What would you do if your friend was self harming

[jungle22]

Just thatreally

I would report to local mental health crisis team.

Log it with 101.

@saucyjack - what would you expect the police to do?

Its a mental health issue, not a criminal matter

You can't log something like this with 101

Surely talk to them first before getting other people involved?!

The person has to want to seek help. You cant drag them to A&E, you cant make them stop. It's a difficult call.

I would report to local mental health crisis team

Unless OP's friend actually wants to engage with their service, the Crisis Team won't be able to do anything.

I think Saucy was joking...I hope.

Take them out. Talk to them. Be present. Be a friend. That's all I'd do at this point if I'd found out

Just talk to them, let them know you’re there. Definitely don’t phone 101 and don’t report them to a mental health crisis team if you want to retain their friendship. The exception would be if you believed they were likely to commit suicide or accidentally do serious harm (unlikely in most adult self harmers) or if they are under 18 I suppose.

Most adult self harmers are not suicidal, it’s a coping tactic. Albeit not a very good one.

It may be advice that they offer, like how to support the friend.

I would ask them if they were ok?

I don’t know actually I wouldn’t have a clue what the best, or worst thing to do in this position would be!

"Do you want to stop?"
"I am here to help when/if you do".

That's as much as you can do.

Me neither @Tunnocks, that's why I suggested contacting the mental health team.

Speaking as someone with a long history of self-harm, listen to them. Ask them what they need. Ask them what they would like you to do, how can you help. Sometimes just a hug or an acknowledgement that they are valued and/or going through a tough time is all that is needed.

Don't go behind their backs to someone else. Support them rather than taking control away from them. Self-harming can be a way of feeling control in a situation, of releasing endorphins in order to cope with a situation where you feel helpless and in mental agony.

Unless they’re actively suicidal (with intent not just ideation) then I would never contact crisis teams etc!

I have a long history of self harm, I’ve never needed more medical treatment than steristrips and dressings which i apply myself, I would not thank a friend who betrayed my confidence by reporting me to anyone.

Just be there. Keep them company, distract them, let them know you love them.

Exactly

If you’re concerned of significant risk then actually you can contact the police as they can complete welfare checks. It’s not about being a criminal matter.

Its not a police matter and there's not a lot you can do asides from the sorts of things they're probably lacking.

I was isolated, alone, all the stresses of my household on my head solely, so many things going on, massive mental load to carry, bored, desperate and the cmht weren't helping me in the slightest. This time last year i was cutting so much thst the keloids i have from it are very raised, red and angry even now. I needed a friend, nearby, i needed to be understood, heard, validated, wanted.

I hear you

OP, can I ask how old you are please? It might make some advice more relevant or helpful x

'I will always be here. And i know you do this out of strength and not weakness'

I self harmed for probably 5 years. Getting professionals involved would have been the absolute worse thing to do. It was a coping mechanism, not an attempt at suicide.

Self-harming is a coping mechanism.
Encourage them to see a counsellor or therapist, and encourage them to practice other coping mechanisms e-g journalling, going out with friends and doing fun things, getting creative, getting into some form of exercise (it really does release endorphins and make you feel happy).
Self harm occurs in the context of bigger problems like an anxiety disorder, depression, addictions, etc. It's a symptom, and not the only thing to worry about with this friend. Don't make every interaction about the self harm, but make it about helping that friend feel better about themselves as a whole.

Knowing a lot of you will vehemently disagree with this, here's the truth -

I'd tell them that I've now managed 20 years without cutting myself, but I do understand. I'd make sure their tetanus jab id's up to date, and then talk to them about ways to do it as safely as possible {antiseptic, keep it shallow, use a clean blade, cover with a dressing etc)*. I would offer them to come and talk to me if they need to, or just need company. Support, not nag.

Because asking them too stop, making them promise to stop etc won't work.it just adds to the pressure.
And Tbh mental health services don't consider it a crisis as they're so overstretched.

And to put it bluntly,it's better than ending up suicidal because you don't use the only way your mind and body knows to cope..