to ask whether you were closest to your Dad or Mum

[Donmesswime]

as a child growing up?

I adored my Dad. He worked about 12 hours a day though, so was rarely about. My Mum did the drudgery I suppose.

But when young, I'd call for my Dad in the middle of the night if I was scared or had a bad dream. He was kind and gentle. My mother would have whacked me and told me to go to sleep lol

I tend to oddly have a skewed view on the role of Dad's though. In that, my childhood experience isn't borne out in my view of the significance of Dad's in a child's life. I would view my significance to be greater to my child, than her Dad's. Confused yet?

Just wondering what was it like for the rest of you?

My dad. Even now at nearly 30 he is the most important person in my world

Crikey, if he's only 30 now, how old was he when you were born???

I always felt like my mum favoured my brother. So as a child I was probably closer to dad. But since my brother moved out and I came out of the closet I got really close to my mum. Not close to dad now but still fine.

My dad, because I felt like he liked me for myself and not for what my behaviour said about him. It was my mum when I was tiny, but I remember realising she didn't like me quite early on.

My dad . My parents split up when I was young and I was devastated . Our week was split between my parents and going back to my mums on a Sunday I would sob and sob because I wouldn’t see my dad until the Tuesday I was about 7-8 . My mum couldn’t tolerate it and had no sympathy I used to rush to the bathroom to wash my face and try and hide the fact I was upset. Perhaps she was hurt by it I’m not sure.
Now as a mother myself I feel bad for putting my dad on a pedestal really . She was young when she had us , I think there was probably some PND although she’s never openly spoken about it . Dad drank a lot and went out a lot . But when I was a teen my mum sent me to live with him as I wasn’t getting on with my step dad . I went “home” one day to find my stuff in black bags . My dad was over the moon to have me and I don’t think I can ever forget that really . I always felt like he genuinely wanted to spend time with me when I was a teen I wasn’t just a kid in the way. He turned up to every show or assembly I did and never missed parents evening .
It’s a shame for my mum really I can see now as a mother myself everything she did for us working long shifts etc .

My dad. He is kind and patient and inspirational.

My mum has bipolar disorder and was pretty awful to me as a child. All I can remember is endless shouting at me and my dad

Definitely my father. I was a Daddy's girl through and through. The sun rose and set on that man until the day he died. He was extremely smart and a pacifist, although he was drafted in Vietnam. He became a Buddhist and kept his beads in his locker. He would play devils advocate with me all of the time to encourage my critical thinking. Now, that I know I have Aspberger's I think he did too. Unfortunately, I think in marriage he picked the wrong horse, and he spent his life paying for it.

My mother is a cruel, sadistic, vindictive Narcissist, who used to beat the crap out of all us kids without his knowledge. She would also play mind games and pit each child against each other. There is a reason why I am the only one who will speak to her now.

He was an amazing man though. Thanks for the thread Op, it's nice to be reminded of him.

As a kid I'd say I was closer to my dad - but he didn't live with us and was notoriously unreliable, so while I loved him and would happily chat on the phone to him for ages/tell him about my life (and my mum would have got one-word answers), as I've got older I'm less close as I realise how little parenting/being involved in actual concrete ways he did. We're very similar in music, political tastes, TV etc so we have lots in common, but from an adult-to-adult perspective, I have less respect for the way he was then.

My mum and I weren't close at all until I left for uni (over a decade ago) and in the past few years especially I now appreciate how difficult things were for her, how much she sacrificed for us all, and how she has been the one constant in our - quite turbulent - lives. We're now finally at a place where I want to call her to ask her opinion on things and I love that we're close now. We are quite different in certain ways and we love a good debate but it finally clicked for me a few years ago why some people ring their mums to tell them everything - and I find myself doing so more often. I love my mum, she's a fucking star.

My mum pre 18 - dad 18-23ish, then both equally.

My Mum is who I feel closest to emotionally - she was always the cuddly parent who I’d go to when I was sad. If I couldn’t sleep the night before an exam, or if I felt sick, I’d go and sleep in her bed with her.

My Dad loves me loads, but in a different way - I feel like he’s always watching out for me and will sort out anything that goes wrong. Whenever I used to go into London by myself he’d be checking how the trains were running all evening. Once, when he was working thousands of miles away in Sydney, he realised before I did that there were no trains home to my town because of some signal failure, so he worked out which train I could get to an adjacent town and arranged for a (fully paid-for) taxi to pick me up from the station.

Equally close to both - they are amazing. I see that I am very lucky.

My dad. I miss him every day.

My DP and I take much more even roles in parenting than my parents did. He does as many (or more) bed times and bath times as me. Cooks dinner a few times a week (I do it marginally more often than him) is as much a parent as I am at the weekends. Very different to the way my parents worked. I don’t know how that will effect our children’s relationships with us though!

Dad, I was a daddy's girl!

@Craft1905 - I'm guessing she means she is now 30,not her Dad

I was closest to my dad as a child, but now as an adult I'm closer to my mum. I've got a very strong relationship with both of them, though.

my dad ..I idolized him .... though on my mum's passing when I was quite young he quickly left ... literally and I had 2 younger brothers to care for and no support system

My mum, I generally phone her for everything and see ber most days (we do the same job, so are at home during the day, and live in the same culdisac) and we have a good moan about everything to each other.
Im closer to my dad now than when I was younger.