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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be quietly gutted for my beautiful DD

176 replies

namechange505 · 07/02/2019 07:21

DD had an accident at school a couple of years ago and fell into some concrete causing quite a bit of damage to her front teeth. This week she had felt one of the fillings that the dentist had used to cap and rebuild one of her teeth moving slightly. We made an appointment on Tues yesterday to check it out and then another one yesterday after school to replace the filling.

Unfortunately at yesterday's appointment it became apparent that her tooth had split quite badly and part of it had to be removed. The split went beneath the gum-line resulting in extensive work to try to cover the exposed nerve and rebuild some semblance of a tooth temporarily. (Apologies if anyone is squeamish…) She was in the chair for over 3 hours and is on strong painkillers and antibiotics. She was understandably very upset by the whole thing. Sad

She is going to need some serious dental work going forward, likely she will lose the tooth altogether but we will know more in a few days. Unfortunately there was very little tooth left to work with and the resulting temporary fix is very fragile. The dentist is speaking with colleagues tomorrow to see what the best course of action is but likely an extraction and false tooth on a plate followed by a bridge until she's 18 when they can start looking at an implant. Sad Sad

I ended up googling teens with broken teeth to see if there were any success stories (I know...) but all I could find were stories from people who "luckily didn't lose the tooth" or "luckily they were able to put a cap on it" but that's unlikely in my DD's case.

She's had lots of cuddles and is being very stoic about the whole thing. I keep telling her (and myself) that there are far worse problems to have and that nobody is seriously ill or dying. It's just a tooth and we'll get it sorted.

But AIBU to be quietly gutted for her that she's losing a tooth so young due to a stupid accident? Anyone have any positive stories about similar situations that might cheer her up?

OP posts:
xyzandabc · 07/02/2019 09:22

DH lost most of his front tooth at around 15. He had a cap on it until age 20 he had another accident which knocked it out again.

I've just asked him about it. He actually has 3 false front teeth as he couldn't afford an implant so they filed the 2 teeth either side down and used those to stick a bridge on to. I don't know the technical terms. It's lasted the 20 years so far.

To get to the point, we've been together 22 years, including when he knocked it out the 2nd time and I've only just found out today that he has 3 false front teeth !! I only thought it was the one! No-one else would know unless he tells them. So it's traumatic at the time but not the end of the world long term.

xyzandabc · 07/02/2019 09:22

DH lost most of his front tooth at around 15. He had a cap on it until age 20 he had another accident which knocked it out again.

I've just asked him about it. He actually has 3 false front teeth as he couldn't afford an implant so they filed the 2 teeth either side down and used those to stick a bridge on to. I don't know the technical terms. It's lasted the 20 years so far.

To get to the point, we've been together 22 years, including when he knocked it out the 2nd time and I've only just found out today that he has 3 false front teeth !! I only thought it was the one! No-one else would know unless he tells them. So it's traumatic at the time but not the end of the world long term.

xyzandabc · 07/02/2019 09:22

DH lost most of his front tooth at around 15. He had a cap on it until age 20 he had another accident which knocked it out again.

I've just asked him about it. He actually has 3 false front teeth as he couldn't afford an implant so they filed the 2 teeth either side down and used those to stick a bridge on to. I don't know the technical terms. It's lasted the 20 years so far.

To get to the point, we've been together 22 years, including when he knocked it out the 2nd time and I've only just found out today that he has 3 false front teeth !! I only thought it was the one! No-one else would know unless he tells them. So it's traumatic at the time but not the end of the world long term.

Dungeondragon15 · 07/02/2019 09:24

I empathise. Both my DDs lost front teeth in a traffic accident a couple of years ago and I still feel gutted about it. I know it will be okay eventually but in the meantime it is very hard to see them suffer,

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/02/2019 09:25

My son lost a tooth in a cycling accident and has an implant - you could never tell. The dentist matched it to his natural tooth colour and everything.

