I’m trapped in a job I hate. I co-own the business and since we started four years ago we’ve had a few great months but mostly are living/existing on a hand to mouth type basis. My job keeps me desk bound and I’m ‘happy’ with that as the last thing I want to do is be out meeting new people. I know this seems unrelated to my weight but... I’m 4 stone overweight and am fat and embarrassed. I know that if I wasn’t overweight I’d have the confidence to admit to my business partner that I want out and I have a high chance of securing a job in private practice. But while I’m so overweight I carry on plastering a fake smile to my face and pretending to believe that our success it’s jusy around the corner (it’s not, we’re floging a dead horse).
Similarly, an ex-boyfriend got back in touch recently and, blimey, the feelings it invoked were so strong. I’ve been chatting to him a bit over email (just friendly stuff) and he has mentioned a couple of times we should meet for a coffee. Luckily, the fat me is no waaaaay meeting up with an ex at this size (I presume he thinks I’m still as size 10) so therefore I don’t have to deal with any resulting fallout, I.e what if I want to rekindle something, address my own current relationship.
I guess I’m saying there’s the life I could be leading (confident, slim, healthy BUT with some potentially tricky choices to make - to say the least!) or the life I am leading (fat, unhealthy, no confidence BUT trundling along with no life changing decisions to ponder).
Oh god does this make any sense?! Help... please!!