Is this disingenuous?

[Hmm12]

Close friend couldn’t attend milestone birthday so offered to take me for lunch. He then suggested we split the bill - fine. As my present he said he would take us both on a day out and to let me know when I was free. I have.. But have heard nothing back other than some murmurs of he will arrange something... How to handle? I’m not crabby and don’t care but feel a bit about it...

Grabby thar should say! We met again today and absolutely nothing has been mentioned despite him insisting previously that “my present to you is a day out at xyz place”

I don't think you're getting your day out.

If I were you, I'd just forget about it. If he brings it up again make a joke about it.

If it happens, then that's a bonus.

Well if you want to give him a nudge you could ask him if he has chosen a date as you need to organise other things on any days he hasn’t chosen.

To be honest he sounds a bit of a flake and if he gives you an excuse now I would forget about it.

Just feel a bit deflated. I guess the obvious answer is also not to get him a birthday present but I would feel mean not doing so

Well, I think he’s telling you, in a very unsubtle way, that he really doesn’t give a damn about your significant birthday. What you choose to do about that is up to you. Sorry.
Happy birthday btw.

We are close friends since school so not a romantic thing.

Just wondering if he doesn't have the money for the day out and doesn't want to say it?
He might be feeling bad . I'd leave it go just in case .... if he brings it up again, then fine, go with it, but otherwise leave it.
Is he a good friend otherwise? It's not always about the big gestures.

Could he be having money problems and awkwardly avoiding your birthday day out plan until he’s sorted out funds?

That is a possibility but then don’t suggest anything/bake a cake etc etc. It stings more because I made a big effort for his along with other friends.

Well if you made a big effort for his , then he's probably feeling even worse for not being able to afford to do the same for you....and that's why he's saying he'll do something big .
If ye are good friends and you think this could be financial, be a good friend , forget it and move on.

I've had vaguely similar things with flakey friends. Tbh for their birthday I suggest we do the special thing together as each others present. I broach it in a casual non heavy way... Hey person, we never got round to doing x for my bday so how about instead we do y as a present to each other?

Many of my closest friends have bdays near mine and I often now suggest we go out for a posh meal together as present to each other, as we get older I value a nice day or evening in a friend's company a lot more than a candle etc. I know the last bit isn't relevant to your situation, just thinking out loud...

I think specifically offering to take you for lunch and then suggesting splitting the bill makes him a bit of a cheapskate (if he was hard up he could have offered to cook for you or just suggested meeting up without offering). You won't be getting the day out either. I'd probably only be mildly irritated and chalk it up to experience. I probably wouldn't be splashing out on an extravagant gift for his milestone birthday though!

When it's his birthday, just say "Your present is a trip to abc" ....then never get around to doing that either. He might get the message then.