Asking my dad to consider a over 50s plan

[Home77]

My parents are divorced and my dad is in council sheltered housing. he's not in the best of health, in late 70s. He's pretty difficult, a hoarder and not great with money. He's been on benefits for years, I left home at 17 for uni and got a grant etc, (in 40s now)

Something is bothering me - when I was 18 I remember his mum died and he asked me to contribute towards funeral costs. (I couldn't as only had my grant and part time earnings) Now I'm thinking, well the same thing might happen when he dies. He's got no savings. My brother and I will need to pick up the costs.

DH is a bit cross about how my dad is and not saving etc and he says, maybe it would be an idea for dad to have an over 50s saving plan or something to pay for costs.

Do you think I should ask dad to do that?as I asked my brother who didn't reply. It feels like people just don't think of this stuff at times.

I think, if people are on benefits they do get some kind of money to pay for a basic funeral but in our case my brother and I may be liable due to not being in the category of qualifying for that. But we have our own family costs to think of and it can run to thousands.

Also i feel horrible for thinking of it but it is a worry. We aren't wealthy and would struggle to suddenly find 2K

Even if he agreed he doesn’t sound very likely to get round to it.

Maybe have a talk about putting his affairs in order and get him a will form and the details of a simple plan and help him complete them? I agree that leaving this stuff for someone else to sort out is a royal pain. And even a basic funeral can cost thousands.

You could take out an insurance policy or start saving yourself to spread the cost.

There's quite a good article on MSE saying don't bother with over 50s plans and shop with caution for funeral plans here

I would imagine he's too old to start either now, OP, even if he had the will and money to do so. You would be better putting something away yourself maybe?

Really good article in The Guardian just last week about how to keep costs down which my be reassuring to read - doesn't have to cost thousands at all.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/12/how-to-organise-a-funeral-without-paying-unnecessary-costs

Unfortunately if he's never been good with money he's unlikely to change now he's in his late 70's.

Oh, it makes me cross, that he even asked me about Gran in the past and is not considering this. there is a post office one looked easy as just need to go in and they sort it out for them. My SIL said about getting power of attorney perhaps. he's not incapable though just doesn't do it.

Ok read the article that looks useful, might not be as much as we thought.

You can't be made to pay for someone else's funeral. You would not become liable because your father has no money. If there is no one willing to pay for his funeral, the state will pick up the cost, but it would be a totally basic package and not at a time of your chosing. Of course, families don't like the thought that a member of their family will have a paupers funeral, so they usually cough up. A basic funeral costs about 3.5 to 4 k (in this area at least). Don't put yourself in debt if you can't afford it. Does your father have no assets at all? Those savings plans don't pay out that much, but I suppose they are better than nothing.

If he's on benefits will he even have spare cash to save? We had this with both of DHs parents and ended up paying for both . I vaguely remember they had a loan system when FIL died which would be repaid via our tax code (may have imagined that) but we ended up putting it on a credit card and being a bit tight about. Basic church ceremony, basic coffin and flowers by us from the garden (a nice touch anyway). It's quite a while ago now but was less then £3k each. It's annoying and selfish but if you've spent your life living hand to mouth it's hardly a surprise and we tried to look at it as the last thing we could do for them. Admittedly I would have felt the love a bit more if my tight arse BIL had coughed up a well.