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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS won't go in pram

34 replies

erja · 07/02/2019 12:10

DS is 2 in a month.
About a month ago, he stopped wanting to go in his pram. He will scream and scream until he's sick if he's put in.
But he also won't walk as soon as we get outside 90% of the time. He will scream until he's carried.
I don't drive.
It's making laugh so difficult. He's not a light boy so unless we are walking somewhere within a 2 minute radius, it's hard! We aren't getting out or doing anything so I can avoid having to lug a toddler round and avoid the severe tantrums of having to sit in the pram.
He's a very good walker when he wants to, but it's rare that he is actually willing to walk!
Any advice? It's taking its toll Sad

OP posts:
erja · 07/02/2019 12:11

Life*, not laugh! Confused

OP posts:
livinginaweirdworld · 07/02/2019 12:11

Go to a sling library and get a toddler sling. Will help you a lot.

Youknowmedontyou · 07/02/2019 12:12

I know they often become "buggy haters" around that age but that's extreme!

Is his pram and big sort of enclosed one, might he prefer a cheapy lightweight type so he doesn't feel so "closed" in?

erja · 07/02/2019 12:13

@Youknowmedontyou his is very light!

OP posts:
Mabumssare · 07/02/2019 12:13

Would he go in a smart trike or wee bike with a handle ?

erja · 07/02/2019 12:14

@Mabumssare he goes in his trike for a total of about 3 minutes before he cries to be carried! He won't go on his bike at all apart from round the living room.

OP posts:
werideatdawn · 07/02/2019 12:15

My friend has a Micro mini trike thing. Extremely lightweight and her son loves it. Probably not good for any rough terrain though.

erja · 07/02/2019 12:16

It's hard today as we are both frustrated, in bad moods and in need of fresh air, and I'd benefit so much by being able to put him in the pram and go for a 30 min walk, but the only option is to ever carry him on my hip round the block unless I want to listen to him scream and cry the whole way and have people stare!

OP posts:
Mabumssare · 07/02/2019 12:17

Eek it's a tricky one. I would probably just strap mine into the buggy anyway and bride them with toys and snacks and hope that they eventually give in but if he is making himself sick that's not great !

Would he go on a buggy board maybe (even though you don't have anyone in the pram !)

Is it the pram he dislikes or is it just that he wants to be carried to you think.

If you refuse to carry him what does he do ? Just not move ?

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/02/2019 12:18

Would a scooter work? I know some people whose kids wouldn't be in the pram or walk, but loved to scoot.

erja · 07/02/2019 12:19

@Mabumssare I think he just wants carried when we are out (unless we are on a bus or something). Sometimes I put him down and yeah, he will just stand still and cry. It's been going on for weeks now and I'm drained with it, almost have a cry in the street myself when he refuses to move!

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 07/02/2019 12:19

Although he might be a bit young for a scooter you can get a strap to pull them along with.

adaline · 07/02/2019 12:19

Bribery? Can you give him something in the buggy to keep him quiet, even something like an ice lolly?

erja · 07/02/2019 12:20

@adaline used to work and then it stopped. On the times it does, he will eat the chocolate and then start up crying to get out again.

OP posts:
Mabumssare · 07/02/2019 12:22

Try playing setting up some games before you leave the house to get him walking ? Tell him mummy will shout go and he has to walk / run and then you will shout stop and he has to stand still like a statue ? This used to work when mine were in running away phases.

Or say it's a treasure hunt and you need to collect leaves, twigs, count birds etc so walking is a game not just walking ? Or try using it to get him in the pram say we need to go count the cars, birds, whatever so you get to sit in the pram and look for them all. Go over it with him before you go outside and try to get him in the buggy ?

Sorry sounds frustrating !

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 07/02/2019 12:26

A bit old fashioned, I know, but i would just strap him in when we are off somewhere he REALLY wants to go. If he cries, we go back home end of story. He needs to learn that you are in charge of him, not the other way around. (Mini Trike/Baby sling indeed, whatever next!!!)

