To not tell the rest of my family I have a small aneurysm?

[Danglyspider]

Ok, so in November I slipped down the stairs and, hit my head. Obviously had some concussion, but just took it easy to recover. A week later, my hand was twitching, (which happens with me sometimes, and is fatigue-related) but this time it got worse, extended up my arm, and across my head, and I felt like I was having a seizure. Didn't pass out, just was very shaky, and 'buzzy'.
GP, obviously suspecting epilepsy, referred me for an MRI and to Neurology. Had the scan in December, and the Neuro appointment this morning. Having not heard anything since December, just thought that they'd probably not found anything, and would be told all was well.
However, the Neuro sat me down, asked me a few medical history questions and then said I had a 4mm aneurysm. They'll probably just watch and wait and see if it gets any bigger, if it gets to 8 or 9mm then they'll operate. That's all fine.
I came back and told DH, who, like his brilliant usual self, was very chilled about it all. However, we then talked about whether to tell my parents and the two older children about it and couldn't really decide together (the two younger children both have ASD, so no point discussing it with them). DH thinks I should tell my parents but agrees probably best not to tell the kids, as it'll just worry them, and my ex will just accuse me of trying to emotionally manipulate them. DD is at university, and DS spends most of his time at his Dad's and is doing his GCSE's this year, so I wouldn't want to unnecessarily worry them, but I know they'd be pissed if anything happened and I hadn't told them. But, if I tell my parents, I have a strong suspicion that even if I ask them not to, they'll let it slip to the kids. SO, do I just tell them all, or none of them? Bearing in mind that DH often goes away for a week at a time for work, and I'm on my own with the DCs, I do feel that someone ought to know, just in case. And if I reverse it with any of them, in every case, I would want to know about it. Or am I just being a worrywart?

Personally, I would not tell them at this stage. Your husband is aware, and he is the one who would be taking responsibility if necessary. Your parents and children would live with the anxiety without being able to do anything about it, and you would have to live with their anxiety.

I would make a slow and careful decision.

But I lost a friend to a large aneurysm last year. One minute she was fine, the next she wasn't, and didn't regain consciousness.
The lady who was with her when it happened realised what was happening very quickly, and is medically trained, but was still very shocked.

It's easy to blame yourself when something like that happens. I've had many conversations with people saying "if only I'd... and it might not have happened." Even though the medical people say that if it hadn't happened then, it would have happened some other time fairly shortly afterwards.

Two things from that. Firstly, my friend, because of the situation and who was with her, had the best possible chances. The paramedics were there in less than 10 minutes and the air ambulance was scrambled immediately. Time is very much of the essence in that situation. Everything possible was done as quickly as possible. That was a great comfort to all who dealt with her. If you don't tell them, what to look out for and what to do (999) then if it did rupture then you may have a less favourable outcome because of that.
Secondly, it was totally out of the blue. Nothing could prepare you for that. I don't know whether knowing that there was a possibility would be helpful or not. Perhaps something just to think about.

The statistics are that a very high proportion of over 40s are walking round with them every day. Most people die with them rather than because of them. That is something for all of you to focus on.

my hand was twitching, (which happens with me sometimes, and is fatigue-related) but this time it got worse, extended up my arm, and across my head, and I felt like I was having a seizure. Didn't pass out, just was very shaky, and 'buzzy'.

Bearing in mind that DH often goes away for a week at a time for work, and I'm on my own with the DCs, I do feel that someone ought to know, just in case.

Medical alert bracelet/similar is definitely a good idea.

Have they said if your symptoms inc your longstanding hand twitching are caused by your aneurysm or are they looking for another cause?

I think that if your children are alone in the house with you the majority of the time and you are having symptoms as described, the older children should definitely know as if they witness your symptoms they will be less likely to be alarmed and if you require medical assistance you can prepare the children for what to do in an emergency (the younger children can also be taught what to do in an emergency ie how to call 999 without having to go into details of your condition) .

Another consideration is that if emergency assistance is required, having someone who can tell the ambulance services as soon as possible that an aneurysm may be the cause may determine how quickly you get emergency treatment, ie if they have to decide which hospital to take you too and one has Neurosurgery and one does not, or so they can tell the medical staff on arrival to hospital who may not have instant access to your medical information.

Thanks everyone, you've all been really kind and helpful. My DSM popped round today, and asked if there was anything she needed to know (i.e. what happened at my Neurology appointment, as she'd obviously seen it on the calendar)! I wasn't going to tell her, but then I thought I ought to; DH is going away for a week again soon, and I made her promise not to tell the kids, which she agreed with. She's also not going to tell my DF as he's very forgetful, and likely to accidentally talk to the kids about it. I don't like keeping secrets from the three of them, but as everyone's said - one's at uni, the other mostly lives with XP, and we rarely see my DF, so it's not as if they'd be likely to find me/deal with it, if it were to happen. I do feel better that she knows, and she thanked me for telling her. I do think it's a good idea to teach DC3 to call for an ambulance, and I'm going to at least write a document to explain myself to the DCs, in case it were to happen before we get to talk about it. The consultant didn't say whether he thought the seizure-like tremors were caused by the aneurysm, but it seems pretty likely, as the aneurysm is in the corresponding area of the brain where it gets all 'buzzy' and numb. I think at 4mm it's unlikely to rupture, but the partial seizure bouts are kind of what worries me the most, as most people with small aneurysms don't have any symptoms. I wonder whether my connective tissue disease is part of the problem, and the membranes are quite thin, causing a slight bit of leakage? Anyhow, won't know much more until I see the surgeon I guess. But thank you everyone, you've been lovely.