This isn't much consolation for your poor DD at the most self-conscious time of her life, and of course, she's in a massive amount of pain at the moment, too, but there is so much that can be done now to get a good cosmetic effect.

Bloomburger · 07/02/2019 09:26

This happened to DDs best friend. Had to wear a bridge till 18 then was offered an implant but she's quite happy with her bridge.

morningconstitutional2017 · 07/02/2019 09:27

I flew over the handlebars of my tricycle when I was about 7 and cracked a front tooth, decades it started to darken. Pondered over this and then fell down the stairs last year and knocked it out, fracturing the two beside it. I've had the 1st stage of implants and have been told by friends that it's totally worth it - if expensive.

I feel for your DD - at 14 she's going to be very self-conscious as many teenagers. All you can do is get the best advice and comfort her by telling her that it will all come right in the end. It's not what happens to you - it's how you feel about what happens to you which makes all the difference. If this had happened to me when I was 14 rather than 64 I would have been much more self-conscious about it. Best wishes.

newnameforthis7 · 07/02/2019 09:30

Aww your poor DD. Sad

As a number of posters have said though, dentistry is amazing these days, and can work miracles. She will have a dental implant (or 2) in a few months, and you won't be able to tell. In a year or so, she won't care about this anymore. Smile

Many years ago (pre 1980's) dentists didn't give a shit about peoples teeth - all they wanted to do was make money, by filling any tooth that was available for filling, and wrecking the teeth of 10's of 1000's of people. I don't know anyone over 45 who hasn't got a mouthful of fillings. Many of them had 5 to 10 fillings before they were 16.

Now however, dentists are far better, and do everything they can to make your teeth look good. And as I said, dentistry is amazing.

Give your DD a hug from me. Bless her. Poor thing. Flowers

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/02/2019 09:31

I lost both my front teeth when I was 8 (they had just grown in). I had caps and bridges until I was 15 then I had crowns fitted. I've had the same ones since and it's absolutely fine. I'm looking at having them replaced soon but I've had them for nearly two decades!

bengalcat · 07/02/2019 09:32

Clearly I had a good dentist as I’m over 45 and only have two fillings

Bearsinmotion · 07/02/2019 09:32

I had a similar thing - damaged both front teeth badly as a child, got an infection in the root of one so the nerve died. Had quite extensively rebuilt as a teenager (not technically an implant but goes right up into the root). Was told it would need replacing in the next few years.

Am now 43. Tooth is still fine :)

WhatHaveIFound · 07/02/2019 09:32

namechange505 were you with the private dentist when the accident happened? If you're on a payment plan it might cover dental trauma. Our does and our (private) dentist made a claim at the time for future treatment so there's money set aside for my DD's eventual implant.

My DS was also referred back to the NHS for braces and qualified for free treatment so that might be something worth looking into?

Dental work is just so expensive!

Twotome · 07/02/2019 09:32

I have had a maryland bridge since a teen because my adult tooth just never grew through.
It is right at the front but noone notices it isn't real (including when i was at school).
I keep meaning to get an implant but I guess it just doesn't really bother me much. Not ideal for your DD, but these 4 years will fly and they really can make them look so real.

icannotremember · 07/02/2019 09:36

My mum had all her front teeth knocked out aged 16 in a hockey match. She remains one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She has dentures and says it took only a few months for her to feel like she'd always had dentures. A few years ago my dad had some sort of work insurance thing that would have paid for implants if she'd wanted them and she said no, not worth it given that she'd been fine for decades with the dentures!

icannotremember · 07/02/2019 09:38

Oh and re the snogging- DH had some front teeth removed and got falsies when we'd been together a few months- never affected his ability in that area for a moment and I genuinely didn't notice a difference.

theDudesmummy · 07/02/2019 09:44

Sorry to hear this but as lots of others have said, please tell her when it is fixed no-one will know.