Dimsumlosesum · 07/02/2019 12:29

Mine was exactly the same, except from 1 year old. Think, screaming bloody murder, and that was him. So he was walking from a year, but refused to hold hands etc. Too big for a sling. So I stuck a back pack with reins on on him and kind of half dragged, half walked, half carried him everywhere from then on. Bloody nightmare.

MiniCooperLover · 07/02/2019 12:29

I agree. I'm sorry but you're going to ha e to rough out the crying for a while until he realises he just is not going to get his own way. He's playing you but it's gone on so long now he doesn't know what to do now.

Haworthia · 07/02/2019 12:29

I’ve been there and it’s awful.

And slings aren’t the answer if a) your child is too heavy to carry, even on your back and b) you want to also carry bags/shopping etc.

No advice I’m afraid, other than to strap him in the buggy anyway and do some deep breathing exercises to cope with the frustration and embarrassment.

My daughter could be a prize arse at that age. Just everything was a reason to scream and rage and make me miserable Blush She changed around age 4, and is brilliant at 7.

ForeignnessAlert · 07/02/2019 12:34

We had that with DS. I always repeated "hold mummy's hand and walk or buggy?" Whilst holding out my hand or pointing to the buggy. Refusal to walk or to hold hand and he was strapped back into the buggy. Tantrums ignored.
It's easier to get them into the buggy if you lay it flat first, stand slightly to the side so they can't kick you. Cross the straps so they can't pull them off (if your buggy brand allows it).

Bribing with a lolly to keep quiet is dangerous...the time you run out of them! And I don't believe in bribing with food like that, but I know my MIL did it with DS.
I feel for you, it is wearing and a pain when you only have buggy for transport. It is a battle of wills though!

SlackerMum1 · 07/02/2019 12:36

Been through this with DD around the same age. I did carry her around for a while but she was waaaay to big and heavy... especially as I’d still be left trying to steer the buggy with the other arm. Two things cracked it - I got rid of the pram and got a new light weight cheapo buggy which she can climb in and out of herself. And I just refused to carry her anymore out and about - team effort as softie DH was the worse offender. It took about 3/4 days. Day one it took well over an hour to move more than 300 metres from the house! We had lying down on the pavement and everything. But it worked and now she walks or rides everywhere. We do get the occasional back sliding if DH does carry her about for some reason... but get back on track quite quickly. She’s also discovered the joy of walking... & poling everything with a stick...

daipaned · 07/02/2019 12:40

DC3 was like this. I just had to put up with the crying, I couldn't carry him as had DC4 in the pushchair or sling too. He did go on a buggy board quite nicely but used to randomly leap off Hmm

HoustonBess · 07/02/2019 12:40

Would going out with something to push like a dolly pram work? Or letting him push the pram a bit? I agree I don't think you should just let him call the shots completely on this one - you could try a walk round the block every day, or even just 100m up the road and back.

Sometimes pretending to be a tractor/lorry helps...

AntheaGreenfern · 07/02/2019 12:43

I remember this too. It's very frustrating.
I did cry in the street at least once as i couldn't always physically lift him into the buggy so I was relying on some level of cooperation.

His crying is not a failure. Tell him you have to get out to buy things, that was always my line: we need to buy food to eat..or we need to go home now. Tough I know.x

Cornettoninja · 07/02/2019 12:47

Yeah, my dd has a phase like this, although she wanted to walk more. I was lucky and had a library and a couple of classes within in a ten minute (adjust to half an hour for toddler walking inspection of the pavement) walk at the time. She wasn’t guaranteed either and I’ve had my fair share of standing in the street whilst my child is on the floor screaming at me. I just couldn’t carry her (long-standing back issues), even with a sling.

We moved over a holiday time and I was considering dropping one of her classes because it was just too far to walk with those kinds of shenanigans and when she spotted the buggy one day after we’d moved she wanted to get in it. We’d had it folded up and put away for ages so I think it was a novelty all of a sudden.

Now she’s a mixture of walking and in the buggy when she’s tired. She’s three now, I suspect we wouldn’t use the buggy at all if I drove but we have to cover a lot of ground for little legs and I’m not really keen to go back to pavement entertainment!

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