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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they're all wrong?

6 replies

SofaKingFedUp · 03/02/2019 14:39

I have worked at my job for 4 years on and off (leave for 6 months and back for winter) most of the same people work there just a few changes in management.
I have recently come back from maternity and there are 2 new managers, one is pregnant and the other is a man with a son who's about 18 months old.
We are short staffed because 2 members of staff have called in sick, which seems to be happening alot recently and the manager on dayshift asked asked the night shift manager (guy with 18 month old) to come in early. His reply was "have you asked other staff first? Before I do free hours" he's salaried and he's also worked 6 days straight and has stated his wife is ill so he has been doing most of the housework/cooking/and looking after LO.
In my opinion it's fair enough that he would rather someone else to it , given his circumstances at the moment also there is 4 other members of management who could be picking up the slack. They have a management group chat so one of them has screenshotted the conversation and posted it into the staff group chat, which he is not apart of. I don't think this is appropriate as now everyone is slagging him off for not wanting to come in.
Some of the responses were
"Look at him mansplaining at how hard it is to cook his own dinner and look after his own child"
"As if we don't all have things to do, his child is like 5, they're not that hard to look after"
"Some of us have uni work to do"
"He chose to have a child, his problem"

This pissed me off, today is the third time this week I have been called in early because of sickness or because someone didn't prioritise their time correctly and left uni work too late so were begging for their shift to be covered. I covered as I am lucky to have my mum as a babysitter whenever I need and she is available all the time.
They chose to study, and I'm all for studying to better your chances of getting good jobs etc that's why I covered their shift, even though I constantly read messages of how they are avoiding uni work because they can't be bothered. I also get that he is deputy manager so it's usually their job to pick up the hours that can't be covered, but when there are 4 other members of management then I would probably be the same. None of these people have children either.

They have problems with this manager for reasons unknown to me as I've only been back 3 weeks, but now I feel if I am in a situation where if my LO is ill or my mum is ill and unable to babysit, I will have to call in sick as I have no one else to babysit but I will get slated behind my back? I have a fairly good relationship with my colleagues, I get on with everyone but I feel these comments were distasteful and immature, also sharing screenshots of the managers chat is not acceptable in my mind.

I feel like not going in early, and refusing to cover any shifts from now on if that's their attitude.
Don't know if ibu because of lack of sleep and feeling touchy. I don't even know this manager properly as he works opposite shifts to me most of the time, worked with him a couple of shifts, but I feel bad for the guy. He came across as an ok guy to me.

Would IBU to say something? 3 members of management are all friends with the staff, going out at the weekends, socialising after work etc to it feels a little like bullying.

OP posts:
Oldbutnotold · 03/02/2019 14:52

Do you work in the motor industry by any chance.... I had for a few years before dc and this was happening all the time... never went back

SofaKingFedUp · 03/02/2019 15:01

No, I work in hospitality and I'm considering leaving if this is going to be the general attitude of people. I mean I never call in sick unless I really have to, but now I had DD I know there will be times where I don't be able to make it in, I'm just worried I will bullied (behind my back) if this happens.

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 03/02/2019 15:04

That’s completely unacceptable to share that screenshot as the purpose behind doing that clearly was to result in the kind of responses they’ve had.
Is there an overall manager you can flag this with? I’m guessing their response is more to do with whatever issue they have with him though than particularly about him having a child so I wouldn’t worry too much about your situation.

Drogosnextwife · 03/02/2019 15:22

I'm guessing most of these people are younger students. Do you work I McDonald's by any chance. My brother did and the hitching that went on in both his shops was horrendous. I honestly wouldn't give 2 shits if people were talking about you behind your back, it's immature. Don't let it bother you.

Drogosnextwife · 03/02/2019 15:23

Bitching not hitching.

SofaKingFedUp · 03/02/2019 15:36

Not McDonalds, but a large company that has a fast food and a restaurant franchise.
Usually I wouldn't be bothered by people talking behind my back, since having DD though I have suffered from anxiety. I'm a FTM and leaving DD was a little struggle but good for me, I had two jobs prior to maternity leave and chose to go back to this one and not the other as it is very flexible and all the staff used to get along really well and help eachother out, whereas the other job I was at if you had more than 6 days absences in 12 months you were threatened with being fired.
Reading those comments just made me a little anxious. I'm hoping they wouldn't be like that behind my back, and it's just a bundle of problems with the other guy but they've chosen to slate him for this as this was his excuse today.

OP posts:
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