When it bothers me that my partner's ex is in constant contact with my in-laws on social media?

[Probablynuts]

I know that people can grow close to their children's partners and want to stay in touch even if the relationship doesn't work out. This is not the case here. My live-in boyfriend's ex lived far away and hardly met his family, but she still likes, loves, comments and laughs at virtually everything they post. Sometimes they reciprocate, but not nearly as much. I feel invaded somehow, because she obviously hasn't let go. He was the one who left. AIBU?

I totally understand this. I found the best thing to do was to block the partners ex on FB, then you can't see any of their likes or comments. It really helped me.

Hmm it really depends.

I seem to have collected the (very lovely) parents of my nicer recent ex, the family of my current partner and the mum of a friend who cant bear anyone speaking to her.

My partners longterm (20+ years) ex is still on his facebook and i think so are her parents, even though they dont actually talk.

I think its hard to say either way without more information.

Thank you, that is good advice. I know I shouldn't be snooping in the first place, but she seems to pop up everywhere and I can't help myself They obviously don't have any children, but we do, and she never likes or comments what my in-laws post about them, so she seems jealous and stuck in the past

I agree, it does depend. I am myself on very friendly terms with his other ex, they have a son, and our children play together. I realize and accept that people have a past, I do too

I think it makes me uncomfortable that she is much older than him, she could have been his mother, and I don't like thinking about it. That sound horrid of me, I know

You can help snooping, you're making an active choice to do so.

I expect she doesn't comment on posts about your children because it's polite not to.

You're really overthinking this.

How would this situation be any different if she were the same age as you? I'm totally bemused by the point you are dithering about but not saying

You are right, I am definitely overthinking, and I shouldn't stoop to this. I just don't get her, what she wants, and to be honest what he saw in her. But I need to stop obsessing about it, it's true

You don't need to get her.

She probably wants to get on with her life.

You'd need to ask him what he saw in her.

Well he obviously loved her once, but that's got nothing to do with you has it?

Just block her and move on.

I think her age makes it harder to excuse that clingy behaviour, but I know I need to change how I think about it

So OP are you going to stop overthinking and just block those posts? Pre social media she probably wouldn't have been in touch at all, so just go for the blocking for your own peace of mind.

If she wants to get on with her life she doesn't need to pay that much attention to her ex's family. He has asked her to stop

You are all absolutely right, should just block her 😊

I understand more if she had children with her ex.

Block her, some people can't let go.

I'm separated from my ex - we have one child together. We haven't been together for over 16 years, I now have a new husband and two more children.
I am friends with my ex's family on FB and they and I often like each other's posts and comment - I can assure you I have no designs on my ex, I simply like to stay connected to my sons family for his sake and actually I like them all, they are nice people. I'm not going to turn up at any family occasions but can't see why it would annoy anyone if we stay in touch on FB.
I have nothing to do with my Ex on social media.
If my Ex's new girlfriend was annoyed over it I'd think she was massively over thinking and quite frankly being a bit stalky and strange.

Just block her and don't let it bother you. Unless she's trying to stay connected directly with your ex why worry?

Like I said if they had children I would expect them to be in each other's lives, they are family, but why hold on when they don't? I suppose it shouldn't bother me as much.

You are being quite unpleasant about her age and what he saw in her. Maybe she's just someone who likes a lot of things on Facebook?

If he has asked her to stop, why doesn’t he get his family to block her?

I admit that her age shouldn't bother me, and it probably wouldn't if she had seemed like a nice woman otherwise. I also admit that I am being unpleasant.