Feeling utterly shite. Stress reaction?

[User2019]

Name changed for this.

I recently went through something really stressful at work. A big, big project that lasted several weeks. It was the most difficult and stressful thing I have ever done in my whole life. I lost weight. I didn’t sleep. But I did it. I completed it.

It finished about a week ago. I took a few days off work. Got my house back in order. Spent some time with the kids (4 and 2). I should be feeling ok now but I don’t.

I feel so down. Really down. Have felt this way pretty much since the project finished. Like I can’t be bothered with anything. I just want to curl up in a ball.

Before the project took hold I was eating healthily. Cut down on the alcohol. Was running three times a week. Now I just can’t get it together at all. I’m drinking every evening (not copiously just a glass or two of wine) and eating junk and I can’t find it in me to go running.

I was wondering if this is a normal reaction following a period of stress. I feel horrendous and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it.

I don’t tend to suffer with mental health generally. But I have never ever experienced stress like that. But it’s over now so why am I not over it?!

Bump

I think the reaction you're feeling now is not uncommon at all. There something big going on and you get carried along on a surge of adrenalin. But once the immediate crisis is over, that surge is gone, and you're left with having to manage all the stuff you've been neglecting while the crisis was going on. Looking after yourself is more important than ever but it's hard to just flip back to where you were. Baby steps, OP. Almost literally - for instance, try some walking if you can't face a run.

I think you just need to focus on taking care of yourself and eating healthily. You have put your body under a tremendous amount of stress and now it’s recovering.

Carbs help body produce serotonin which stress and sleep deprivation will mess with. Eggs, cheese and nuts are good for this, so try to eat them instead of the junk. Your body is just trying to balance itself, so let it.

It sounds like you were running on Adrenaline and that's unhealthy for that amount of time OP.

Is your job likely to get this way again?

Hello,
Yes - normal reaction.
As pp said it can take time. Build up slowly. Make lists of things you HAVE to do. Make some time for nice things as well. Choose one thing at a time to deal with.
At the moment you are punishing yourself. You know this... but feel like you can't stop.
You CAN... you WILL.
(Sadly I have no magic answer - you need to find what works for you!)
Hope you start to feel better soon.

If it carries on see your gp. But try some self care first, time outside, walk if you can’t run, eat well. Stop with the alcohol.

Make time to see a friend .

Is it possible you’ve been stressed for longer than the project. So the run up to it as well? It can creep up on you.

Sounds completely normal to me, you've had a rough couple weeks and now you're unwinding and clearing your head from being constantly on the go.

Don't stress about whether you're stressed, vicious cycle here!

Give yourself a break, but be aware of how you're feeling and like PPs said, if it does go on too long or if you feel utterly overwhelmed, lacking motivation or a positive outlook on the future, do talk to someone. Best wishes

Thank you all. So much. I do feel a little better that this is pretty normal. I have never experienced this before I just feel completely flat. And angry at the world to be honest.

I am utterly exhausted and yet I can’t sleep at night 🤷🏻‍♀️

When I was younger, I suffered from stress-related migraines, and realised that they never actually kicked in until the crisis had passed, then, instead of the expected feelings of relief, I got the kickback!
I agree with PP's about adrenaline; you've overdrawn the account, and now you need to redress the balance.
Do something nice for yourself, and don't forget to tell yourself how much you DESERVE it for completing the project successfully!
The sleep problem will probably resolve; be prepared for some weird, vivid dreams as your subconscious clears the backlog!

Oh gosh your last post resonated with me. Being exhausted but not being able to sleep.

I had a breakdown n.a. few years back and this was one of the symptoms.

Are you sure there's not more going on? Are you sure it's purely work related? It sounds like you poured every second you had, every bit of energy you had into it and saved nothing for yourself.

I say, take some time. Don't be so hard on yourself. Eat junk for a bit, drink if you want to, have a bath, have a massage, get your hair done, spend time with your little ones. Self care here is important.

When you have regained a bit of strength, then you can get back on the wagon again. But DONT beat yourself up about it. Give yourself a bit of slack.

I wonder what you are angry about? Do you feel you have given too much to work? Is it that you've missed out on time with your children? Have you been properly acknowledged for all the hard work it took for you to do that? Do they understand how much it took out of you?

It’s mainly work related. I feel angry with my husband and his family. He has been great through the last few weeks, has just got on with it, dealt with the kids, kept the house ticking over himself and not a word of complaint. His family are no support to us at all. Mine are desperate to help but they live two hours away and work full time so on a practical level they can’t help much. I wish we were nearer but DH won’t entertain a move now with DD1 getting ready to start a (really good) school. It never really bothered me before now but it does now for some reason and I’m struggling with it.

I’m also angry at the intensity of my job and how much it takes from me. But the money is good. I work four days (but I work every night too) and the money allows us to live here, with great schools, a beach etc.

So when I look for other stuff the money doesnt come close and we aren’t in a position for me to take a pay cut yet, with childcare costs etc

I'm back...
Exhausted but can't sleep... if you are used to lots of exercise it is possible that your brain is tired but the body is not.
Balancing the two was something I only discovered late... but it is soooo true. I can be mentally worn out but physically not ready for sleep. "I'm tired. I'm going for a run!" is one of my genuine phrases!!! The less I do, the more tired I feel. The more I do, the more energy I have and I sleep so much better.
Currently recovering from man-flu (luckily a mild dose what with not being a man and all) and so walking leaves me feeling exhausted but better for getting out and having fresh air.
Hope you feel better soon.

Sounds like you crashed and burnt....look after yourself to get your health back up on track.

Yeah I think I’m going to need to drag my arse out for a run. I feel like if I stop running for like a week the weight just piles on

Can you discuss this with your DH at all? The things that are making you angry are not going to go away. Perhaps you can work something out between you? Go and visit more often? Or meet your parents halfway and take the kids somewhere nice with their grandparents?

I’m not sure what there is to discuss really. I haven’t been able to visit my parents much recently because of said project and every single weekend between now and the end of March is just packed.