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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People trying to make you vegan

57 replies

Home77 · 07/02/2019 17:42

I read my city is apparently where the most Vegan people live, recently.
And it has been Veganuary as well.

Getting a bit fed up of people pressuring me to be Vegan too though. Fair enough the posters and choice of foods on shelves etc, but just last week SIL gave me a Vegan cook book and went on about how I should try being Vegan as it has helped her etc (but I worry as she has an eating disorder it might trigger that)

Even in Lush today was simply buying my Ultrabland cream, and got this pushy Vegan sales girl telling me 'if I want a vegan one' to try this other one as it doesn't have honey in it. Argh, now they try to make you feel guilty about using honey!

At least it may settle down now I suppose after the Veganuary thing.

Is it just me or have others been bothered by this too?

OP posts:

BartonHollow · 07/02/2019 17:47

I don't think a sales person or restaurant pointing out there is a vegan option should you want it is trying to make you vegan surely? Just doing their job.

That's quite different from friends wife filling her social media with angry propaganda lecturing meat eaters which is I grant you a completely different kettle of fish and thoroughly annoying.

nutellalove · 07/02/2019 17:52

I find it annoying too. People also make you feel guilty for eating meat now. I ordered a chicken burger at a restaurant last night and my friend gave me a lecture on how I was destroying the environment. IWhich annoyed me because everything we do in modern life is destroying the environment. People take steps to reduce the impact in their own ways. I told her she should walk the 11 miles home then instead of using her car as it was 'destroying the environment'

I don't even eat that much meat but I'm getting annoyed at how I'm increasingly having to justify myself whenever I do

Bringbackthestripes · 07/02/2019 17:56

this pushy Vegan sales girl telling me 'if I want a vegan one' to try this other one as it doesn't have honey in it

I tend to open my mouth before thinking, I would have really upset her by saying “ oooh I love honey, I go through nearly a jar a week”

YANBU.

DroningOn · 07/02/2019 18:00

friend gave me a lecture on how I was destroying the environment

Do a bit of background reading and in response call her out on things like:

The palm oil in her cosmetics and how it contributes to deforestation
The cheap "disposable" clothes she buys made in far East factories that pollute watercourses with effluent from the manufacturing process
The precious metals and minerals in her iPhone which are dug out of the ground in huge open cast mines in unregulated parts of the world.

Nothing more satisfying than calling out a hypocrite

KnobOfStork · 07/02/2019 18:04

I've been vegetarian for half my life and made the mistake of complaining to a vegan pal about people giving it "god put animals on earth to eat blah blah blah" which prompted a sustained campaign about how evil I am for not just going vegan. I bought a second hand vintage wool coat because I needed a warm winter coat which is tantamount to stabbing a sheep in the face for a laugh. In fairness I probably was preachy when I was 9 years old but I do find it annoying to be lectured about how I was doing vegan wrong when it made me ill, how I should accept that dietary supplements and how if I just gave x food with no nutritional value a go it would be easy. I was berated for choosing a vegetable dish over that burger that bleeds, when the idea absolutely turns my stomach. Someone who has been vegan for a year with a bin full of plastic trays from ready meals telling me my nearly 15 years has made no environmental impact has just put me off trying to go back. It's a clever marketing campaign for vegan foods which will probably die out when they realise it's a faff when you're no longer living in a big city centre full of right on vegans and students. I do eat a predominantly plant based diet but if someone has put themselves out to make me something veggie but has used egg, milk or cheese I won't throw it back in their face and it's a step up from the years I spent being offered tuna pasta, tinned salmon or egg and cheese butties

cardibach · 07/02/2019 18:05

Droning how do you know the friend does any of those things? Many vegans don’t (apart from the smart phone thing). Doesn’t make them hypocrites if they do - they are doing their bit for one issue (factory farming in many cases).
Nobody has ever tried to make me be vegan. Vegan friends have cooked me vegan food. Hell I’ve cooked myself vegan food! No compulsion to do it all the time.

KnobOfStork · 07/02/2019 18:08

DroningOn a lot of the new shiny vegan convenience foods seem to be absolutely full of palm oil and bloody avocados are such a water thirsty crop. It does my head in. Although I have been thoroughly informed my bulk purchased lentils are exactly as bad, if not worse

TildaTurnip · 07/02/2019 18:09

I imagine that vegans feel the same about How dairy is massively pushed, the many many adverts about meat and animal products and people saying, ‘yeah, but, bacon’ to them.

TildaTurnip · 07/02/2019 18:11

Nothing more satisfying than calling out a hypocrite

Or just being nasty? Surely someone trying to do something good is not something to criticise on the basis that they could do more!

outpinked · 07/02/2019 18:11

I was a vegan for a fair while and went on a date with a vegan guy who had no idea I was vegan too. I listened to him trying to ‘convert’ me for a good half an hour before I broke the news that I already was vegan. His face was a picture . The spiel he was coming out with was ridiculous, even I knew that as a vegan myself.

I get sick of it too OP, it’s really irritating and sanctimonious. I think it makes many people want to eat more meat if I’m honest.

JazzyBBG · 07/02/2019 18:17

Are you in Bristol??

