Opinions on our morning routine please

[Eggomobile]

Not long gone back to work after maternity leave and still finding our feet.

I work 3 days a week at the same place as DH, both start at 9am.

So alarm goes off at 6.45 I get straight in the shower, do make up and get dressed. DH gets DD up about 7.10, changes her bum and gets her dressed with clothes I get out.

I come down, get all dds food, milk etc. (Prepared the night before) out the fridge to finish her bag. I load the car and then me and dd have to leave at 7.30 to get to childminders in time for her to do the school run.

I get to work about 5 to 9.

DH needs to leave home by 7.50 so has a further 20mins to get in the shower, get ready and then leave.

Had an argument with DH this morning because he got up at the same time as me (we snoozed for 9minutes) but did the bins and sorted his dry cleaning out and put a coffee until 7.20 when I asked if he was going to get dd up. He snapped that he was waiting for his coffee to boil and am I going to help with DD, his coffee time is my make up time.

Can you just get up earlier?

If you have to leave at 7.30 then I suggest getting up earlier, even if it's only by 15 minutes or so.

I'm not sure what you're asking?

I think you should share the drop-offs so you both have some mornings where you had a bit of time on your own. You should also share getting stuff ready for the baby the day before.

OP why not get up at 6 and you and your husband can have a coffee and breakfast together in peace? Makes for a more happier start to the day! Then you will have more than enough time to get organized with no stress...win win !

If you both work at the same place and start at the same time then surely you can share drop offs to make it fair.
You do one week and he can do the next.

A) Get up earlier

B) Does your husband do all the pick-ups? In this case, your arrangement is fair. If not, then you need to alternate who does morning drop-offs.

I would be so stressed getting up at 6.45 and having to be out the door by 7.30! (Even without a toddler!)

Do you have time for any breakfast? I'd agree with others- get up earlier, 6.15 so you can have a shower and do makeup in peace then have some breakfast/coffee or the other way around.

I hate my mornings being rushed even when I have to be out early!

Even with no children at home now I give myself an hour to get ready if I am working outside of home. That’s with my husband bringing tea in bed beforehand. I would feel continuously rushed if I only had 45 minutes including getting children ready.
Set the alarm for earlier and share jobs fairly. You do childminder drop whilst he tidies breakfast or vice versa.

Are you travelling separately or do you go back after the childminder run to get dh?

Are you finishing at the same time too? When dh is working and you aren't, does he do the childminder run?

Dh and I used to work at the same place. He had set shift times whereas I had flexibility working around core hours.

To save on double transport costs, i travelled in and home with him. Sometimes I would leave earlier, get kids, do a bit of shopping then go back for him.

But we would both pull our weight with the children and making sure everyone was ready to leave at the same time. Drop off to nursery on the way.

It meant I built up an extra 2 hours minimum a week of flexi time as I was 37 hour week to his 39.

It sounds like your dh dislikes having so much routine to his morning but considering you have children, it's not unreasonable that both of you pull your weight in regards to getting them ready.

But; if everything else was done and you were just waiting on dh getting baby ready, could you not have done it?

I suppose it depends on how your dh slipping with his allocates tasks is reflective of how he and you see your roles in the family. If he's normally a hands on dad then a one off isn't a concern. But if he has to be cajoled and encouraged to take an active parenting role I can see how frustrating him not doing his jobs is.

Incidentally, why do you get the clothes out? If he's dressing baby let him work out what he needs.

I agree it would be less stressful to get up earlier (might mean you need to go to bed earlier). How about showering at night time instead of morning. I do this now as I find mornings too busy and stressful. I don't smell and now love going to bed all clean.

As others say, Just Get up earlier!

Why are you doing all the drops offs? Does DH do all the pick ups? That 20 mins home alone to shower must be lovely for him... I suggest you alternate each week.

Do you drive? Do you travel separately to the same place. Why don't you drop DD off together, get up 30 mins earlier, get ready and have breakfasts with dd? Take it in turns to get dd ready and pack her stuff.

How far is your cm travelling to school, I'm surprised she needs everyone in the door for 7.30 to get to school on time.

I leave the house at 7.50 on work days. I have to be up at 6.20 (6.30 at the latest to not be rushing)

In my opinion that’s too late to get up and get yourselves and a toddler ready

Does DD not eat anything before she gets to childminder? She’s woken at 7.10am, hustled our the door to childminder who then takes her along to school drop-off. What time does she have milk/breakfast?

I have older children than yours, much more independent. I wake up nearly 2 hours before we leave the house so we can all eat breakfast together. Everyone just goes to bed a little earlier.

Finally, if you’re working 3 days out of 5, that means you’re home with DD 2 days, doing everything. To me it makes sense that DH does drop off those days so you can get to work on time, just like he gets to waltz out the door without worrying about DD 2 days a week.

If you work in the same place why are you taking two separate cars?

Why on earth aren’t you travelling together...? It’s nuts that you’re taking 2 cars to go to the same place at the same time.

not the point of the thread but I hate the phrase ‘changes her bum’ so much it just sounds so foul