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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for not wanting to go to another boot sale?

54 replies

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 18:45

Let me preface this by saying that DH and I are American's so what I really mean is swap meet, but apparently, it is close enough.

We have been going to these swap meets for over a decade, but something has changed. We normally go at night, which has more to choose from and better food. We could go in the morning but it's mostly antiques dealers with overpriced trinkets.

Last time we went was last year, about 4 months ago. DH got into a huge row with a lady who cut in front of us, while we waited for a parking space. She was swearing like a sailor in front of her kids. I told DH to take a deep breath and find another spot. She even gave us the finger as we were leaving.

The time before that DH and I had a great time listening to music, eating señora hot dogs enjoying the cool night air. When we left the swap meet, to find our car, we noticed someone had made a ball of mud and threw it at the back of our windshield.

We do have a sporty car (not a BMW or Porsche) but it is a nice convertible. However, I think we earned it, in that we both come from extremely poor backgrounds, (he grew up in a trailer, I grew up near a crackhouse and was homeless for a year] we are child free (so not taking food away from our child's mouths) and we have never been given any money except a small inheritance of 1,000 USD which I gave to DH as a present. Everything we have, we've earned.

Now, I'm afraid to go back in case the same thing happens again. DH thinks it was just a coincidence and maybe we should try in the mornings. Who is right? Who is wrong?

Thank you MN! Smile

OP posts:
MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 19:27

Anyone?

He really wants to go this weekend.

Thanks! Smile

OP posts:
MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 22:39

Is this post a bad one? Unfortunately, it's a real question I need answers to. The event is this weekend.

Should I just report it myself? Hmm

Bueller? Bueller?

OP posts:
Escapenextyear · 06/02/2019 22:44

Are these ‘swap meetss’ code words for adult parties ?
If you don’t wanna go, let DH go and let him have a good time with his hot dogs

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 06/02/2019 22:45

So in a nutshell, you want to go out, but you think someone is going to throw mud at your car?

Just tell your DH not to shout at people .

Problem solved.

PS - what is 'swap meet' - is some sort of sex orgy in a field?

Originallymeonly · 06/02/2019 22:45

Realistically, is the stroppy lady likely to be there again? Might she have thrown the mud ball?
If it was me, I'd go, but say that if it was as bad as last time, you won't go back.
You might actually have a good time.

PentreBachCymraeg · 06/02/2019 22:45

Escape 😂

AwkwardPaws27 · 06/02/2019 22:50

Maybe stick a sign on your windscreen informing the peasants that you have earned your right to a nice car, so please don't throw mud at it? Grin

Ariela · 06/02/2019 22:50

It was a while ago, so chances are whoever threw the mud might not be there again. Of course it might not have been aimed at your car perhaps it was aimed at somebody and missed? Do you want to go? If not don't! Try a different venue, perhaps one further afield

Ifangyow · 06/02/2019 22:55

I have no idea what a swap meet is, however I think it's unlikely that she will be there this time round.
Go and enjoy yourself.

DeRigueurMortis · 06/02/2019 22:55

Hi OP,

I think given this is a predominantly UK site that the term "swap meet" has some unfortunate connotations here (a bit like a "fanny pack" aka bum bag).

I know you explained this but it's going to attract some comments.

As you've described I think you've just had a bad experience and it would be a shame not to go again - assuming it's something you actually enjoy.

The person who cut in front of you was very rude (and tbh us Brits are pretty pedantic when it comes to queuing etiquette) but having a "huge row" (and quite how huge was it?) seems excessive.

It's not something I'd give much thought to if I'm honest.

The chances of you encountering this person again is small.

Your background and finances are no one else's business either.

So put simply - do you want to go again based on whether you enjoy it and your husband can behave rather than be intimidated by someone very rude?

Rtmhwales · 06/02/2019 23:03

A swap meet is just like a boot sale in the UK as she said. It's just American. It came from older days where people would kind of barter or swap goods rather than sell them on but it's more of a organized thing now - lots of people selling their unwanted, mostly used items on tables at like an empty fairground etc. It's not code for anything sexual.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:06

Escapenextyear, No, thanks for giving me a giggle though! They're just held from 7am -9pm and people lay blankets or have tables where they sell their goods for very reasonable prices.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking My husband never shouted at anybody (at least she could not hear. He shouted and cursed in the car, and rightly so. We were waiting for that space for a good solid 5 minutes until this lady in a big SUV swerved in front of us and took our place. I told him to breathe through his nose and shake it off. We found a separate space just ahead so it worked out. This was the second time we went.

The first time someone threw a giant clump of mud at our back windshield. It scared the crap out of me.

WE haven't had this car for long, only about 5 years. Before that we had a Cavalier. We went to the swap meet at all hours and nothing like that ever happened.

A thought just came to me. He does have Veterans plates. Is its possible that he was targeted because he is a vet?

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 06/02/2019 23:09

Given the reverence I've experienced in the US for service personnel, I doubt it.

Frankly I'd like to see a lot more of that (i.e. support for our armed forces) in the UK.

PurplePepperEater · 06/02/2019 23:12

Confused this is really weird

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:14

Why?

OP posts:
Saz41 · 06/02/2019 23:16

Glad it was swap meet,and not swap meat!!

FadedRed · 06/02/2019 23:18

Had a smile at some of the posts. Grin We are a dirty-minded lot at times on MN.
To answer your question, Op, if the mudslinger has only attacked once, then maybe put it down to some random stupid person. If these events are something you’ve enjoyed for years, then give it another go. If it happens a second time then rethink.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:19

DeRigueurMortis, that's very true! However, I was just thinking maybe it was someone who couldn't get in, or had different politics? I don't know! I'm SO confused! Confused I really really really really want to go this weekend! The rains supposed to let up, and he has this weekend off. Plus, he's been wanting to go for awhile now, and It's me that's always cautious. Should we just go?

Or maybe I can borrow his mom's car? What do ya think? Bad idea? Good idea?

OP posts:
Squigglesworth · 06/02/2019 23:19

It really doesn't matter how you managed to afford the car. A grown-up trust-fund baby doesn't deserve to have his/her car targeted, either.

I doubt you've been targeted for the vet plates. It's possible, but seems unlikely.

If you enjoy going at night, I'd give it one more try, personally. If something happens, you can say "never again", but more likely it'll be fine.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:26

Squigglesworth, fair point taken, you are right. Thank you for your response.

Saz41 I know, right! Talk about lost in translation! I thought I did well with the title of the OP though! Smile

FadedRed I think you're right! I'll talk to him about it tonight. Maybe it was just to bad things that happened close together. Who knows? I tell him I want to go this weekend and he should be thrilled! We always have such a lovely time their and the night time ambience and deals are always better than the mornings.

Thanks ALL!!!!!!! [GRIN] Flowers Brew

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 06/02/2019 23:29

Go and have a nice time.

As a pp has said if it happens again then revisit the situation.

Don't pfaff with different cars. You need to know you're fine with the current status quo.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:35

DeRigueurMortis, thank you!

However, I looked up some words online in your last sentence and I don't know what it means. Just talk to me like a 5 year old American girl. I won't take offense. Thanks! Grin

OP posts:
MissLanesAmericanCousin · 06/02/2019 23:45

particularly the word "pfaff" Thank you!

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 07/02/2019 00:24

I have no idea but I like the idea of ' listening to music, eating señora hot dogs enjoying the cool night air' whilst at an American car boot sale.

Is it in the South? Do you have a drawl?

namechange5575 · 07/02/2019 00:25

I'm guessing pfaff is a typo for faff, which means a hassle, or dithering, if that helps.