So Veganuary seemed to be everywhere.... I can however assure you it has not hit Broad street, Birmingham where I went to try and buy a vegan box of chocolates for a friend and was looked at like an alien when I asked for them 😂 good old Broad Street only the chicken kebabs on offer there I'm afraid!

DroningOn · 07/02/2019 18:19

TildaTurnip

If someone is sanctimoniously lecturing about chicken destroying the environment whilst in all liklihood being completely ignorant if the environmental consequences of their own lifestyle and consumer choices what exactly is nasty about setting them straight.

Perhaps if people were less holier than thou when it comes to things like this people would listen.

RhiWrites · 07/02/2019 18:24

I’m a vegetarian and it’s people like boring old Droning who demand if I wear leather shoes. I don’t, as it happens, but could there by anything more tedious than people who want to tear down your personal ethics by asking why you don’t do even more?

Everyone can do more. The point is that I’m doing something, not just shitting on other people’s choices.

badlydrawnperson · 07/02/2019 18:28

I bought a second hand vintage wool coat because I needed a warm winter coat which is tantamount to stabbing a sheep in the face for a laugh.

anniehm · 07/02/2019 18:34

I know what you mean, I'm eating extra steak to help beef farmers!

DroningOn · 07/02/2019 18:36

RhiWrites

It's got absolutely nothing to do with your choices, I don't for a minute expect every vegetarian or vegan to run around in hemp loin cloths.

My point is that there is a movement towards the demonisation of people who eat meat/use plastic/drive diesels and it's largely driven by I'll informed people making a mediocre effort and lazily criticising people who, for example, eat chicken.

DevonshireDarling · 07/02/2019 18:36

I agree that must be annoying, but I find the opposite. I've been veggie for 18 years and find I have to keep quiet or tell people 'I don't eat meat' because I've had it so many times over the years that people have got defensive as soon as they hear I'm vegetarian and start telling me I need a good steak etc I NEVER tell people they shouldn't eat meat etc yet people feel they can be rude to me. I think it's just certain extreme people, and not all people are like that with, just like the uproar with the vegan protest that vandalized a turkey farm shop, all the vegans I know are lovely and most of them you wouldn't know they were vegan unless you got to know them really well, they don't go on about it. I think those that are doing it for veganuary like to show off a bit or maybe are just proud of themselves. You're best off just smiling and saying no thanks, I'm sure it will soon get boring once Easter is here. I'm all for people being veggie and vegan or meat eating btw. Just don't go on about it.

pantyclaws · 07/02/2019 18:57

DroningOn

Because lecturing them about other things is no less sanctimonious, and unless you're doing all of those things you mention you are knowingly doing things that are crap for the environment.

(Also eating a lot less or no meat and dairy is an easy, cheap and very impactful way to lessen your load on the environment. More so than any of the things you mention.)

Original poster

Home77 · 07/02/2019 19:00

I'm veggie too, but don't really find that, mind you I never really mention it.

I'm in Bath.

OP posts:

lemonface · 07/02/2019 19:02

Oh another vegan bashing thread.

I am starting to wonder if people have a guilty conscience and don't like to have to think about where their food came from. It's not just about the planet it's about unnecessary suffering of sentient beings and I'm not vegan by the way.

pantyclaws · 07/02/2019 19:02

Could there by anything more tedious than people who want to tear down your personal ethics by asking why you don’t do even more?

100% this.

people have got defensive as soon as they hear I'm vegetarian

Also this. When I became vegetarian quite late in life I got interrogation, rude comments and "jokes", people stopped inviting me to dinner so much etc. I explained my reasons if asked but only in defence. Thankfully most people have cottoned on and are willing to at least try a meat free meal occasionally and there's not too choose from, so I'm less of a pariah.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 07/02/2019 19:06

No thanks. I’ve been veggie for 36 odd years now, so don’t need to jump into the Vegbandwagon and go all Vega-trendy thank you very much.

I had a lunch and one guest was doing the dry January ‘just water for me, I’m being so good doing dry January - I feel so much healthier bla bla bla’ (murmurs of ‘well do t you! And ‘aren’t you good!’) not to be outdone another piped up ‘oh but I’m doing the Veganary, it’s soooooo hard and I can’t eat a thing here!’ I pointed out that there was actually loads she could have but she wasn’t having any of it!

Back in the day you just chomped on your cheese salad (without the cheese as you were never sure) and kept schtum.

MikeUniformMike · 07/02/2019 19:07

Lush assistants tend to be a bit pushy.
Eat what you want to eat.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 07/02/2019 19:08

Ive boycotted Lush for a while now. My nose thanks me and DS is no longer like Little Blue in the bath.

Original poster

Home77 · 07/02/2019 20:03

Lush is annoying. The Ultrabland really helps with spots. It was funny as I was saying, just come in to get that, thanks, I've run out. And got told all about 'but we have a new Vegan version of Ultrabland now' (tiny thing for about £6. probably just some marketing thing there too.

It's literally impossible to just go in and get something. DH dreads going in to get a voucher or anything. However DC love it as they sometimes let them do bath bombs.

OP posts:

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