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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this not an appropriate song for a health food shop

143 replies

APairofScarletSequinedWings · 06/02/2019 11:05

Hello Everyone,

I accept that I may be overthinking this, so happy to be handed a grip or three, but here is the situation.

I was in Holland and Barrett earlier, and was idly wandering around, when I realised that the song on their stereo was "Alone again, naturally", by Gilbert O'Sullivan. I have included the lyrics below for anyone not familiar with the song, but felt it was not the sort of thing to be playing where some customers may well be already feeling depressed and looking for remedies to help. I mentioned it to the young assistant, who was definitely not old enough to remember the song, but when I told her the first verse, she was horrified, and said that it could possibly trigger someone who was already in a dark place. One of my closest friends goes through periods of horrendous mental health lows, and would definitely think this song was meant for them.

Now, I absolutely know that you can't monitor every song in every shop on the high street, but those that are there to sell supplements supposedly to aid both physical and mental health (i.e. St. John's Wort or Valerian), would be better to either have more cheerful songs or general background music. I was about to write to the Customer Service Department and ask that they consider removing it from the play list, as I understand that the shops are sent USBs with the music already on there.

So, AIBU, write or leave it?

Lyrics
In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it's like When you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Were people saying, My God, that's tough
She stood him up
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about, God in His mercy
Oh, if he really does exist
Why did he desert me
In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
It seems to me that
There are more hearts broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do
What do we do
Alone again, naturally
Looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start
With a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 06/02/2019 11:46

I think you are a very lucky person if this is something you are giving headspace. Your life must be trouble free!

Ribbonsonabox · 06/02/2019 11:46

Yes I've been in a shop and a song which came on reminded me of the death of a friend and caused me to cry... but I'm aware that the issue was mine and not the shops. Honestly op I really do think you need those grips!
Music is so emotional and so personal.. theres no way youd be able to think about its effect on everyone.. one persons sad song is another's uplifting song.
If someone is seriously depressed and bursting into tears at music in shops the the issue is with them! And I say this as someone who has done that! Its unusual for people to be that effected by music in public. The world cannot revolve around certain peoples depression.. in fact how could it as it's so unique to each individual? As I've said one persons sad song is another's favourite tune! Unless we ban all music in public... which is bit ott isnt it?
I get it, I've been bereaved and I've been depressed.... but however sad you are the world doesn't stop and you dont have a right to demand the entire world acknowledges and validates your sadness. You have a right to access support and help from professionals and your friends and loved ones....
But sorry you do not have a right to make perfect strangers play the type of music you want.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 06/02/2019 11:48

I think if you're in a fragile state of mind anything can be triggering. If you hear a love song you might feel that you'll never find love, if you hear a happy, upbeat song it can make you feel worse, like it's rubbing your nose in it that you'll never feel happy. But everyone's different.

Speaking as someone who's sobbed in shops before now it wouldn't occur to me to complain about the music playing in shops.

Madwithjealousy · 06/02/2019 11:49

Ooh, another school disco at a primary school where the DJ was playing the unedited version of Celo Green "Fuck You" !! I've never seen a teacher move so fast as she ran to the decks ! The worst thing was the DJ was one of the parents.... Shock

Theonewiththecat · 06/02/2019 11:51

😂😂😂
Me and DH were walking around the shopping centre near home just after Christmas one year. When the song that goes... "all by myself, don't want to be all by myself anymore" came on.

What did you want the person in the shop to do?
We probably have music at work that upsets people, songs that remind them of relatives and friends, But we can't turn it off.

Limensoda · 06/02/2019 11:54

I don't know how anyone who looks for things to over worry about get through their day.
We won't be able to have anything if we look for triggers in everything. There are millions of things that could affect people.
Songs are about sad things, happy things....we can't ban them ffs.

sparklesq · 06/02/2019 11:55

You have too much time on your hands to have even noticed such a thing and have the time to write and complain about it.

TitOfTheIceberg · 06/02/2019 11:55

I think you are a very lucky person if this is something you are giving headspace. Your life must be trouble free!

Many people are capable of considering and giving headspace to many different things, of differing levels of importance or concern, over the course of a day. I'm sorry for you that you don't appear to be one of them, you must miss out on a lot.

Last2Know · 06/02/2019 11:56

When I worked in Subway many years ago, we had music piped in online from a subway type radio. No speaking, just constant mix of tunes. We could not control it but someone was bound to have chosen what was to be played.

