To ask what happens if you report something to school (safeguarding)?

[Cuntforthebutter]

Long time user but NC'ed for this post.

Feeling a bit guilty about this and wondered what may happen as a result?

On the school run this morning I witnessed an incident between a parent and child and I called the school (different school to my DC but could tell from the uniform) to tell them.

I don't want to go into details about what the incident was but nothing abusive, just indicative (imo) that the mum might need a bit of support.

I phrased it in that vein to the school, that it could be an isolated incident and we all have those stressful mornings sometimes but the mum might want a chat and to see if she needs some help.

My intentions were nothing bit good but I'm now feeling incredibly guilty. Does anyone know what school will do with this information?

I think you did the right thing and were brave to do that.
I have seen something along similar lines but have been too scared to speak out so watching this with interest. I am worried about any repercussions to the child or even myself. (Such a coward)

You did the right thing OP. I know there are lots of horror stories about social services but they genuinely DID help and support me when I needed it (PND) and I really do believe the majority go in with support as their primary objective.

Thank you

Well done. Now, take a deep breath as you will never know any more of it and you should stop feeling guilty.

What should happen is that the schools designated officer will be told and they will liaise with any relevant organisations. They may well already have the family on their list and will be able to alert the correct support agencies.

Basically what you have done is alerted the peole who can help to a family that may need it. And that is what safeguarding is all about, at heart!

I’m kind of confused as to what type of situation that (if not abusive) indicated a parent you don’t seem to know needed reporting to a school. With little information, it’s difficult to tell if you were being helpful, or nosy and over invested.

What should happen is that the schools designated officer will be told and they will liaise with any relevant organisations. They may well already have the family on their list and will be able to alert the correct support agencies.

That wouldn’t the first step in my school (DSL here). We would speak with colleagues and the child’s class teacher who may already be aware of any stresses in the family. If this is a simple case of a Mum being under stress, it’s a long way from a phone call to other agencies.

Can you give anymore information, was it verbal, was the DM angry, sad, what made you think it requires safeguarding.
I agree of you felt it did, then report. I am just wondering how it played out. Did you know the child or just describe them to the school.

They'll give it to Safeguarding who'll decide how to progress with it.

Sometimes they gather extra information from Teachers/Support Staff. They speak to the child, not about the incident, but just as a chat. Children give a lot away, chatting. This should be done by a trained member of Staff, otherwise the child could be led or influenced etc.

They'll then decide what to do. If it's verbal abuse, then the outcome is usually a Parenting class, as well as being asked if any other support is needed.

Depends what it was tbh. If it wasnt abusive then without more information I thinkit was abit OTT

X post.

Oh god was that me?! I was so stressed and ended up shouting on the school run.

whatsthepointthen, obviously the OP thought it was abusive.

Some people get into the habit of being verbally abusive, or they've gone into that because they are in an abusive relationship. It becomes the norm to communicate like that.

It then can lead to emotional abuse.

No-one is going in, hysterical and wanting to disrupt the Family.

They speak to the child, not about the incident, but just as a chat. Children give a lot away, chatting. This should be done by a trained member of Staff, otherwise the child could be led or influenced etc.

All staff one chopls innori LA reveive safguarding trains which emphasises the need to listen to the child and not ask leading questions. So in our schools, all staff are trained to support children in this way.

But again, on the basis of the information in the OP, we wouldn’t have a “chat” with a child who might otherwise present as totally fine in school.

Wtf did I type there

I'm curious about the incident, if it wasn't abusive then it can't have been physical or verbal (I.e swearing and ranting at the child)

I'm not sure of what else it could have been to warrant you calling school safeguarding, was it just a stressed parent with a dawdling child or rushing to avoid being late to school?

MrsPear, its never just shouting.

It might be name calling, threatening that the child will have to live with someone else, or be left alone.

Unfortunately it's still minimised by many, but it destroys confidence, self worth etc.

whatsthepointthen, obviously the OP thought it was abusive.

No, the op specifically said

I don't want to go into details about what the incident was but nothing abusive, just indicative (imo) that the mum might need a bit of support.

I think if it wasn't abusive it might have been a bit OTT to ring safeguarding if you don't know any background.
Unless you see them every morning and it's the same routine.

In our school the information would be passed to the safeguarding officer and - I can only speak for primary and my own at that - we would probably already know about the family. It helps build a picture so don’t feel bad about calling it’s really important so that we can direct support where it’s needed and yes, when necessary inform other agencies.

FamilyOfAliens, they Staff certainly aren't in the schools I've had dealings with, as a CP SW.

The pastrol care in general has been poor.

The schools are all in deprived areas, with lots of issues. Underfunding is chronic and those with pupils with SEN and English, not as a first language, or limited, really struggle to manage.

If it wasn't abusive, was it lack of warm clothing, definitely need more information to decide if yabu or not.
If I saw someone struggling but not being abusive I would ask if they were ok in a gentle manner.

Sorry I am being vague but I don't want to go into details on here. It wasn't physically abusive. Emotionally...maybe? She was shouting but really shouting. I mean, I got the impression it was more than simply being a stressed mum trying to get her child to school if that makes sense. She was really going to town on the child who wasn't really doing anything wrong (I appreciate I didn't see what had happened earlier in the morning to make her lose the plot). I've been there too!

Thanks for confirming

DoneLikeAKipper, the OP might mean abusive, as in physical.

Services now recognise, verbal abuse, as that, abuse. Emotional abuse is now significant harm.

As it is for Adults and reflected in the new Laws.

We would write down what had been said, speak to the safeguarding person in school and with the class teacher who may know if there are any personal issues the parent has discussed which might explain a parent being stressed.
If not abusive the head might have a chat with Mum.

We definitely wouldn't be calling social services for a one off stressed non abusive incident unless it added to a bigger picture of concern.

She was shouting but really shouting.

You say it wasn't abusive, but clearly such shouting and anger is abusive behaviour. You were right to report, but your OP minimises what she was doing.