Would you reduce your hours or get signed off?

[donefor]

Name changed.

I work FT, DP works full time plus has a long commute. DS is in year 7. He has ADHD and ODD "with autistic traits".

DS is miserable at secondary and has been regularly refusing to go in. I am so stressed out with various medical and school appointments, constantly being late for work, and the consistent drama with DS at home. It's like having a toddler, I have to do so much for him to avoid meltdowns all the time.

I'm exhausted.

Work is really busy but I just feel like a zombie and like I can't carry on like this.

Asking for reduced hours would affect finances and could increase my stress levels long term. Work are fairly busy at the moment so I'd feel bad getting signed off altogether but I just can't carry on like this.

WWYD?

Get signed off initially. Take work out the equation for a while & see how you feel

Getting signed off is a temporary measure that may afford you some space and time to recharge a little, as much as your circumstances allow. It depends on your workplace obviously, but could you reduce hours just temporarily and would this be something you could reinstate later? Would you still feel guilty for not being there FT?

Well, you need to talk to your manager and see what you can work out together. Otherwise you are just second guessing what might be possible with work. Maybe a couple of weeks leave to allow you to start sorting out some solutions for your son, and then reduced hours for a month and then back to full time? Perhaps your DP can also speak to his/her boss and come up with a similar arrangement? Or you manage the situation between you and so you both have slightly reduced hours?

Get signed off as a temporary measure and then reassess.

Ooops, pressed send too soon. Working PT can be very stressful (it is in my role) as I essentially am trying to squeeze more hours into less.

Thanks for all advice.

Yes, I do worry about PT being more stressful.

The other worry is that we're likely to be made at risk of redundancy in the next few months. Going off sick would obviously impact on my absence rate which I think is commonly used in scoring.

Gahhhhhh.

Speaking to work may be a good idea, perhaps even seeing if I can do half days a couple of times a week. But then it's using up my precious annual leave which is needed for school hols.

I am too scared of redundancy to make a doctors appointment. Especially if I say it's due to stress, are they likely to count that against me in redundancy selection even if they don't outwardly say so?

Whereas if I ask to cut hours then I'm cheaper for them to keep on.

Or I could just use up some annual leave to give myself a little break and worry about the childcare in the holidays issue when it gets to it.

I don't know what to do. And it's bloody impossible to make a good decision when stressed!

They tend to be more concerned about several short sickness absences e.g. 3 or more lots of 1-2 days rather than one lot of sickness of a few weeks

I would speak to your employer and be honest about the situation and see if they can offer you some interim flexibility. Really depends upon your employer and how they value family matters affecting you and your work.

I work PT but about to increase hours to near FT, I can't cope anymore with PT and just think I will have an easier time, things get left for me(most experienced), I feel like I do a FT workload in PT hours, be careful, if I were you I would take some time out first.

I ended up taking 6 months leave in similar situation after work friend (and they are good home friend too) forced me to the doctors after months of "coping" (I so wasn't looking back). It allowed me to.sort out schools, medical appointments, get some therapy myself.

Unfortunately it became clear I couldn't work ft due to kids additional needs. Im lucky that work offered school hours and term time so I can drop off and pick up. Yes we have huge drop in income but we are all coping a bit better.

I think I'm going to speak to work tomorrow and see if I can reduce my hours just for a month or so.

DS only went to bed 20 minutes ago after a three hour tantrum because his phone was confiscated.

The silly thing is, work is quite calm in comparison to home but home life is just so draining that I'm shattered at work. I think DS needs more of me than he's getting at the moment too.