One of the youngsters working there once plugged his phone into the AUX and after a few hours we received a complaint from a Mother. It was rap music which included swearing. I didn't notice as I was out the back!

Last2Know · 06/02/2019 11:57

You have too much time on your hands to have even noticed such a thing and have the time to write and complain about it

Doesn't take much to recognise a song and for it to get you thinking about the lyrics really does it?

Worldweary · 06/02/2019 11:58

APairofScarletSequinedWings I don't think you're being unreasonable in that you're making a valid point. However, I don't think the shop assistant would be in a position to influence it. I remember this particular song well but hated it, like all Gilbert O'Sullivan. (I was a bit of an edgy punk in my youth). However, driving along a few weeks ago it came up on the radio and I did, actually, listen to the lyrics. They did make me feel sad, and, despite its wet tune and delivery, it's a very well-written song. Maybe after alot of life experience and looking back I can identify with it. That's the effect it might have on others. i.e. someone else feels like me at the moment and they're feeling sad and have written about it. Therefore, it might make them feel, not quite so alone. In terms of in-store music, I remember Starship Trooper by Yes coming up in one store and wandering round waiting for the explosive guitar bit to come in at the end (and I chose something to buy, while wandering). On the other hand, I stay regularly at one particular hotel and coming in one late afternoon heard a rap song on their system which was positively obscene and violent (I won't repeat the lyrics). When, asked, as usual, how I enjoyed my stay, I mentioned it. They said they couldn't really control what came on so inappropriate things might filter through. I said that a song like that wasn't appropriate for ANYWHERE and, particularly not, a family/business hotel. It's possible to put filters and genres on sound systems.

Fatbutt · 06/02/2019 12:01

OP, YABU about the song... If i am in a funk then happy, cheerful music makes me... stabby?! if I am in a shop, then its rare I even pay attention (unless 'Lets get ready to rumble' comes on in asda, ex colleague pavlovian response...)

However, YANBU to have an opinion, don't keep it to yourself, MN is here to share the weird and wonderful Flowers

halfwitpicker · 06/02/2019 12:02

Time to hit the rib eye, methinks

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 06/02/2019 12:05

Yawwwwn! This is a fabulous song - at least you can understand the words, unlike some of the rubbish you hear now. Would you rather have one of those disgusting songs full of swear words and sexual innuendo? That would make be feel depressed if I heard it in a shop - in fact I would walk straight out.

Comefromaway · 06/02/2019 12:06

AT least it wasn't the creepy peadophile song Clair.

User383673 · 06/02/2019 12:07

To be honest, a health food shop peddling bullshit lies about food supplements is a far bigger danger to depressed people than a song, so I think you’ve focused your energy in the wrong place.

Racecardriver · 06/02/2019 12:08

@meredithgrey in Australia they teach resuscitation to that song (you compress on staying alive). I always worry that someone will do it to the whole song rather than just the short spaced staying alives.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 06/02/2019 12:09

Comefromaway - He wrote the song for his niece, Clair. It was not creepy - it's about a loving uncle looking after his young niece.

KurriKurri · 06/02/2019 12:09

They used to play Andrew lloyd Webber songs in my Dentist's waiting room - 'Phantom of the Opera' blaring when your dentist comes out of his room wearing his mask and calls your name is a bit unnerving !

Geminijes · 06/02/2019 12:13

YABU. It is impossible to censor music being played in shops.

There are probably many things that happen on a day to day basis that could be a trigger for lots of people with varying illnesses/conditions.

How do you propose life is policed?

Limensoda · 06/02/2019 12:13

@Comefromaway He wrote the song for his niece, Clair. It was not creepy - it's about a loving uncle looking after his young niece

No he didn't.
That was the song 'Claire' This is 'Alone again naturally'

bobstersmum · 06/02/2019 12:14

tit I don't miss out on a lot but can't get offended by a song played in a health food shop! Pc Britain gone totally bonkers.

Limensoda · 06/02/2019 12:14

Sorry @Comefromaway

I didn't see what you were responding to....Apologies.

GuardiolasGirl · 06/02/2019 12:15
Biscuit
Dahlietta · 06/02/2019 12:15

Interestingly, I would inwardly stereotype H&B's customers as cheerful hippy-types.