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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have taken my son to nursery when he’s so tired?

25 replies

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 08:54

One of my twins (28 months, ASD and other disabilities) had an uncharacteristically bad night’s sleep last night - took him two hours to get to sleep which is standard, but within an hour he woke up crying so hard I thought he was choking on something.

Eventually managed to calm him down and I think he had trapped wind - he seemed to be in pain, and was farting and burping (unusual for him) and then settled after he had done a poo. Took him til after midnight to get to sleep. Woke up at 3:30 and didn’t go back to sleep so I got up with him just after 4. This is all very out of the ordinary for him - he rarely wakes in the night these days and when he does he’s generally content until he goes back to sleep even if that takes time.

He fell asleep for about half an hour before we had to leave for nursery. He’s obviously shattered and I feel really guilty about taking him in, although I’ve told them that if he needs to sleep that’s fine (he finishes at 1 and doesn’t normally sleep while he’s there, he has a nap when he gets home)

I think it’s because I’m not at work - if I were at work I’d have to send him in unless he was ill which he’s not, he has been fine since he got up apart from being tired. I’ve only had two hours sleep so I could really do with a rest myself. I was supposed to have a meeting this morning but it has been cancelled.

He’s in the baby room at the nursery due to his delays so they have cots etc where he can nap if he needs to. We started them at nursery because of their delays rather than because we really needed childcare, I’m hoping it will help with their social skills and I think it’s good for them so don’t want to keep them away unless they’re really not up to it.

Am I being ridiculous? They’ve only been going for a few weeks for two mornings a week so we are all still adjusting.

OP posts:
minipie · 07/02/2019 09:15

In those circumstances I would send an email (or quick call if no email) saying DC had a disturbed night and so may be very tired, please could they keep an eye on him and if they think he’d be better at home please say and you are happy to come get him. I’ve done this several times with my DC who were shocking sleepers. Usually they surprised me and were totally fine at nursery.

minipie · 07/02/2019 09:16

And no not ridiculous at all.

bobstersmum · 07/02/2019 09:22

I would have personally kept him off you could have all gone back to bed together!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/02/2019 09:27

I probably would have kept him off if I wasn’t in work if I’m honest.

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 09:28

Sadly going to bed together not an option - he will not lie down in our bed, on the sofa, anywhere but his own cot. The fact he fell asleep on the sofa this morning is unheard of! If I’d picked him up and put him back to bed I guarantee he would have woken up and kicked off - he has this strange thing where if he’s napped for a few minutes and then gets woken up, that’s him done until bed time, even when he’s shattered - very strange!

I spoke to the staff and said he was very tired and it was no problem for him to sleep if he wanted, and they can obviously call me if he needs to come home - I just feel really bad for taking him now, but am enjoying lying down in silence!

OP posts:
Bryjam · 07/02/2019 09:30

I would have kept him off, quite aside from being tired he is displaying symptoms (including the lack of sleep) of something not being quite right health wise. It would have been a stay home and see from me.

User12879923378 · 07/02/2019 09:32

I hesitated about taking my toddler into nursery because we'd only got back from holidays the day before. The nursery thought that it was a good idea to keep the routine of coming to nursery going, especially as she only started going a few weeks ago. If he was struggling to cope they would have phoned you so I think you can assume that it's going well.

woolduvet · 07/02/2019 09:32

Just an aside, he could be constipated.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/02/2019 09:33

Just enjoy your morning OP, he’s only there till 1pm so he can chill out this afternoon if he’s still tired, no point in feeling guilty just enjoy some peace and quiet Brew

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 09:35

I just felt ridiculous this morning thinking about keeping him off for being tired - week before last they both were kept off for a nasty cold, and I’m trying to get them settled in and used to the routine of it all. And although we are sending them for their benefit, I haven’t had a break for over two years, no family to help etc, and with their additional needs things are very full on, so I know the break is good for me too even though I struggle with it.

May have done the wrong thing here - I’m sure they’ll call if he’s struggling. Must try and make the most of the rest!

