I don't want him but don't want anyone else to have him

[erja]

My relationship is over (I think). I feel like we've been pretending everything's great for almost a year and wanting it to work more than it actually is. We were planning on TTC last month and now it's over. I'm a bit all over the place.
I know it's probably for the best, we don't bring out the best sides of each other. I'm not happy. I felt slightly relieved when it seemed to come to a head where it ended. But now, I'm sitting panicked because - although I feel like this is the right thing in the long run - I can't help but be in absolute fear about him meeting someone else/hooking up with someone else and I'm getting ridiculously stressed. How do I get through that? Am I just being a brat?

I think it's quite common and wouldn't beat yourself up over it. I'd get some distance, if I were you. Go NC, at least for a while, until you're OK with the idea of you both moving on. Then just try not to think about it.

It will hurt when he moves on, but it’s because it’s clearly so raw. Give yourself a little time and it won’t feel so bad, you’ll also feel a bit better and ready to move on too

The death of a relationship is like a bereavement - you have to go through all the stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. No one person goes through those stages in the same way, and you might skip a stage, but until you accept the relationship is over, then you wont move on with your life either.

Take time to heal, be kind to your self. But above all remember that you weren't a good match together, even though independently you're both nice people

I love a bit of armchair psychology early in the day, any one else want to hop on my couch.

I don't think you're being a brat at all. IMO this is a normal feeling - I know I would feel the same as you. I remember in a previous post you said you had a toddler, is he the dad? (No offense intended).

Aslong as you feel as though it's the right thing for you, I've no advice but just try to stay strong and as positive as possible.

@Fiona0x yes, he's the dad (and no offence taken!)

@erja that makes it harder because you can't exactly go NC. How are you feeling?

Aww im sorry to hear your relationship is over. Its hard to face up to the reality that you will no longer be a couple. It can be scary thinking about the other person moving on and in your head you tend to paint a rose coloured picture of what it will be like for them and you imagin perfect days out you probably wanted for the two of you.
Dont beat yourself up. Its normal to feel like this. For all you know your ex could be feeling the same.
Give yourself time and try to concentrate on building a good friendship with each other for your DC.
You will BOTH move on in time and it would be better for everyone if both couples can all communicate. I have friends who split when child was small and they now regularly go out in company with new partners. Ex DH and new wife even took her in for a while to look after her when she was very ill. They are now like one big extended family around DC.
I hope everything works out for all of you

Its unreasonable but also very normal and understandable! Give yourself time - it will pass.