In thinking the teacher is being ridiculous?

[maggii]

At my ds school they hold a music concert in April every year, students who take music lessons at the school will automatically get invited to perform and those who have lessons out of school will have to ask the music teacher if they can be invited too. My son who’s 12, has been playing bass guitar since he was 8, he really tries hard to improve his playing and puts a lot of effort and time in practicing, he’s self taught, and he’s actually very good for his age!

For the four years he’s been playing, he finally feels confident to perform at the concert, he asked the music teacher if he could be invited and he told my son to get me to email him, so I did. I’ve got an email back today saying he isn’t allowed to perform as they don’t approve of the instrument!? He said that the bass isn’t as interesting as the other instruments, and that they don’t want to encourage other students to play it and that it’s not a good instrument for a solo piece (ds planned to have a backing track with the drums playing, which students are allowed). Am I missing something? Is the bass guitar considered a negative instrument?

Ds is heartbroken, any student who asks to do the concert always gets a yes, so he’s feeling very down about it all. Very tempted to reply but I know I’m going to come across argumentative, as to be honest, I am feeling very argumentative about this situation. The music teacher flat out said no, and that was the final decision. Ds was so excited to finally play to people other than me, dh and his sister, so I’m frantically looking online at some local music concerts or events he can play at as he wants to take the next step.

So my real question is aibu in thinking the music teacher is being ridiculous over the bass guitar? Is the bass a bad instrument, will it have a negative influence on the other students?? Do I reply to his email?!?

Sorry for the long post, I’m just very upset for my son!

When you contact them again ask if a double bass or a bassoon would make acceptably interesting instruments as they are both 'classical', and then call them out on their snobbery. The original text is more infuriating than your more diplomatic version!

Another music teacher here just to add another WTF to the file. If the issue was space or something fine, but.... They don't want to encourage the instrument? Whaaat? Bass guitar is awesome.

It IS that easy to fall into. And I doubt many people having committed to a probationary year want to admit they don’t want to do it and have much of an idea about what to do with the degree they have, that is frankly useless for anything else.

At every school I've ever worked you can't email directly and someone checks what you send.

I can email the teachers directly at DS's school, and they can email me. It's not unusual.

I email direct and them direct to me too

I've worked in schools in 3 different local authorities and none of them allowed direct contact between classroom teachers and parents, outside of formal parents evenings. It protects both sides - parents shouldn't be getting emails like this and I wouldn't want the parents of the 150+ pupils I teach to be able to contact me directly. I would spend half my day answering emails! That's why we have heads of year; one of their job functions is parent liaison.

I email direct and them direct to me too
Same here. Didn't realise that isn't the norm!

I have never known a teacher write or say anything so offensive.

Maybe it is the norm and it's only a coincidence that my schools haven't allowed it

It's the norm at my children's primary school in Australia too, Holly - guess you just got lucky/unlucky before! (Not sure which, tbh)

I would look up the school’s gifted and talented policy. All schools are supposed to give a gifted or talent student a opportunity in a area they excel in. In this case it’s clear your self taught son has a talent.

As for the show not being boring, no disrespect to anyone but I’ve attended many dance shows to see my dd dance. While it’s nice to be entertained I’m under no illusions for the level of my expectations from the show and while it’s interesting to watch the others I go to see my child. As long as my dd wants to perform I’m happy whatever she does on the stage which currently is on the level as snowflake number 5 in the background 😂 Mrs importantly she is happy to just be a part of it in any way.

That is really sad! I would definitely moan! Your poor ds!