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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this teacher was in the wrong if this is correct?

21 replies

Isaidmaybe · 04/02/2019 18:23

DD has SN. She also has sensory issues. She is having a really crap time at the moment at school, no behaviour issues but she really struggles socially and has been the target of some nasty behaviour from other pupils recently which has caused a lot of anxiety and upset and she is not wanting to be in school resulting in heavy senco support just to keep her in school. We are really struggling to even keep her there at the moment.

Today in a small support class two other pupils skipped class. The teacher went to look for them. Later into the lesson the girls turned up claiming the teacher hadn't been where she said. There was shouting which DD got quite stressed about.
The teacher turned round and asked DD to back her up Infront of the two girls as to what time she had left the room to look for them. DD said she didn't know. Partially because she was worked up at the shouting , partially because she wasn't exactly sure of the exact time and partly because she didn't want to 'grass' on the two girls when she is already being bullied in school and the two girls who skipped are 'strong characters'

The teacher berated DD in front of everyone and shouted at her for not backing her up. DD was already struggling at this point because of the girls and teaching shouting.

She was then in a mood and continued according to DD to be unkind to her, even to a point where she berated all the children again including DD and threatened to tell the Senco and other staff on them all that none of them were being enthusiastic enough (especially as DD was already upset by this point) and have the support sessions stopped as they didn't care.

DD then asked the teacher if she could have the sheet in a certain colour as per her learning plan for one of her diagnosis and the teacher said she had none of the correct paper. DD said it's okay Miss I can go and get some from Sencos office as she says it's okay for me to when I need it. The teacher then stormed to the back of the room and got the paper she had said she didn't have and stormed out of the room.

I appreciate she was annoyed that DD didn't back her up but am being PFB to be a bit annoyed given the whole of school is aware how much she is struggling at the moment.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 04/02/2019 18:39

YANBU. I would be speaking to the school about this

schoolsoutforever · 04/02/2019 18:39

Yes, I think the teacher handled this badly and sounds like she was stressed. I have been there myself as a teacher. However, what you can do about is hard to say. Personally I don't think it's bad enough to complain exactly but perhaps you could contact the Senco and ask if all teachers could be made aware of the need to be understanding in regard to your daughters anxiety.

schoolsoutforever · 04/02/2019 18:41

daughter's anxiety I should say Blush

Mississippilessly · 04/02/2019 18:42

Poor form on the teacher's part. I would never bring another pupil into am argument I was having a pupil. Come to think if it, I dont argue with pupils.

I would be inclined to email her from tutor and explain that if DD seems particularly sensitive tomorrow this is why. That way you aren't complaining (because I cant see what they will do, even though its crap) but you get your point across.

RelaxDontDoooIt · 04/02/2019 18:42

Whether your daughter is generally stressed or not, this is not a professional way to manage students behaviour. Yes, she is probably stressed. Sounds like she had a day from hell. However that was over the top and unprofessional...as long as your daughter’s version is correct.

Crazycrazylady · 04/02/2019 18:43

Honestly not good enough by the teacher. She sounds very stressed out but your dd can't be her punching bag when things go wrong. I'd absolutely be having a word.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/02/2019 19:04

Even taking your dds anxiety out of the situation. She had no right to drag her into it.
The coloured paper has also annoyed me. If your dd needs it for her lessons. It should be there. She shouldn't be having to go to the school office to get it.

Dandelio · 04/02/2019 19:10

Yanbu

ReaganSomerset · 04/02/2019 19:14

Terribly unprofessional. I'd call her up for a chat first to establish her pov and if the response wasn't satisfactory I'd be reporting her.

sackrifice · 04/02/2019 19:16

For a start, should the teacher leave the classroom to go looking for absentees?

Secondly, your daughter is not her timekeeper and should not have been dragged into this nor punished for not complying by refusing the paper.

What is this teacher thinking?

schoolsoutforever · 04/02/2019 19:26

Sadly teachers are not perfect, definitely make mistakes and often pupil behaviour is hard to manage, but that said she should not have asked your daughter to back her, nor should she have been difficult over the paper. I don't think she needs a roasting over it but a reminder of being thoughtful about student needs (i.e your daughter's) is probably required.

freshfoodpeople · 05/02/2019 05:03

Your daughter's issues are almost a red herring here. The teacher behaved completely unprofessionally regardless of anything else.

I would definitely be talking to the school about this, as it's completely unacceptable.

curiousierandcouriser · 05/02/2019 05:45

YANBU- If this happened te way wrote it, then yes, the teacher was unprofessional. Other students should not be roped into arguments and berated for not "backing up" the teacher. All lesson materials should be readily on-hand for the lesson (though we all bad days and forget things once in awhile). I would be tempted to query this with the teacher.

swingofthings · 05/02/2019 06:34

Another teacher totally stressed leading them to do and say things they wouldn't otherwise. Sadly DD at the end of it. She'll probably be off sick before she really goes mad.

ArmchairTraveller · 05/02/2019 06:43

Not acceptable at all. But I’m curious, is this a teacher or a TA?

Original poster
Isaidmaybe · 05/02/2019 07:06

Thanks guys. There was also mention of Mr X (headteacher) didn't want to run these (maths support sessions aimed at getting them to pass their GCSEs for those who are close) sessions anyway so I'll just tell Miss Senco and we will just cancel them .

OP posts:
colditz · 05/02/2019 07:11

YANBU

Email SENCO

SENCO and teachers are often at loggerheads wrt behavioural expectations. SENCOO will know how to handle this one.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 05/02/2019 07:15

Awful behaviour on teachers part

pilates · 05/02/2019 07:23

I’m not one for running in to speak to teachers but in the circumstances you have described I would want to.

Original poster
Isaidmaybe · 05/02/2019 08:28

Thank you. I'm going to email the teacher and cc senco.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isaidmaybe · 05/02/2019 11:12

Sorry Armchair I missed your question.
Definitely a teacher. I actually think they are Head of Department but not 100% on that.

OP posts:
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