Driving Anxiety

[2manybiscuits]

I passed my test 19 months ago. I worry every day about being in a crash. I'm glad I can Drive but Hate it. I Hate traffic and find some roads so confusing. I thought when I passed my test I would be able to Drive on any road anywhere in the uk. That has not been the case. I don't feel that I should be driving 4 hours on a very busy motorway ( to visit my friend) I wish I did have confidence. I guess if my Anxiety makes me worry should i be avoiding driving? I wish I loved driving I wish I could drive from North to South with no Anxiety or worries. Any advice - (I know I could be opening myself up to get off the roads) should i continue to only drive local and places I know and definitely not drive on a motorway/long distance?

I'm the same. Please don't drive on roads that make you so anxious that you become a less safe driver. I had extra lessons so I am now confident to drive on a busy dual carriageway to work but I got the train until that point. You could consider extra lessons or Pass Plus?

You do have my sympathy, it's very frustrating.

I've been driving for over 30 years now and have never taken to it naturally. I usually just drive on fairly local roads, or routes I know well and am happy with.

I could have written your post many times over. I've never really managed to like driving, I do it because I have to as we are quite rural and public transport isn't great.

There's nothing wrong with remaining a local driver if that's what suits you. I don't drive long distances. I will get the bus or drive to the nearest station and get a train.

You aren't alone. There are plenty of us around.

Thankyou. I feel embarrased to have extra lessons or do pass plus I feel like I would be being judged and that the instructor would end up thinking how on earth did she pass her test. ( I passed 2nd time with 3 minors) I have no confidence to drive 4 hours on a motorway to visit a friend but wish I did. I hate how I worry.

Could you gradually try a few new roads/routes every week? I get nervous driving on unfamiliar roads too it then I got a job that involves a lot of driving 18 months after I passed and Google street view really helped. I use it to see what the roads are like so I know what to expect and which lanes I need to be in for junctions and roundabouts. It really helps me feel less anxious

Everything's stressful the first time you do it. You could try building up to a four hour journey gradually. Equally you could just use public transport. I've been driving for almost 30 years and much prefer the train for long journeys.

I would get counselling about the anxiety tbh.

Some people don't like driving and that's fine but you shouldn't be constantly worrying about crashing etc. Driving to new places shouldn't be a worry because the rules of the road and signs etc are there to guide you (granted, some places are shit but that can't be helped). I always check out where I'm going for parking and a rough idea in my head of the route so I'm not totally reliant on my satnav. I prefer Google map navigation to our satnav, the way it words it just works in my brain.

Good luck.

I doubt that you have any need to feel embarrassed. I think you will find that this is much more common that you realise.

Thankyou. The Anxiety of driving places I don't know and every day the Anxiety of being involved in a crash is so huge for me - makes me feel like I shouldn't be on the roads. Most people don't think about being in a crash every time they get in their car? I will be getting the train to visit my friend but wish I did have the confidence and belief I could drive any where.

Think of it as a constant learning 'journey' I drive a lot.
I passed my test many moons ago but I had been driving for a long time before I went on motorways. At first for short distances at quieter times.
I stuck to quiet routes mainly and clocked up many miles going the long way round.
However, I learnt to drive and took it slow.
Your confidence / ability will grow with experience. For me it took years and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Motorway driving is by far through simplest as there are no roundabouts you get plefty of warning about where to come 9ff, there are no parked vehicles.

Apparently we are the 4th safest country to drive in behind Sweden and Norway if this makes you worry less about accidents,

I know someone who chooses not to drive because anxiety made them unsafe. Better to stop if you don't feel safe

RoSPA do am advanced driving course. It will change your life.

I get this too.
First of all for unfamiliar roads- try to familiarise yourself with them by Google beforehand. Go through your route first on street view and try to visualise as much as possible. I also find putting Sat Nav on really helps, then no worries about getting lost. And if something in particular is really worrying you about a route, e.g a tricky junction,.find a different way that avoids it.
Start small and work up to it so it's not suddenly four hours on a motorway. Good Luck..

What in particular do you find confusing? What kind of roads? It's all about practice- the more you do it the easier it'll get.

Google street view is a help - if you are driving somewhere you've not driven before, you can "drive" along it on street view, check out any junctions you're worried about, and when you actually do the journey, it will seem more familiar.

But don't worry about 4hour motorway journeys yet, just get used to driving locally. And get some motorway lessons before doing a motorway. Or try your local motorway at 3am on a summers day to start with.

Thankyou. I am going to use Google street view and hope that will help me a lot more. I did manage to pass 2nd time but I think I only learnt the basics - (he wasn't the best driving instructor)we used to do 3 regular quiet routes and occasionally did a couple of other small routes. My Driving test was a good route and roads were ok. Nothing like driving in the real world after passing - 19 months on and I'd choose to get the bus rather than drive to the city centre.

I disagree with a lot of these posts. Don’t stop driving! You will only gain confidence with experience. I stopped now I’m too anxious to even move our car to a better parking space on the street. I’ve had extra lessons so many times and I’m always amazed at my ability, it’s my anxiety stopping me driving alone and I can’t get past it.

