To consider moving to a totally different part of the county?

[schopenhauer]

My family (who we love near now) think I am basically an idiot for even considering it, and to be honest I think they might be right. We currently live in the south east and would be moving to a different part of the UK. I am considering it for the following reasons:

1. My husband wants this new job he has been offered, he would be close to his family, which he would like
2. He would earn more money and house prices are much much cheaper
3. It is a more relaxed way of life, less busy, less traffic and lots of beautiful countryside which we could spend time in as a family
4. He would work fewer hours and have much less of a commute
5. I could afford not to work, although I would like to find a job, even if part time, to meet people and continue with my career.

Downsides are

1. DC1 is due to start school in sept and I am unsure she would get a place if we moved between now and then (though I think it’s a bit easier than down here, since it’s a less populated area)
2. Big upheaval for the DC
3. Far from my family. They would visit (parents retired and enjoy traveling and have good disposable income). But they are getting on and maybe in 10 years wouldn’t be able to visit half as much
4. I wouldn’t have any friends. It’s a more friendly area than here and I don’t have loads of friends where we are but more than zero, which is what it would be in this area
5. It’s harder to find a job in my field, though I think I would eventually as I have quite specialist skills
6. I hate moving (done it a lot already)
7. DH job might want him to go somewhere else after this project (around 8 years)
8. Brexit and all its uncertainty just makes things even harder

So am I crazy to consider this? At present life is quite stressful due to working long hours, I have to do all the drop offs and pick ups to childcare for DSs (2 and 4) and we don’t have much disposable income due to a fairly big mortgage/high childcare costs/no promotions and pay freezes for the past couple years for both DH and I. However, we do have a nice house in a fairly good area, my job is secure (DH less so - hence looking around for a new one) and we are close to my family who help us with the DC.

Has anyone got any stories of relocating with small DC?

Which county are you planning to move to a different part of?

my job is secure

No-one can really say this.

We relocated to a new area when dc were around 8 and 6. They moved schools and soon adapted. Yours are younger, somwill probably fimdmit easier as they have fewer ties.

Regarding schools, ring the local county council,and see what their policy is on kids entering the area. You may find they have to accomadate you.

I think the positives outweigh the negatives on your list. With young children, you can soon make friends at the school gate, clubs they join etc.

Regarding jobs, you may not find the ideal,job straight away, but maybe you can consider a stop-gap,job until,something comes along. Also, you said you wouldn’t initially have to find a job.

It sounds like a fresh start is what you are looking for, so,go,for,it.

Yep go. You’ll make new friends with mums at DC school esp if you’re not working. You will stil havenfamily close by as DHs family live near.

I would do it. Your “cons” aren’t really cons to me because they’re all fixable. And even if you have to think about moving in 8 years, well, you can think about it then. Nothing is fixed for life. you’ll make new friends. Now is the best time to move before any DC start school. Moving house sucks, yes, but that’s true whether you move up the street or up the country. And look at all the positives! I would definitely do it.

I’d echo Petal. Go for it.

We relocated with 1yr old and 4yr old DC from SE to north of England (small town on edge of big city). What we found:

1. Much larger house, which in turn reduced conflicts with DC - they could have their own rooms, they could have lots of friends round without it being too noisy.

1. Reduced commuting by 2hrs a day - equivalent of having a whole extra day off (may not be as easy nowadays)

1. Lots of easy and cheap ways to entertain children, lots of places to walk to from house, we could go out to park or local woodland in the evening after work.

1. Easy to find good school - we had choice of 3-4 with places

1. childcare cheaper (we used childminder), partly lower rates, partly - needed for less time because of reduced commute. Cost of living in generalseems lower, so we were able to spend more money on enhancing children's experiences.

1. Friendly people with good community spirit. I've found it easy to make friends here.

1. Not great career-wise - accepted a role which didn't entirely match my skillset, and my upward progression stopped. But I found I cared less because quality of life was so much better, and I didn't want the damage to work-life balance that further upward progression would have entailed.

1. Children had a good childhood, and going to very local school meant their friends were all close by, so they were able to have a great deal of independence.

But:

1. This is our "forever home" - I don't know how I'd feel if we'd moved after 8 years

1. I'm still in England - Wales and Scotland would have more differences

1. Evidence that schools in N of England aren't as good as in S - means that a child who is not both highly academic and highly motivated may struggle to get into a "good" university and, of course, unpaid internships in London will be out of the question, so that will restrict career choice.

All of the positives seem to be for your DH -- his job, his family, his salary, his commute. What's in it for you, particularly if you don't want to be a SAHM, hate moving and have done it a lot, will know no one, and will find it harder to find a job?

We did it (to Bristol). And my parents did it too, when I was a child (to Lancs).

Your kids will make new friends, as will you. It might be more of an effort, but you all will. It could be very exciting too, especially if you'll have more free time as a result of the move. Do check on your finances though and make sure you have contingencies in place.

In 8 years you can always move back. We did, as did my parents. But we never regretted moving.

We completely relocated when DS1 was in reception, he did one year in the city and then we moved over the summer holidays and he started Year1 in his new school.
I was sooooo worried about him, but I asked him about it not that long ago and he can hardly remember it - he's now in yr 6 and moving to secondary in sept (how time flies)
We moved for DHs job, my job couldn't easily transfer and due to having no local family I ended up starting my own practice so I could have flexibility to work around pick ups / drop offs etc.
It's not been easy but we've all made new friends and we have a nicer garden (we didn't have one in the city) and house as it more affordable.

Doh, pretty stupid typo in my op that - I obviously mean a different part of the country, not county.

Thanks for all the replies so far. Parthenhope I agree my dh seems to benefit more than me. But I will benefit in turn also, as we will have more money as a family and he will be around more, working and commuting less hours.

I think you should stay where your family is and not move your kids just for a job. Especially as you will be isolated and may be required to move again in a few years!!

I'm a southerner and moved north - although before children - and although I get the odd pang of homesickness I love the space and life up here. Eventually some of my southern family joined me to get rid of their mortgages.

I moved over 250 miles last year, south to north. I knew nobody. I go out, I have friends, the countryside is beautiful, I love my house.
Little things that would make huge difference if my children were yount, lots of free/cheap places to go, beaches, reservoirs, countryside for picnics. There's a place nearby that has birds of prey, unusual birds, lizards etc. It's two quid entry and it's fabulous!
Buses run on time and generally speaking no matter what the weather! Schools are not generally oversubscribed.

If I were in your shoes I would do it!

I would absolutely move.