Tit for Tat - Birthday Party Invites

[PineapplePrincess]

Please help sort out a disagreement between DH and I...

DS4 is having a birthday party. He has already received an invite from another little boy at nursery to his party (a week or so after DS party). He often complains about this little boy, and they seem to have a fair share of ups and down; not sure DS and little boy really get on - but they are four.

DS seems to want to go to little boy’s party. And on asking DS has said to me little boy can come to his party. But on asking the nursery to compile list of names to invite, little boy’s name is missing.

DH says not to invite him. Which I’m fine with, as long as DS doesn’t accept the invite to little boy’s party. DH thinks that’s unfair, and IBU stopping DS going to the party.

I say it’s only fair to go to little boy’s party, if he’s invited and has the same opportunity to go to DS’ party too. AIBU?

Why would the nursery select suitable invitees?

Many, many years ago when my daughter took her invitations to Kindergarten I was stopped in the NAAFI by one of the staff and told You don't want him in your house, he'll trash it! However, he came and she was quite right, he didn't come the following year.

I bet the other boys parents asked for a list of names, the nursery gave them one excluding the birthday boys and they’ve just given you this exact list. You should invite them all.

If you don't invite the little boy to the party, perhaps invite for a playdate instead?

You can't accept an invitation and then exclude that child from your child's own party.
That's just plain bad manners.

The OP will have asked for a short list of the children her dc plays with. The nursery is not excluding just 1 child, they are not giving her a list of the whole class, they are giving her only few names. You don't have to stick to the list given so if your dc wants the boy to come to the party then invite him