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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect to be left alone whilst off work?

8 replies

Skiphopnjump · 08/02/2019 11:12

I work in a very small team in a very large organisation. There is me, another woman a few years younger than me, and our manager. The other woman is new to the organisation (and to work - she's a recent graduate), I have been in the organisation for about 6 years but this is a new team.

I have been off work with stress this week. This is very unusual for me, and I've made it very clear to my manager and the other team member (let's call her Jane) that it is not work related stress but personal. My manager has been fantastic, I cannot fault him in the slightest.

When at work, me and Jane message a lot - mostly work related but also some general chit chat. Since I've been off she is messaging me constantly on whatsapp. Just the usual "Oh not got a lot on today. Oh X and Y are off for a meeting, wonder what that's about? Oh this call is sooooo boring".

It's constant. Probably about 20 messages a day. At first I politely responded but I've been ignoring them now. As I said she is new to the workforce so maybe doesn't realise that it's perhaps not appropriate to be constantly messaging someone who is off work because of stress, beyond a "hope all is ok" type message.

I don't want to say anything to my manager and I will probably be back next week anyway so I won't take any action, but AIBU to expect to be left alone? She means well, so maybe my expectations are off.

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 08/02/2019 11:17

As you have a good working relationship with Jane, I don't think you need to involve your boss. Surely a polite message back saying you'd rather she didn't contact you while you're on sick leave would suffice?

cauliflowersqueeze · 08/02/2019 11:20

Just text her and say “thanks for update. Not well at the moment. Will catch up when I’m back.”

She is used to texting you as a “friend” it seems, which is different to as a colleague.

FriarTuck · 08/02/2019 11:58

Well she's not contacting you about work issues so why not just ignore her the same as you would a friend who did that? You're under no obligation to reply to any social media messages regardless as to who sent them. She probably thinks you just need a bit of cheering up & is misguidedly trying to do that.

PuppyMonkey · 08/02/2019 12:01

Turn your notifications off - or delete the app.Grin

RedSkyLastNight · 08/02/2019 12:25

It sounds like social chit chat i.e. she's treating you like a friend and not a work colleague.
So why not just respond "I'm fine thanks, but trying to rest, so won't be reading any future messages"?

Mmmmbrekkie · 08/02/2019 12:29

Really appreciate you keeping in contact whilst I’m off but I think I need a bit of head space.

Looking forward to catching up ASAP x

Grace212 · 08/02/2019 12:29

if she's got your personal phone number instead of a work number, then she's thinking you exchange personal messages

never a good idea to blur the boundaries between work and personal. I'd ignore for now and think about how you will set lines in future.

I hope you recover asap Flowers

halfwitpicker · 08/02/2019 12:30

As above. Or don't use WhatsApp with them at all

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