is my mate , he who has turned into a man who I do t seem
To know amymore .. or maybe I never knew him
At all. I am struggling to have good thoughts about him . I cannot hide what I think or feel. My face will always show my thoughts. I dont want to lose the friendship but im struggling to maintain any form
Of respect for him, even though it’s not my business! Thanks

OP posts:
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