So do whatever you need to do to build your confidence. I’ve never felt like I’m being judged with ‘return to driving’ lessons. All major driving schools offer lessons for people lacking confidence or getting back into driving.

Just please don’t stop. You’ll get there.

I passed my test 6 years ago - learning to drive was the most anxiety-provoking thing I've ever done. I am still a nervous driver, and will feel trepidation driving new routes, or in bad weather, or with passengers I don't know very, very well. I literally only become halfway confident about 1-2 years ago. I would completely encourage you to keep going, and to take any opportunity to 'practise' driving on roads that make you a little uncomfortable. Take a more experienced driver with you if it helps (it did for me). Don't give up now because it will be harder next time to get back to it. I also had extra lessons after I passed to practice motorway driving, there's no shame in that.

It's good that you take the responsibility of driving seriously. Your anxiety is undermining your confidence, but it builds with time and experience.

I have been driving for 25 years. Since the menopause my driving anxiety had gone through the roof. There are about 3 routes I am comfortable doing now. Routes I drove without a second thought 5-10 years ago I now can not do. I had refresher lessons with a fab instructor, who says I drove fine I just needed confidence but I absolutely hate it. If I could stop tomorrow I would. So you are not alone. That’s no help to you but I feel better for getting it off my chest 😁

Driving has been a real phobia for me. I was excited about learning to drive at 17 but then started to hate it and fear it. I stopped lessons and didn't start again until I was 35. It didn't come naturally to me and I took so many lessons over a couple of years but finally passed on my second test. I still hated driving and only drove a couple of familiar local routes and was released when I was able to switch the ignition off and get out the car. After 9 months I scrapped the car after many repair problems then I didn't drive again until last year at the age of 52. It was a real phobia and i avoided driving but had been relying on my partner to do the driving. We also moved to a rural area where driving is a necessity. I finally plucked up the courage to take some driving lessons again last year and after about 5 lessons with an instructor and also driving several times with my partner next to me, I've now built up some confidence. Ive been out driving on my own now a handful of times and actually enjoyed it and the independence it has given me. I am mostly driving within a 10 mile radius of our home but have also done a couple of longer journeys. Am taking it a bit at a time. I may even have some more lessons to tackle different things like busy A road or motorway. There is nothing wrong with having extra lessons after you have passed your test. My partner took ill recently and I was able to drive her to the medical centre and also go out to the supermarket by myself in the car so driving helps in a big way. I would say stick with it OP. Stay with familiar local routes for as long as you need and only when you feel ready, tackle something else. One step at a time.

Driving instructor here, I try and teach my pupils to always drive defensively. Always be aware or what is around you, to the side of you, and very importantly behind you because this helps you with any speed/positioning decisions. You should be safely checking your rear view mirror every 5 seconds. Always leave lots of space between you and any other cars, if someone is tailgating, make sure you extend the gap between you and the car in front.

Be looking as far ahead as possible and planning for hazards that you see long before you get to them...e.g if on dual carriageway or motorway, and see slow moving vehicle in left lane, prepare in good time to overtake by checking mirrors and maintaining your speed. If you see anything in the right lane let them pass then move over, if they are far behind in the right lane, then maintain speed and move out.
If on a road with many parked vehicles, assess passing places on either side of the road, if you're not sure and an approaching vehicle is coming, wait in a decent hold back position of at least 1 car length.

And definitely yes, prepare for any journey by looking at street view, even I do this. I occasionally use a sat nav, but always check my route on google first so I have a vague idea of the direction I'm going in. Even if I'm doing a long drive. I assess the motorways I need and have satnav for the town/city driving.

As another poster says, the signs and road markings are all there to help you progress safely so look out for them in unfamiliar places. I do think it's so important to keep trying with the busier roads, maybe familiarise yourself with them at quieter times of day/evenings.

Your instructor should have taken you on busier roads/junctions though. Round where I teach there are many extremely busy roads and junctions that my pupils work up to. I would never dream of letting a pupil go for a test if they hadn't experienced busy roads and junctions. Crazy.

Heĺlo
Sympathies OP this is common. I can't believe the amount of people who tell me they feel like this when I'm open about my fears. I tackled mine with counselling. My anxiety was an issue in other areas though too. Built up gradually with more adventurous routes. Now I drive quite confidently but still not motorways which is fine for me for now. I advice to get some therapy if affordabe and don't give up. Anxiety thrives on avoidance because in the short term it offers relief. Need to do small challenges. Good luck x

Thankyou so much posters for replying and all your kind helpful advice I really appreciate it. I thought I was opening myself up to being criticised and told to get off the roads if I'm that Anxious and nervous and fear being in a crash. We only did a few quiet routes so it was quite a shock being out on my own on the roads when I passed. I drive my children to school - although school traffic is so very busy I should be used to it but still hate it. I drive every day with my children and family (and on my own)and I have driven friends too - but I prefer the local roads but would feel so proud of myself to say that I had been able to drive a 4 hour journey on a motorway. I want to be able to achieve that but the fear holds me back the fear of driving where I don't know holds me back. My thought process is expect the unexpected when driving as anything can happen - the fear of what could happen on the roads. I will use google street view and that should help me. Thankyou.