Ok, so been thinking about this for a while, saw another post recently of the “my friend cancelled on me again” type scenario, so yes it’s another friends one! I won’t bore you with the details of my own “flaky friend” (FF), as I’ve already decided that it’s a friendship I have to let go.*
But it got me thinking, really, what is the point of friendship? I do have other friends, a couple of whom I would count as “good” friends, and then some “acquaintances”, so not so close, less expectations of the relationship.
Come on good people of mumsnet, remind me about the good bits of friendship and not let this one FF sour my view on others!
*Oh dear, here goes:
for those who want to know (and avoid any drip feeding later), a quick summary: met almost 30 years ago, through partners, would socialise together, quickly became “best” friends, had children around similar times etc; even then she would cancel on my at the last minute, not be able to contact her ( in the days before social media), wouldn’t answer the phone/door, I became concerned about her mental health (as a reason for her “avoiding” me), but nothing that she ever told me about(considering how close I thought we were); we lost touch for a while, (her) relationship breakdown, moving away etc.
Then she got in touch about a year ago, after maybe 4-5 years of NC; we’ve met up twice, all good, but not since last summer now; checking through texts she has cancelled on me 7 times since then and that’s when I realised it was all about her. For example, pre-Christmas meet up arranged, didn’t reply to my text the day before we were due to meet, to confirm all was still good to go, until 2 days afterwards (“sorry, been so hectic; lets meet in the new year, will understand if you don’t want to”). I replied with a “shame we didn’t manage to meet up” and wished her a happy Christmas, no reply/no good wishes in return. I’m not on FB but checked through OH’s account -she’d posted about being “excited and ready for Christmas” the day before she was due to meet up with me. So, she could post this but not reply to my text.
I could just let it go, but it is bugging me and I’m half thinking I’d like an explanation from her – so yesterday I text about another date to meet up; in her last text she’d called herself “unreliable FF”, so I put “ let me know if you’re free to meet up (date)...unless your “unreliable” reasons are trying to tell me something...shocked face” (sorry, can’t work out how to insert the emojis on here). And as yet, no reply!!!! I suppose I leave it now?