My grandfather lost several of his front teeth in the Second World War, when I am sure dental techniques were very primitive compared to now. You could not tell that he had a fixed bridge. And my husband lost his two top front teeth in a car accident about 15 years ago and you cannot tell he has had implants, they look completely like normal teeth, I only knew they were implants because he told me. (I also have an implant but it is a back tooth so appearance does not matter much, just there for the chewing function!)

Bellendejour · 07/02/2019 09:45

I broke two front teeth and lost one entirely in a bike accident when I was 11. I have a bridge (just had it redone) and it looks fab, no one ever thinks I have false teeth (and certainly no boyfriends have ever noticed). The only real downsides are the expense and having to be careful (this cost about 2k all in with whitening so want it to last!). If you don’t focus on it or make your daughter feel conscious (which it doesn’t sound like you’re doing) she will be fine. Also after so much treatment I actually like going to the dentist which a lot of people can’t say Smile

Toddlerteaplease · 07/02/2019 09:46

My dad has had a plate since he was 21. You'd honestly never know.

Original poster
namechange505 · 07/02/2019 09:48

@WhatHaveIFound no unfortunately our dental cover changed when DH changed jobs and so only restarts in March. So we're not covered for the immediate work but might be for any future work, we'll have to see!

I'll look into the NHS side as the surgeon works out of NHS for some days and privately for others so maybe we can be referred that way. Problem is we need to move quite quickly as the temporary covering won't last.

Thank you again everyone for the support and the stories, she's home with me today and carefully eating toast. I think the shock is starting to wear off and she's on good painkillers!

OP posts:
Tinty · 07/02/2019 09:49

I went over the top of my bike at 8 and knocked both my front teeth forward and they went yellow. I used to hate it and never smiled showing my teeth. I had braces for years, they never moved.

When I had my DS a different dentist said to me that my teeth were dead. He removed them and I had two caps of beautiful pearly white teeth. I smile all the time now and it is 22 years later. I have had to have them replaced once. I love my new (old) teeth.

My Dad also went over the top of his bike at 15 and knocked all his teeth out! He has a plate and has had to have it replaced twice, he is now 66.

vampirethriller · 07/02/2019 09:51

My best friend broke his front two teeth age 17 by diving into a swimming pool that wasn't deep enough and hitting the bottom. He's got a bridge which absolutely nobody could tell isn't real teeth.
I broke a front tooth in half and they rebuilt it with a plastic type stuff, even I can't see the join.

Tinty · 07/02/2019 09:52

You don't have to pay for her treatment do you? Even at my private dentist any work on children's teeth is free until they are 18. Obviously your teeth have to be bad to qualify for a free brace but surely repair work after an accident is free?

Girlofgold · 07/02/2019 09:53

Sympathies op. I think at this age lots of kids still have massive braces and all sorts going on etc so teeth issues are not uncommon. Easily said I know. I have an jmplant. The process was a bit unpleasant (about 60-90 minutes of mouth work, but worth it. I would say not all implant dentists are equal- find the best one with (least rates of infection is one measure as I remember). I wouldn't go to Budapest due to aftercare access- you have follow ups and all that jazz to check all is good. Good luck. Hopefully she'll come to regard it as a war story and nothing else x

peachgreen · 07/02/2019 09:54

I used to work in the dental industry. It's a pain that she'll have to wait to get her implant but bridges etc are very good these days and it will be invisible. And then she'll get her implant and honestly, implants are better than real teeth! Once it's done it'll never give her any bother and will look perfectly natural. YANBU of course but you're doing the right thing in being strong for her. Thanks

Original poster
namechange505 · 07/02/2019 10:03

Thank you - it's very reassuring to hear what marvellous things they can do these days. I think it's just the immediate shock of hearing that she has to lose a tooth at such a young age. She's always looked after them so carefully as well! Angry

I've heard so many stories of kids at school losing teeth during rugby/hockey matches!

@Girlofgold thanks for the advice, we'll certainly do some checking when the time comes.
@peachgreen that is music to my ears, thank you!

OP posts: