Aibu for considering getting a cleaner?

[lazymumsmh]

I work 2.5 days a week, I have a 1yo DS who I stay home with the other 2.5 days. DH goes to work full time and is out of the house 8-6 5 days a week.

We earn under 30k combined and claim universal credit, we get about £250 a month from that.

At the moment we constantly argue about household chores and the division of housework - basically, I do 90% of it. DH washes up every night (I cook) and he does the bins/recycling and will pick up the dog poo in the garden regularly but apart from that - I do all the laundry / cooking / cleaning / finances / car stuff and the larger share of childcare. I've had enough, chore rotas never work and I'm bored of arguing about it.

Ideally we'd have a cleaner in once a week for 2 hours, I've been quoted about £30 for this. thats £120 a month but I'm thinking it might be worth it for our sanity. We have a tiny 2 bed house. Do you think 2 hours a week is enough? Am I silly to suggest this when we are pretty hard up anyway? i just don't know what else to do.

Alternative option would be to put DS into childcare for an extra day/half day and do the cleaning myself.

What do others do?

As long as you can afford it, go for it

You only work 2.5 days a week and are subsidised by the tax payer and you can't do your own cleaning?

Plenty of people work full-time, look after kids and still manage to do their own housework.

Yabu imo.

Best thing I did getting a cleaner. She comes every 2 weeks for 2 hours and just does the kitchen, bathroom & living room. I can manage the bedrooms and a wipe down inbetween.
DP wasn't keen at first, but now he realises how much more time he has & less nagging from me!

Ignore that goady rude idiot above.

If you can afford, go for it. Why the hell not.

Trial it for a month and see?

I'm surprised you can afford it tbh.

Get a cleaner!

I had one when I wasn’t working at all, parenting is a full time job.

I'm getting one, She starts on Monday.
I hate cleaning.
Go for it OP.

It's not unreasonable as such but I would imagine it's hard to afford for you. I would hand dh a specific additional role -one of the biggish ones - as his thing and see how that pans out. The finances is the oblivious one if he sees himself as traditional provider as it would traditionally go hand in hand with that role along with bins and washing up.

I think if one person is determined to do no house work they can at least take on the finances and admin for the family, s this at least is a big and annoying task. And do it properly.

This might not be ideal and is a bit old fashioned but it would at least make the amount of work you each do roughly the same. My DF was a bit crappy at doing the housework and child care when he worked full time and had a commute (my Mum was a SAHM) but he did all the household finances and admin and did it to a proper standard so my Mum never had to think about e.g. sorting out the gas bill, re organising the finances etc.

If you can swing it financially go for it! It is sanity and marriage saving, I think everyone should be able to have one.

2 hours should be enough for the kitchen, bathroom, floors and hoovering in a small house. I have a tiny house and mine does 3 hours, those jobs plus change beds and some ironing.

Do what you want if you can afford it. I would personally prefer the £120 and do the cleaning myself but then at 1 my DD would play happily while I did cleaning.
Now I’m working full time I think about having a cleaner but would still prefer the spare money

Go for it, it will make life a lot easier. If you can't afford once a week, once a fortnight or every ten days should be manageable and you really will notice the difference.

I got cleaner (a pair of them) from an agency, they came from Bulgaria and I have never seen people work so hard. I'm sure they'd have been the same had I not been at home but on that occasion I was. I've had them back since on an ad hoc basis.

The other thing you can do is send essential ironing, like shirts, to an ironing shop. They do a good job and quick turn around.

Good luck, I hope your husband is on board with it and pays half. Mine didn't want it but when we had it - I just went ahead and arranged - he was delighted.

It's your money and entirely up to you how you spend it.

Just employed a cleaner, saved my sanity tbh.

My partner has never wanted to do cleaning since we moved in together 20 years ago! So with very brief exceptions he has paid for a cleaner ever since. It cost £30 a week and apart from quick wipes around the bathroom & odd hoovering that is the house done for a week.

My attitude was either he did 50% or he paid for someone to do it & I will do whatever else needed doing. I’m convinced it has helped our relationship as I don’t have to nag👍

do it, I just got a cleaner - she's already one of my fave people ever and the house is how I want it. I do laundry and cooking, dp does washing up and bins/recycling, cleaner does everything else. Amazing!

From my perspective, a cleaner is the best thing you'll ever spend your money on. If you can afford to have someone clean your toilets and wash the floor, why would you do it yourself? YANBU.

Personally, I wouldn't. Tried it a couple of times when I had 4 little ones but found it more trouble than it was worth, tidying up before she came was more work than the cleaning. Lack of privacy was massive for me.
Gave OH a green light to do even less

Your money your choice. Although with only 2.5 days work, only one child and combined income under £30k, unless you are very lucky with paid off housing etc I would personally be cleaning myself during nap times or evenings and saving the money for a rainy day or putting it aside for my child. But if you have it truly spare, and want it, then do it.

I'm a cleaner. I think everyone should have one. After years of struggling with my own home I've just employed one to clean my house. I'm so happy. I can't really afford it tbh and I work two hours outside the house to pay for it so it seems a bit mad but I get distracted at home so she does more in 2 hours than I could.

If you have money to spend at all, this is a good way to spend it. Much better than a takeaway or couple of bottles of wine or lunch out or sky sports.

It’s your choice as it’s your money but I wouldn’t personally. I work 2.5 days as well and have young children but I manage a small chunk every day which keeps on top of things and I get beds changed on a weekend, proper clean of the bathroom etc on a weekend when dh is around to watch the kids. It’s quite a big chunk of money a month when you’re not very high income and I’d rather spend it on other things but it’s a personal choice! If your house is tiny like you say are you sure it’s not just too cluttered / messy which is making cleaning harder? Because if so then a cleaner isn’t really going to solve the issue, you’ll still need to tidy or they won’t be able to clean.

Are you able to save some money every month at the moment? If not, I would do the cleaning yourself and put £100 in a savings account every month.

If you can afford it go for it. Best thing I ever did.

Looking after a one year old whilst trying to clean can be an absolute nightmare so YANBU. Some toddlers won't play nicely on their own to afford you the time to clean and take too much interest in getting involved. I have quite a clingy toddler who would insist on following me around and I wouldn't want him breathing in the chemicals from the cleaning products apart from anything else. I also think it would be nice if you could spend the time you have with your toddler actively engaging with them and giving them your full attention. I know I'm in a minority on MN but I think sometimes people focus too much on making sure SAHPs or those that work PT get domestic chores done and this can be to the detriment of the child.

Like everything in life, it's all about priorities! Some people prioritise holidays, alcohol, smoking, fancy food etc so assuming you can afford it then there is nothing wrong with prioritising getting a cleaner.