AIBU to be cross, again, with STBXH parenting fail?

[ScoobyCan]

STBXH is proving to be even more of a shit parent than I thought.

DC were with him this weekend. We were chatting this morning and they told me that at one point STBXH left the house to post a letter with my eldest DC, leaving my youngest playing. Whilst I'm uncomfortable with this I understand the postbox "isn't as far as the shops, mummy, he wouldn't let me stay at his house whilst he walked to the shops."

They then tell me that this happened when they were staying with a relative over October half term. STBXH and eldest DC went out on a dog walk. Relative was out at the time "at a meeting"; youngest was left at home because he was poorly, waited for relative to return. Very very rural location. I have no idea (DC had JUST turned 7) how long youngest was left.

AIBU to ask whether this is even legal let alone neglectful?? I wouldn't dream of leaving a (poorly) child home alone. I just asked "what would you have done if the doorbell rang?" DC said "answered it."

I’d not be happy either. 7 is too young to be left alone.

I had a similar issue when DD was 7, took legal advice that unless an accident befell her it would be seen as a parenting difference. It is interesting now that he has very little contact due to DD's choice, but has issues with her walking home from school the whole mile at age 15.

lonecat Marvellous isn’t it what if an accident does happen- it’s too late then.

@lifecouldbeadream I was advised that unfortunately family law is reactive not proactive.

I started leaving mine for around 5 mins aged 7 but the rules were do not open the door to anyone other than me/DH but that we had keys anyway, no cooking or boiling kettle either.

Our post box is 5 doors away though. You have to start sometime

Post box? I'm not that fussed. 2-3 mins each way.

Dog walk and no instruction not to answer the door? Fussed.

Thanks for the input - it concerns me that we have to wait for something to happen before those in authority start jumping up and down...

I always think it’s about their ability to deal with something unexpected happening, and about their willingness to be left.

If something happened, would they have the common sense to deal with it? At 7, I’d say most children would struggle if something happened. Even teenagers occasionally get it wrong. Most 7 year olds could be trusted to play by themselves, but what happens if something caught fire, would they know what to do?

You don't actually know how long the dog walk was though, do you? You seem to be imagining a long romp through the countryside when it may just have been two minutes walk up the road to let the dog have a wee, no further than the post box that you are ok with.