Past abuse

[Gloopy]

Didn't know where to post this.

Many years ago my mum was with my "dad" from me being 3 until I was 12. He was a lot older than her at the time. He was older than my grandad. Her dad.

From the ages of 9 until I was 11 he sexually abused me. Him and his friend. They were lorry drivers.

I've been with my DP 11 years, and over the years I've told him about this.

I told my mum 10 years ago what happened and she said I should report it and she would stand with me. But I never have.

Anyway its always been a problem for my OH and he's just brought it up with my mum, and I'm left feeling fucking humiliation and cheap. He's calling my "dad" a perv and she's saying she didn't know and the balls in my court. I've told him to shut his mouth and this isn't the time or place.

I didn't want this but again I've been left feeling like it's my fault.

I'm so sorry you went through this. You're right that it wasn't your DH's place to say anything and the decision whether to contact the police is yours. It is not your fault in any way and I'm really sorry you've been made to feel like that

You’ve no treason to feel humiliation or to feel cheap. You were a child and a victim. Please go see your GP for a referral for some counselling.

Your DH should not have confronted you’d DM but I can understand why. DH loves you and most likely holds your DM responsible for bringing this man into your life, feeling angry on your behalf. However, “we” now know these sexual predators target single mothers and bamboozle them into opening their lives to them not realising it’s all about getting access to their children. So while DH was wrong to confront her, it’s understandable. Specialist help really is recommended for you to work through your feelings of what happened and how to move on.

Best of luck to you OP

How fucking dare he.
He had no reason to involve himself unless asked, it was your experience and you deal with it how you feel comfortable. You and your mum have discussed it she believed you and said she would support you what did he hope to gain by upsetting you both?
I would be furious and embarrassed in your shoes. HE engineered those feelings not you

How is it his problem without your consent? Against your wishes?
He's not attacking your mum with the word 'perv' out of concern OP but I think you know that.