OP posts:
Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 07/02/2019 09:36

I would have sent him in. They will call you if he doesn't seem up to it, but in similar situations I have always found that DS perks up and has an absolutely normal day at nursery, then has a massive sleep at home.

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 09:40

Definitely not constipated - completely normal poos last night and this morning, no diarrhoea either. Last night when he was distressed he didn’t even want to drink (very weird for him) but following a giant belch he went back to drinking and went back to bed. I made sure he had no temperature or anything like that, if he’d seemed unwell this morning I definitely would have kept him off but he was smiling and babbling as normal, just tired.

Okay, I’m going to lie down until they need picking up or I get a call - I’m absolutely shattered.

OP posts:
Elphaba17 · 07/02/2019 09:49

I think you just need to stop overthinking it all. He is at nursery now so there is no point second guessing yourself. Get some sleep and stop being so hard on yourself.

FlyingCat · 07/02/2019 09:54

You dod exactly the right thing. Your kids need you in the best state possible too. He can rest if he needs to at nursery and you can catch up for a bit too. Baby room is not like upper rooms, if he needs a quiet restful day thats what he can have.

Bless you op you sound like you are doing amazingly.

minipie · 07/02/2019 11:45

he has this strange thing where if he’s napped for a few minutes and then gets woken up, that’s him done until bed time, even when he’s shattered

Totally normal IME (and very annoying!)

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 13:32

Well he’s home and in bed - hasn’t slept all morning, when I went in he was semi asleep on someone’s knee. He’s been fine but hasn’t eaten much or drunk much which is very unlike him - very hard to tell if he’s just exhausted or unwell, he has hypoglycaemia if he doesn’t eat enough but his levels are fine. As soon as I got him home he was grinning and bouncing as usual. I’m hoping he will feel better after a sleep but if not I’ll get him checked out to be safe - very hard to know what’s going on with kids who can’t talk at all or understand questions! Thanks for all your advice, this is all very new to me!

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 13:38

...and he’s currently using his cot as a trampoline 🙄

OP posts:
Fabaunt · 07/02/2019 13:44

Is there any chance the poor little pet might be coming down with something?

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 07/02/2019 13:45

I would have kept him off and went for a nap when he was napping when you collected him at 1.
I used to find that an unsettled night like that would mean an illness brewing
Hope he’s feeling ok and everyone gets some sleep tonight

Kismetjayn · 07/02/2019 13:50

I would have sent my DD in, either she would nap there or be worn out enough to nap when she got in. The nursery staff are there to look after him.

EhlanaOfElenia · 07/02/2019 13:50

...and he’s currently using his cot as a trampoline

He missed the memo that told him he should be sleepy... Grin

I think you did the right thing. He had the ability to sleep at nursery, but didn't need to. You managed to get some rest and are better able to deal with a crotchety child today and this evening - because overtired children can be difficult to get to bed at night.

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 13:53

It’s possible I suppose - I can normally tell from his behaviour (and his blood sugar levels) when he’s coming down with something but I haven’t seen any of those signs yet. Last night was very unusual and nothing like when he’s had stomach bugs in the past (last one was only in December) - very much seemed to be trapped wind to me. I really hope I haven’t sent him in unwell. Will see how he gets on.

I could barely keep my eyes open this morning (I have ME and fibromyalgia) so it was probably safest for them to be at nursery while I had a sleep, but still feel bad if he’s ill! Hopefully not and he will be okay after a sleep - certainly he’s not sleeping yet (although it’s common for him to take ages to get to sleep, he was so tired when I picked him up I thought he’d be out like a light)

OP posts:
GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 09/02/2019 10:56

How’s your ds doing op? Did you manage to get some rest in?

Dotty1970 · 09/02/2019 15:49

Ynbu get a rest whilst you can x

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 09/02/2019 15:55

I would probably have kept him off because he probably won't get much out of tif he's so tired but I doubt it'll do him any harm being there for a few hours.

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