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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to hook up with someone

24 replies

trucki · 07/02/2019 13:31

I don't mean to come across desperate, I just feel really lonely as a single parent with no time to myself.
I literally just want to go out and hook up with someone to feel a bit like me again and have my personal time and short-term cure my loneliness. I'm not after a relationship.
Expecting some slating and some people giving wake up calls but is there anyone who has actually done this without OLD? I have no friends free to go out clubbing with. I'm tempted to just go to the local pub alone and see what's happens.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 07/02/2019 13:34

Go for it!

Karigan195 · 07/02/2019 13:35

It is your life and you can live it how you want. But you may be better off finding some social groups to hang out with rather than running the risk of weirdos etc. Whatever you choose be safe. Going to a pub alone to hook up doesn’t really sound that safe to me

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 07/02/2019 13:37

Yes go for it as long as you stay safe and it's definitley what you want.

NameyMcNameChange1 · 07/02/2019 13:37

Going to the local pub would result in you bumping into them again though. Just something to consider. Why don’t you fancy OLD?

But I’m sure you’ll find what you need, and it is definitely needed now and again.

Original poster
trucki · 07/02/2019 13:38

@NameyMcNameChange1 just to clarify, I never go to the local (never been before) so wouldn't mind not going again! Blush I live in a small town and just don't like the idea of OLD when I've got a young child and having people know my circumstance. Just a personal feeling I guess!

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 07/02/2019 13:39

And by the way, a one off hook up or a friends with benefits situation isn't a cure for loneliness, from my own experience it can make you feel even lonelier. But if it's purely sex, maybe you'd be better off on OLD and at least chat to someone for a few days.

noego · 07/02/2019 13:40

Just go on something like POF and ask to date nothing serious. Check them out first and date in a safe place.

NameyMcNameChange1 · 07/02/2019 13:40

My best friend managed to hook up with a random dad at the swimming pool. We were watching dc’s swimming and she was bemoaning lack of physical contact. She mentioned a chap sitting further down that looked her type. I vaguely knew him and knew he was recently divorced. She walked up to him, gave him her number on a piece of paper and said ‘let me know if you ever fancy hooking up!’ I was agog as I would never in a million years have the balls to do that, but it worked. She’s ridiculously attractive though which may have a lot to do with it.

Original poster
trucki · 07/02/2019 13:41

@NameyMcNameChange1 oh my god - I'd do anything for that level of confidence! Shock

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 07/02/2019 13:45

I would have thought with online dating there is more chance of finding someone who is looking for the same thing as you.

Original poster
trucki · 07/02/2019 14:28

@MajesticWhine I just don't like how public OLD is in my small town and if I'm completely honest, don't have much interest in chatting to anyone or them knowing anything about me or meeting somewhere in a 'date' fashion!

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 07/02/2019 14:33

Casual sex is not a great cure for loneliness. Likey to be something to regret

Bombardier25966 · 07/02/2019 14:34

If you're solely looking for sex, how about a male escort? I appreciate it's contentious but it puts you in control and you'd be guaranteed to have a good time, they'll be attentive to your needs.

NameyMcNameChange1 · 07/02/2019 15:12

Male escorts for women aren’t really a thing bombardier. I imagine even less of a thing if you’re in a small town like op is.

NotANotMan · 07/02/2019 15:15

Oh god not a male prossie Grin

I have casual sex partners, found most of them on OLD. You can set your parameters quite wide and only chat to blokes who live a while away from you

MrsTerryPratcett · 07/02/2019 15:18

I have a friend who's had luck with Tinder. Just says she's not interested in a relationship and the offers flood in. The problem with a small town is the chances you'll see someone you know are higher!

ComeOnGordon · 07/02/2019 15:27

I totally get where you’re coming from. I don’t want another relationship but some random sex once in a while wouldn’t go a miss.

But I’m also a bit stuck as to where to get it from so in the meanwhile I’m having some online text sex with an ex from 20 years ago who lives 1000’s of miles away and is fairly busy so it isn’t every day. Sometimes not even every week but it’s enough to give me a boost when I’m feeling down and a bit lonely.

Original poster
trucki · 07/02/2019 15:55

@ComeOnGordon nice to know I'm not the only one!! I wish it was more straightforward!

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 07/02/2019 16:01

It's not that difficult really
Set up a profile with photos that don't show your face, say you're looking for something casual and only chat to men who live 20 miles away plus
If they are interested they will travel to you!

FiveRedBricks · 07/02/2019 16:03

Fabswingers.com vet them and always be safe. Most are married. The decent guys are not. Everyone is there for the same thing.

Original poster
trucki · 07/02/2019 16:04

@NotANotMan there wouldn't even be 20 miles away where I am unless I wanted to get a boat!

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 07/02/2019 16:25

Why don't you want anyone to see you on there? Online dating is so popular these days, most people I know are on it or have done it. And if someone sees you, then it means they are also on it. You don't need to give loads of personal details out.

NameyMcNameChange1 · 08/02/2019 14:15

I can understand why you wouldn’t want anyone else to see you on there. Especially as you clearly don’t want a relationship as such. I’d hate it if one of my family members saw a profile of mine on Tinder or something.

Go for it at the local. Let us know how it goes!

BadLad · 08/02/2019 14:22

I'm tempted to just go to the local pub alone and see what's happens.

So do it. There's nothing remotely unusual about this. Most men you know will have done this many times.

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