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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found out my boss was doing something that constituted gross misconduct at work...

52 replies

righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:11

...it put other people at risk. I told him directly I knew about it and he still didn't change, so I told his boss.

Next thing I heard my boss had resigned.

Everyone is gutted that he's gone and no one is talking to me.

I feel shit.

I know IWNBU to try and stop people getting hurt but people are acting like I'm the bad guy not my boss. WIBU? Should I have shut my mouth?

OP posts:
ChariotsofFish · 06/02/2019 21:12

Depends what he was doing.

Original poster
righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:13

He cut a load of safety precuations because the business was more cost-effective without them.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/02/2019 21:13

What was he doing

Mumof1DS · 06/02/2019 21:13

Not when it puts others at risk.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 06/02/2019 21:14

If it was something he shouldn't have been doing, he shouldn't have been doing it

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 06/02/2019 21:14

I whistle blew once, never again, massive cover up and my life was made absolute hell. And the abusive bitch is still teaching

BifsWif · 06/02/2019 21:14

If he was putting people at risk you absolutely did the right thing. You gave him a chance to change before reporting it, what else could you do?

Hold your head high.

Holidayshopping · 06/02/2019 21:16

Im trying to imagine what safety precautions there are that your colleagues would be fine about him not doing? Did they affect the staff?

Original poster
righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:18

Holidayshopping Wed 06-Feb-19 21:16:42
Im trying to imagine what safety precautions there are that your colleagues would be fine about him not doing? Did they affect the staff?

They didn't - and don't - know he wasnt doing them.

They affected the staff and our clients (who are vulnerable).

OP posts:
Original poster
righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:19

There are a handful of frontline staff affected. The office staff had/have no idea, were never in danger and think he's a great guy.

OP posts:
katienana · 06/02/2019 21:19

Can't you quietly tell a colleague the allegation?

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 06/02/2019 21:20

You did the right thing OP - and before anyone got hurt. Imagine how you would feel if you'd decided not to say anything and someone had got hurt because of your ex boss's actions.

PlinkPlink · 06/02/2019 21:23

You have done the right thing.

Your colleagues may be upset but you were doing your job. In time I'm sure they will see that.

Cutting safety precautions can result in a fine for your company. It can result in imprisonment in some cases, for your bosses. If something had happened, an official investigation would have happened and then the finger would be pointed at you, at your boss and your boss's boss.

That's only from a health and safety perspective.

If it's a safeguarding issue, it's far worse.

In either case, you have done the right thing and you should be damn proud you did so despite knowing he was your boss and despite knowing his popularity with other staff.

Holidayshopping · 06/02/2019 21:25

If no one knows he’s done anything wrong, why is no one asking to you?

Original poster
righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:26

Thank you for your support. I feel so blue and awful. I don't know why I put this in AIBU, I just want reassurance.

PlinkPlink

"That's only from a health and safety perspective.

If it's a safeguarding issue, it's far worse."

It's both Sad and he tried to make me feel like I was overreacting, or being anxiou, weird, totally in the wrong. I feel like hes been gaslighting me for months.

I'm gutted.

OP posts:
Original poster
righthandedandlefteyed · 06/02/2019 21:27

Holidayshopping Wed 06-Feb-19 21:25:01
If no one knows he’s done anything wrong, why is no one asking to you?

They know he and I "fell out" then he resigned.

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 06/02/2019 21:27

I'm guessing you work in a care home or similar?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 06/02/2019 21:28

Have you had a few other threads about this? If not, someone else is in a similar position and I will try to find you the link as it might help.

If that is you, it sounds like there were some more issues than just this one so surely your colleagues will realise it’s for the best?

movinonup · 06/02/2019 21:31

OP you feel terrible now, I get it, But you'd feel a damn sight worse if someone had been hurt by his actions.
Try and console yourself with that.
If the staff continue to be shitty with you I would have no qualms in telling them exactly what went on.

LunaLunitaLunera · 06/02/2019 21:33

I have whistle blown many many times. I usually get bullied out of the job. (Care worker) It's not worth it.

JamPasty · 06/02/2019 21:35

Good on you OP, you have done a brave and good thing! Hugs

Bringbackthestripes · 06/02/2019 21:35

Flowers you have done the right thing.

MollysLips · 06/02/2019 21:38

Why not just tell everyone what he was doing? He's left. You've not got much to lose, have you? In case you're worried he'll find out...

Could you explain to his boss that everyone who's in the dark seems to be blaming you for the loss to the team, and really you could do with some support/back-up?

Sarahjconnor · 06/02/2019 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollysLips · 06/02/2019 21:39

Not "In case" -- I meant "unless"